SEB PSA: You have 3 days until the End of the World. Again.

Harold Camping at 6:01PM Saturday, May 21st, 2011.

Hey, remember back in May when apocalyptic preacher Harold Camping’s prediction that the world would end on the 21st of that month totally failed to happen?  His excuse at the time was that it was a “spiritual” judgement day and the actual apocalypse — the part with the hell-fire and brimstone and the complete destruction of the globe — would happen in five months time. Well, that five months comes to an end Friday.

Camping hasn’t been making much noise since his last prediction failed to materialize because, he claims, that if you were saved prior to the “spiritual” judgement that took place back in May then there was no hope of being saved leading up to the actual end so why bother continuing to preach to anyone who hadn’t already gotten their shit together?

I have no doubts that Camping really believed the world was going to end on May 21st. Proof of that is the fact that he had a stroke not long after the events failed to unfold as he had predicted them to. I don’t even care that he really believed his own nonsense. What does bother me is that he managed to convince a shitload of other people to buy into it. Many of whom spent their life savings and quit their jobs and moved across the country because this old fool had sold them a bill of goods. He did real damage to people’s lives and he himself probably won’t be around that much longer to regret given his age and his health.

But that hasn’t stopped him from doubling down on his prediction that the actual destruction of the planet will take place this Friday in this video clip from the Associated Press:

No Harold, you’re definitely not a genius. But then it doesn’t take genius to make wild predictions. All it takes is faith, which you no doubt have in abundance. It’ll be interesting to hear what your next excuse will be when Saturday comes and the world and everyone on it is still here.

Try not to have another stroke over it. It really shouldn’t be much of a surprise the third time around.

Harold Camping has unveiled his excuse: The Apocalypse did occur, just not the way we thought it would.

Harold Camping at 6:01PM Saturday, May 21st, 2011.

We’ve all been waiting with bated breath for Harold Camping to come out of his shell and explain why the rapture didn’t occur last Saturday like he said it would. Will he shift the goal posts as is often the tactic of the overly credulous when their predictions fail to materialize? (It’s the tactic used by the True Bible Nutcases and it has worked for them nearly 300 times now!) Will he admit he’s a clueless old man who talked thousands into ruining their lives? Or will he stubbornly insist that his predication came true, just not in the manner he thought it would?

If you picked option C then you’re a winner!

Through chatting with a friend over what he acknowledged was a very difficult weekend, it dawned on him that instead of the biblical Rapture in which the faithful would be swept up to the heavens, May 21 had instead been a “spiritual” Judgment Day, which places the entire world under Christ’s judgment, he said.

The globe will be completely destroyed in five months, he said, when the apocalypse comes. But because God’s judgment and salvation were completed on Saturday, there’s no point in continuing to warn people about it, so his network will now just play Christian music and programs until the final end on Oct. 21.

“We’ve always said May 21 was the day, but we didn’t understand altogether the spiritual meaning,” he said. “The fact is there is only one kind of people who will ascend into heaven … if God has saved them they’re going to be caught up.”

via Preacher says world will actually end in October – Yahoo! News.

Yes, it’s not that he was wrong about the date of the rapture, he was just wrong about the saved being swept up into Heaven during the rapture. Instead, the saved get to stay here on Earth to annoy the hell out of the rest of us right up to the point where the Earth is destroyed by God in October.

The good news is that in 5 months time we get to make fun of Harold Camping and anyone who’s still stupid enough to believe him all over again.

And we had such high hopes too.

It would’ve been nice, but it was not meant to be.

I’ve got new plans for Sunday.

Thanks to this Dork Tower comic:

What a truly awesome idea!

SEB PSA: You have 12 days till the End of the World.

Pic of Family Radio Fools.

We're going to be very upset come May 22nd!

If you’ve been an SEB regular for awhile then you may recall back in January of last year when I wrote about Christian nutcase Harold Camping and his prediction that the rapture would occur on May 21st, 2011. For those of you without calendars, that’s a mere 12 days away. Still plenty of time to run up those credit card bills and tell off those family members who think you’re crazy for listening to a man who has already been wrong in predicting the end of the world once already. Your natural inclination is to think no one would take this nutter seriously, but plenty do making a point of listening to his sermons on FamilyRadio.com and handing out tracts to anyone who will accept them.

While it’s always fun to ridicule folks like Camping, it becomes a little less so when you realize just how much some folks have invested, sometimes literally, in his bullshit:

Haubert says the Bible contains coded “proofs” that reveal the timing. For example, he says, from the time of Noah’s flood to May 21, 2011, is exactly 7,000 years. Revelations like this have changed his life.

“I no longer think about 401(k)s and retirement,” he says. “I’m not stressed about losing my job, which a lot of other people are in this economy. I’m just a lot less stressed, and in a way I’m more carefree.”

He’s tried to warn his friends and family. They think he’s crazy. And that saddens him.

“Oh, it’s very hard,” he says. “I worry about friends and family and loved ones. But I guess more recently, I’m just really looking forward to it.”

via Is The End Nigh? We’ll Know Soon Enough : NPR.

My friends and family will be suffering eternal torment and I couldn’t be more stoked!

Yeah, that’s a bit twisted, but this is just sad:

“Knowing the date of the end of the world changes all your future plans,” says 27-year-old Adrienne Martinez.

She thought she’d go to medical school, until she began tuning in to Family Radio. She and her husband, Joel, lived and worked in New York City. But a year ago, they decided they wanted to spend their remaining time on Earth with their infant daughter.

