So here we go again with Jesus showing up in a random inanimate object. This time it’s a receipt for Walmart which Jacob Simmons and Gentry Lee Sutherland just happened to notice appeared to have a face on it after being tossed on the floor and walked on.
The following Wednesday, the couple had just come home from a church service when Simmons spotted the receipt on the floor of Sutherland’s apartment. He says the receipt had changed.
“I was leaving the kitchen and I just looked on the floor, and it was like it was looking at me,” Simmons said.
A dark gray mark on the receipt seems to show two eyes, a nose and a mouth in a thickly bearded face.
“Then the more you look at it, the more it looked like Jesus, and it was just shocking, breathtaking,” Simmons said.
You can see a pic of the miracle receipt over there on the right. I see a face, but it doesn’t look all that Jesusy to me, or at least it’s not the traditional Anglo-Saxon depiction most folks flip the fuck out over. Perhaps that means it really is Jesus! If it is, he has one seriously fucked up nose. And that left ear! How far back is that thing located on his head??
But this is no ordinary couple of religious folks blindly accepting what their eyes are showing them. No, they did some research to ensure it was the Real Deal:
Simmons said he called the store to ask what could have made the mark.
“They said the only way you could really get it black was to put heat on it,” Simmons said.
The couple says they did nothing to make the face appear on the receipt.
“We just feel like it’s a blessing that God showed it to us and opened our eyes. And we just feel like we should share the blessing God gave to us to everybody else,” Sutherland said.
Because the clerks at Walmart are experts on pareidolia. Just looking at the picture I’d be willing to bet water was involved combined with a little pressure from someone walking on it.
But assuming it is Jesus, I again have to ask just what the nature of the blessing is supposed to be? What, exactly, does a crude image of Jesus on a Walmart receipt bestow on someone other than an opportunity to be an attention whore? Has it cured them of cancer or caused an amputated limb to regrow? Or is it just a warning that God is closely monitoring their purchasing habits? Perhaps he disapproves of them shopping at Walmart, but they’re misinterpreting what it’s supposed to mean!
Someone should warn them. That God fellow can be tricky at times.