Jesus Christ banned from Belchertown Public Library.

No, I’m not making this up. There really is a place named Belchertown and apparently the library there hates Jesus Christ:

The Sept. 8 order issued by the Library Board of Trustees warns Jesus Christ will be subject to criminal charges if he appears in the library again.

Jesus Christ said Tuesday he has contacted a lawyer and is planning to sue the public library for discrimination.

Interviewed in his apartment, which is less than a half-mile away from the town library, Jesus Christ said that all he can conclude is he is being targeted by the library because of who he is.

“I’m black, I’m transsexual and my name is Lord Jesus Christ,” he said.

Do they have a picture of Jesus Christ? You damn well better believe they do:

Pic of Lord Jesus Christ III

It's certainly a new look for the Lord and Saviour.

So just what did Jesus do to get himself banned?

He said Jesus is always asking staff at the desk and other patrons for tissues, pencils or other things.

“Often times he would try to put himself in the personal space of others,” he said.

If someone was at the desk talking to the librarian, Jesus Christ would cut in front of the person and begin asking the librarian questions, Maloney said.

“He was very rude,” Maloney said.

Maloney said he talked to Jesus Christ several times about his manners, and he would be fine for a day or two and then it would start all over again.

“We did the best we could. The library is not a place we want to kick people out of,” he said.

Asked how many people have been banned in his 21 years as director, Maloney said “Lord Jesus Christ is the first – and I suppose I’m going to burn in hell because of it.”

Indeed you are, Maloney. Indeed you are.

The magic of Internet access at Public Libraries.

So here I am once again facing a fair amount of downtime at work, but with just enough open tickets that I can’t venture too far from the campus lest I get called back. Fortunately there’s a rather nice public library just across the street that provides free Internet access without any content filters. So not only can I post to my blog, but I can also see it and leave a comment or two. My sister often makes use of her public library to check in on her blog so it occurred to me I could do the same.

Of course there’s always the danger that someone has installed a key logger on the system so I’m making use of my handy U3 enabled Sandisk Cruzer flash drive which not only has Firefox as a self-contained installation holding all my bookmarks and temporary files, but comes with the U3 edition of Avast Antivirus specifically designed to offer on the go protection. The library has done a pretty good job of locking down the system, though, as the start menu has been removed completely and icons placed on the desktop in order to allow the launching of applications. They’ve also disabled the right-click context menus in Windows XP for some reason which makes using the spell checker in Firefox impossible, but at least I can still see that I’ve typed a word incorrectly.

Naturally just as soon as I got settled here and started in on this fluff entry about how I’m braving the world of Public Library Internet access my cellphone rings and they have a ticket they need me to check up on. So it looks like my time here will be rather short as I need to finish up and head back over to the campus to see if the build team has managed to get their collective heads out of their collective asses and figured out how to do their job properly.

But at least I know I have a resource available to make use of from time to time.