The latest trailer for “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” has hit the net.

And suddenly I’m 9 years-old all over again. For all I know the movie might be as bad as the prequels, but for the moment I couldn’t be more excited.

Now this is the “Star Wars Episode 1” I would’ve loved to have seen.

We need a good time machine so we can go back in time and show George Lucas just what a shitty set of prequels he was going to make in the future and how he should hire Michael Barryte to help him make them better. Cause the version of Episode 1 that he describes in the following video is one I would’ve been amazingly happy with.

Check it:

Doesn’t that sound like it would’ve been awesome? Darth Maul being a bad-ass for several movies, Obi-wan having some reason to be pissed off, Anakin not being some obnoxious little kid. What’s not to like?

Tony Perkins has a hissy fit over gay relationships in new “Star Wars” MMO.

Tony Perkins is the Evangelical head of the conservative Family Research Council and he has a big gay chip on his shoulder. So much so that he can’t handle gay relationships being recognized even in fictional universes:

“In a new Star Wars game, the biggest threat to the empire may be homosexual activists!” Perkins announced during his daily radio commentary. “In a galaxy not so far far away, Star Wars gamers have already gone to the dark side. The new video game, Star Wars: The Old Republic, has added a special feature: gay relationships.

via Tony Perkins: Star Wars ‘surrenders to gay empire’ | The Raw Story.

Oh my! Gay relationships? In an online video game? How will the empire ever survive?!?

According to Tony people are just up in arms over this development, which actually hasn’t happened yet (the ability to have same-sex relationships with companion characters is to be added later) and he cites the following as proof:

“On the game’s website, there are more than 300 pages of comments–a lot of them expressing anger that their kids will be exposed to this Star Warped way of thinking. You can join them by logging on and speaking up. It’s time to show companies who the Force is really with!”

The trouble with that, according to The Raw Story, is that there isn’t anything close to 300 pages on that topic and most of the comments that are there about it are far from angry. A good number of them are asking why the feature isn’t already in place.

Here’s the thing: The last people that Bioware is likely to listen to is a bunch of stuck-up Evangelicals who aren’t paying subscribers. They really don’t give a shit if Tony Perkins and the FRC aren’t happy about gay relationships being in the game. They can make all the noise they want and the only force they’ll be demonstrating is impotence.

It’s not like this is the first Bioware game to allow for same-sex relationships either. Mass Effect had the possibility of a sexual encounter between the same gender — if not same species — in the course of its story and the Evangelicals had a hissy fit over that as well to no avail.

Which isn’t to say that getting all flustered about is a complete waste of time for the FRC. After all, it’s a great way to raise funds. Actually changing anything, however, is probably hoping for a bit much.

Come to the Dark Side. We have cookies.

Things don’t go quite as planned at a Disneyland live Jedi Training Academy show when a little girl by the name of Sariah Gallego decides that she would really rather be on Darth Vader’s side:

I know it’s been posted everywhere, but it was too cute not to share.

“Star Wars” retold by someone who has never seen the movies.

This has been everywhere, but it’s so damn funny I had to share it here as well:

The age old Geek Question finally answered: Star Trek vs. Star Wars.

It’s an argument I can recall having in my youth. Who would win in a battle between a star destroyer and the starship Enterprise. Now, using recently discovered documentary footage, the question has finally been answered:

Found over at /Film.

Bioware and LucasArts annouce “Star Wars: The Old Republic” MMORPG.

When Sony first announced the Star Wars Galaxies MMORPG back in March of 2000 I was really excited at the possibilities only to be really disappointed with the end product. After watching my friend Hairboy play the beta it seemed very much like it was just Everquest redressed with Star Wars graphics. I never did end up buying the game. Now word comes that Bioware and LucasArts have teamed up to produce a MMORPG based on the highly successful Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic RPGs:

The story-based MMO will be set roughly 300 years after BioWare’s 2004 single-player RPG Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (PC, Xbox) and the Obsidian-developed sequel, or 3500 years before the beloved film series.

“We’re making KOTOR 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and beyond—this game is that big, it’s got that much content in it,” explained BioWare co-founder Ray Muzyka. “It’s very innovative—it’s story based.”

The game has seen a team of 12 full-time writers producing content for the past few years, according to IGN, with each class getting its own story arc as “not everybody’s fantasy was to be Luke [Skywalker].”

“You get to choose many things in the game—your faction, your class, good and evil, how your story unfolds,” explained lead designer James Ohlen.

“We thought of a Howard the Duck MMO, we thought it was a little too crazy,” Muzyka joked. He also noted that the game will feature a “full economy.”

“The game is playable,” asserted BioWare co-founder Greg Zeschuk, though a playable version was not shown today.

The Old Republic will allow players to choose a companion, as with the previous KOTOR games, and will have full PVP, PVE and RVR (realm vs. realm) combat along with raids. No classes have been revealed as of yet.

I have to admit that I’m not all that excited about it this time around. It probably doesn’t help that I was one of the few people who didn’t really care for Knights of the Old Republic. I bought it for the PC and played maybe a quarter of it before I got bored and moved on to other things. I never picked up the sequel. Granted, just like with Warcraft, the MMORPG by its very nature will have to play much differently than the RPG games did, but I’m still not all that excited about it. The setting is too far back in the past for me to give a crap. I’m much more interesting in the setting used by Star Wars Galaxies, but they fucked that game up so much that it’s not worth playing.

Of course my opinion may change as the game gets closer to release and we learn more about it, but my initial reaction is a solid “meh” at the announcement for now.

Kids make their own “Star Wars” movie, with help from Dad.

Not impressed with the kids making their own Doctor Who episode? Then how about kids making their own Star Wars movie, with help from Dad of course:

Best part of all? No Jar Jar.

Darth Vader and R2D2 USB hubs reveal the true power of your geekiness.

I’m torn. I’ve had the TARDIS USB hub on my Amazon.com Wish List for ages now, but I’m also drawn to these two hubs modeled after iconic Star Wars characters:

Meet the $68 animatronic Darth Vader and R2D2 USB hubs. Just stuff a USB Princess Leia into Darth’s neck and watch the dark lord’s eyes glow red as he scans side-to-side for the pretentious scowls of your contemptuous co-workers. Sounds effects? Oh you betcha…

Alas it appears as though these two will only be available in Japan for the time being. Plus the fact that the TARDIS hub is a good $23 cheaper will probably ensure that I’ll be sticking with my favorite Time Lord when it comes time to by a new USB hub.

Dance Off with the “Star Wars” Stars is just wrong…

… but I have a hard time not looking at it like it was some sort of horrible car accident:

Chewbacca and a Jawa dance to Footloose, Princess Leia and Queen Amidala are Girls Just Want to Have Fun, and Darth Vader is a Thriller in Dance Off with the Star Wars Stars, part of the 2008 Star Wars Weekends Hyperspace Hoopla show at Disney’s Hollywood Studios.

This small piece of cherished memory crushing video was found over at /Film.