“My mentality was, why are we going to work for more money? It just seemed kind of greedy to me. And unnecessary,” she says.

And so, her husband adds, “God just made it possible — he opened doors. He allowed us to quit our jobs, and we just moved, and here we are.”

Now they are in Orlando, in a rented house, passing out tracts and reading the Bible. Their daughter is 2 years old, and their second child is due in June. Joel says they’re spending the last of their savings. They don’t see a need for one more dollar.

“You know, you think about retirement and stuff like that,” he says. “What’s the point of having some money just sitting there?”

“We budgeted everything so that, on May 21, we won’t have anything left,” Adrienne adds.

Nothing, except for the fervent hope that all of them will be raptured.

Oh, but there will be some major disappointment come May 22nd. These people have thrown away their livelihoods and any aspirations for the future on a fantasy that isn’t going to happen. Harold Camping is 89-years-old so it doesn’t really matter to him if he’s wrong because he’s already lived his life. His legacy will be the hundreds, if not thousands, of people he managed to delude into believing his nonsense whose lives he will have severely damaged, if not outright ruined. He’s convinced them all to take the ultimate sucker’s bet and he’s gonna have some serious ‘splanin’ to do in less than a fortnight.

I often say that too much faith will make you crazy and it’s hard to find a better example of that than Camping and his fools. Still, they have every right to believe whatever stupid-ass thing they want to. Just feel bad they don’t have a Plan B just in case, and I know the chances are ridiculously slim, that Camping might be wrong a second time.

The Rapture Ready 2007 guy admits he was wrong, but is still a believer.

As mentioned by a couple of folks in another thread, the rapture was supposed to have happened by December 31st of 2007 at the latest according to the nutcase True Believer™ who runs this website. Being as it’s January 2nd, 2008 and Mr. True Believer™ is still on the planet along with the vast majority of other True Believers™, he’s posted the following correction to his site:

He then goes on to offer a lengthy excuse as to why he was wrong typed in ALL CAPS to show his sincerity. He speculates that perhaps he came out with his revelation too soon. He was supposed to wait for a sign from God and thought that had come in the form of some lady telling him it was time to reveal God’s message to him. You’d think God could come up with something a little more, substantial, as a means of notifying this guy it was time, but whatever. The important thing is that he doesn’t know why he was wrong (is that God giggling in the background?), but that it hasn’t shaken his faith nor should it shake yours:

I STILL BELIEVE THE PROPHETIC DREAM I HAD WAS FROM GOD. I HAVE TOLD THE DREAM JUST AS GOD GAVE IT TO ME. THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF IS THAT I RELEASED THE DREAM AT THE WRONG TIME AND GOT THE BOOK PUBLISHED TOO EARLY. MAYBE THE DREAM HAD SOME KIND OF SYMBOLIC MEANING INSTEAD OF A LITERAL MEANING THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO FIGURE OUT YET. I STILL DO NOT KNOW WHAT I HAVE DONE WRONG AND WHY THE PROPHECY FAILED. I PROMISE ALL OF YOU THAT I DID NOT INTENTIONALLY MEAN TO HURT OR MISLEAD ANYBODY. I PROMISE I DID NOT MAKE UP THE DREAM. I KNOW MANY OF YOU ARE VERY DISAPPOINTED, BUT I ASSURE YOU NO ONE IS AS DISAPPOINTED AS I AM. PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I HAVE SHAKENED ANYONE’S FAITH WITH THIS PROPHECY. I KNEW I WAS GOING TO GET MUCH OPPOSITION TO THE PROPHECY SO I WAS PREPARED FOR IT AND WAS DETERMINED NO ONE WOULD CHANGE MY MIND. THE CRITICISM REALLY DID NOT BOTHER ME ANY. I STILL BELIEVE IN A RAPTURE OF THE CHILDREN OF GOD BEFORE THE TRIBULATION BEGINS. I STILL BELIEVE IT HAS TO BE SOON BECAUSE OF ALL THE WARS AND FIGHTING AROUND THE WORLD AND THE HATEFULLNESS AGAINST ISRAEL, GOD’S CHOSEN PEOPLE!! I STILL BELIEVE THE RAPTURE OF THE CHURCH WILL BE IN MY LIFETIME AND IT WILL HAPPEN THE WAY GOD SHOWED ME IN THE DREAM. I STILL BELIEVE GOD WILL SEND A VERBAL VOICE TO WARN THE NATION BEFORE HE COMES BACK. MY TIMING WAS WRONG AND FOR THAT I DO APOLOGIZE. I SHOULD NOT HAVE RELEASED THE PROPHECY WHEN I DID. SO AGAIN, PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

Yes, we forgive you. It’s not your fault you’re a credulous idiot who believes God has chosen you to warn people of the impending End of the World when God could much more effectively communicate such a message if he so wanted to. Lots of idiots believe the same thing. You at least appear to be giving up on the prophecy business after your one wrong guess as opposed to the idiots at The Lords’ Witnesses and the True Bible Code website that were up to 62 wrong predictions the last time we checked in on them at the end of October I’d check again, but their site is blocked by the company firewall probably due to it’s IQ lowering potential.

So buck up Mr. Wrong About The Rapture Guy! At least you’ve only made an ass out of yourself once. It could be worse. You could be afflicted with the inability to know when to give up.