The joy of living near asshole neighbors.

There’s always that one asshole in every neighborhood. I thought it was me, but it turns out I was wrong.

Instead, it’s a family with small children that apparently thinks that qualifies them to use one of the two handicapped spaces in our parking lot. There’s three different vehicles that fight over using that spot because it’s the closest to our building and none of them have handicapped tags. I’ve watched them park there and unload the car even when the spot RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO IT is open. Apparently that extra 2 feet they’d have to walk is just too much for them. 99% of the time there’s is an available spot elsewhere in the lot they could’ve parked, but they choose not to because apparently the rules don’t apply to them.

Meet the Asshole Family.

Meet the Asshole Family. That black SUV in the next spot? that’s one of the other two cars that fight over the handicapped spot.

What happens when the lot, including the handicapped spots, are full?

That’s what I was greeted with when I stepped out the door this morning. The windows are fogged so that SUV has been on the sidewalk all night long. There’s a lot at the end of the sidewalk in that last pic that’s just across the street that we were told we should use if our lot is full. That lot is never full. It’s an extra 30 feet. I’ve parked there when I’ve had to. We go over there occasionally anyway as that’s where our building’s dumpsters are located.

I really hate to think I’ve evolved into that cranky bastard neighbor, but it appears that I have and I’ve contacted the Canton Township police department about these asshats. I know in the grand scheme of things this is a relatively minor offense, but I have bad knees and I still walk the extra distance when I have to. I have friends and family that have legit handicapped stickers who would not be able to make use of this spot because some asshole thinks their toddlers can’t walk the extra distance without being abducted or something.

Hey, at least I haven’t left them passive-aggressive printouts on their windshield… yet.

Little old lady puts up a 24 foot cross and pisses off the neighbors.

Just what Jesus really wants to be reminded of when he comes back to Earth.

Sometimes it’s tough showing the world how much you love Jesus. 72-year-old Laly Dobener out in California found this out the hard way when she decided that she needed to erect a 24 foot cross in her front yard complete with blood stains where Jesus would have been impaled. She said she constructed it in accordance to the specifications of a Christian religious movement called the “Cross of Love.”

But her neighbors — probably all godless communists — have complained to the city and now The Man is trying to keep her down:

“She has two options,” Building and Safety spokesman Dave Lara said. “Option A is that she takes it down and Option B is that she tries to get a permit.

“If she wants to apply for the permit, though, she has to meet all design, building and zoning codes … This is a public safety issue.”

The 72-year-old retired baker faces an immediate fine of $336 and has 30 days to either dismantle the cross or obtain a permit. Failure to do so could result in up to some $3,000 in fines.

Now this may surprise some of you, given my opposition to other 24 foot lawn-based crosses in the past, but I think this old lady is within her rights to have this cross on her property. The primary difference between this one and the other one I linked to is that this one isn’t illuminated which greatly reduces just how obnoxious it is.

Her neighbors, however, say the cross has attracted numerous passers-by to the quiet cul-de-sac, and is driving down property values.

Really? Those are the best arguments you can come up with against this cross? Once the novelty wears off traffic will levels will return to normal and I doubt it’s really that big of a hit to your property value, but if you’re that worried about it then perhaps you should sell your home now before things get any worse.

The one place people should always have a strong right to display their religious beliefs is on their private property. If the city really wants to be hard asses about it and make her go through a permit process because they’re worried it’ll fall over and flatten some kid passing by, fine, but they shouldn’t throw undue obstacles in her path when she does apply. If this thing were beaming lights into people’s windows or blaring hymns all day long then I could see a reason to bitch about it, but it’s just sitting there not doing much of anything other than giving a little joy to a superstitious old lady. If this were in my neighborhood I’d roll my eyes the first time I saw it and then I’d forget it was there and get on with my life.

But then I’m an amoral, godless, liberal, atheist so I suppose that kind of live-and-let-live attitude is only to be expected from me.

Man posts sign expressing delight that his neighbor has cancer.

Well that's not very neighborly! Click to embiggen!

I can be an asshole at times just like anyone else, but this is taking assholeishness to a whole other level:

Cranston residents protest sign urging cancer patient to die – Projo 7 to 7 News Blog 

Bob Gold, 55, has been in remission for a year from Hodgkin’s lymphoma, which he has been fighting since February 2009. He said that on Monday, he was in his backyard when he saw a holiday wreath with a red bow on the back window of Jimmis’ garage. A hand-lettered note inside the wreath read: “Glad you have canser (sic). So die stupid.”

It seems that Edward Jimmis, the man who put up the sign, had previously had some sort of disagreements with Bob Gold, his neighbor, that left him with one hell of a grudge. He says in the news item that he “wanted to hit a nerve” and he certainly accomplished that goal as several people showed up to protest outside his house. Gold also called the police about the sign, but Jimmis wasn’t doing anything illegal in posting it so there wasn’t a whole lot they could do. They did show up to ensure that the protest stayed peaceful and commended the folks present for holding the protest.

After a reporter spoke with Jimmis he changed the sign to read “love your neighbor” as some sort of act of contrition:

On Tuesday, Gold, unsatifisfied with the change, called the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and visited the mayor’s office, speaking with Carlos E. Lopez, who handles constituent affairs.

“We can’t legislate being a good neighbor,” Lopez said later in the day. “You want to be able to help, but we have to make sure we respect everyone’s legal rights. … Let’s hope for the better side of humanity to prevail on this.”

Police did send some representatives to talk to both men about sitting down and working out their differences. Jimmis agreed that he was being an asshole in posting the sign and he promised that he wouldn’t post it again. He also agreed to sitting down with officers and Gold to talk things out:

Gold, however, said he wasn’t yet ready to sit down with his neighbor.

Which is a shame because it will justify in his neighbor’s mind that he was right to be an asshole. You go through all that trouble to bring attention to your neighbor’s dickishness and shame him into being contrite and then you refuse to try and work things out? Who’s being the asshole now?

Grandma uses her tits in fight against noisy ATVs.

Sometimes in life you’ll find yourself at loggerheads with your neighbors over issues that the cops can’t really address. Marika De Florio of Seeley’s Bay, Ontario found herself in just such a situation and found an equally clever way to deal with it:

Bare breasts vs. neighbour’s ATV – Canada – Canoe.ca.

The 56-year-old says she is sick and tired of her neighbours’ five-year-old grandson driving a loud all-terrain vehicle for hours on her quiet street in Seeley’s Bay, near Kingston. So she found a solution under her shirt.

De Florio has discovered that if she goes out topless, the boy’s horrified grandparents rush the child into the house.

And she said she will continue to go topless every time the child rides the ATV.

“It is maddening,” she said of the noise.

“I’m going mental. I can’t breathe and I’m not moving, but I need some peace. I can’t believe I did this, but they pulled the kid inside and then called police because of their small-town mentality.”

That’s what I call thinking with your chest! Now you may be thinking to yourself that this solution can’t work for too long what with the police getting involved, but it turns out that — much like riding a noisy ATV for hours on end — De Florio isn’t doing anything illegal:

She is not breaking the law, because in Canada women are allowed to be topless.

“There is not a criminal charge for that … not since 1996,” said Toronto Police Const. Isabelle Cotton.

[…]

Former University of Guelph student Gwen Jacobs caused an uproar when she strolled topless down the street on a hot summer day in July 1991.

She fought all the way to the Ontario Court of Appeal and won the right for women in the province to go shirtless in public, so long as they are not seeking commercial gain or displaying overt sexuality.

Needless to say, the neighbors aren’t happy about this solution:

Mike Berry says he is also at the end of his rope.

“I’m not happy with what has been going on,” he said. “We need a little give and take. It isn’t right to go around topless in front of kids.”

Right, because the sight of a naked breast is just so horribly corrupting to young minds. Which is why you should blindfold a baby before breastfeeding it and never let children watch or read National Geographic.

It’s probably a safe bet that at 56-years-old De Florio’s boobs are probably a little worse for wear, but I’m proud of her for baring them just the same. Of course, if her neighbors weren’t such prudes it would all be in vain, but I suppose that’s one silver lining to having prudes around.

Spooky weekend notes.

So Friday was Halloween and it’s a good thing that my in-laws dropped that bag of candy off as we actually had a few trick or treaters this year. Not a whole lot, the one bag still had a fair amount left over when it was done, but enough to make us feel like we actually got to participate for a change. Another cool part of the evening was getting to meet at least one of our neighbors who were also giving out candy. It was their first Halloween in the townhomes as well and were just as curious as to whether or not we’d see any trick or treaters. Ended up chatting with them (I’m not mentioning their names because I’m not sure if they’d be comfortable being blogged about) for a good part of the evening well after the ghosts and goblins retired for the night and we had a lot in common. I’m looking forward to hanging out with them from time to time.

Saturday was spent running about for the first half as Courtney worked early in the day and then Anne worked in the latter half. About the time Anne went to work Courtney was ready to come home so after dropping the wife off I hurried over to pick up the kid. She was upset because her paycheck was a lot less than she expected it to be so she called work when we got home and discovered that she’s paid weekly and not biweekly like she had thought. So we got back in the car and went up to her job so she could pick up the second paycheck she didn’t know about. Then down to Fantastic Sams so she could get her hair cut. We were back home for about ten minutes when my phone rang and it was Anne asking if I could run a book up to her place of employment. She’s working in an assisted living facility for folks with traumatic brain injuries and had been assigned to sit and monitor a client who had been having trouble. That meant a lot of time sitting in the room doing nothing. So I grabbed the book she’s been reading and piled into the car and ran it up to her job. Fortunately all of us work within five minutes of where we’re living these days so this wasn’t as much running around as it seems. I had a massive headache by the time I made it back home, though, and spent the rest of the day zoning in front of the TV and playing WoW with Courtney.

Everyone had Sunday off and we spent it being mostly lazy. Anne worked on the laundry and we all sat around and watched the Marky Mark movie Shooter during dinner. Other than laundry not a lot was accomplished yesterday.

That’s what we’ve been up to, how about you guys?