Friends help you move. Real friends grant your request for them to shoot you.

Pic of hurr dog.They say curiosity killed the cat and it’s true that too much inquisitiveness can be deadly, or at least very very painful. One young man with more curiosity than common sense decided he wanted to know what it felt like to be shot with a gun.

So he pestered his best friend until the friend finally complied:

Cops: NY man shoots friend in leg at his request – Yahoo! News.

State police in St. Lawrence County say the shooting occurred around 5 p.m. Sunday in the rural town of Stockholm when 25-year-old Shawn Mossow of neighboring Norfolk relented to his friend’s repeated requests and shot him once in the right leg with a .22-caliber rifle.

Normally I’m all about encouraging a healthy sense of curiosity, but the key word is “healthy”. There are some things in life that you probably don’t really need to experience if you can at all avoid it and being shot with a gun is one of those things. I can tell you what it feels like even though I’ve never been shot myself:

It really hurts. Even worse than that time you stubbed your pinkie toe in the dark while trying to walk from your bedroom to the bathroom with a massive hangover and ended up pissing all over yourself and the floor while screaming obscenities that would make a sailor blush. It’s the kind of pain that you really don’t want to know first hand. Or so I’ve been told because, as I said, I’ve never actually been shot myself.

Turns out all’s well that ends well. The shootee is in the hospital expected to make a full recovery and the shooter is in jail for reckless endangerment and hoping that the shootee is a good enough friend to loan him the 10K he needs to make bail.

Man threatens host of kid’s birthday party with a gun.

I generally don’t have a problem with gun ownership — most gun owners seem to be responsible and considerate — but this guy isn’t one of those people:

According to a police affidavit, Hayes became upset and began yelling at the victim because “Y’all didn’t save my kids no damn ice cream and cake.”

Hayes then left the party and went to his apartment.

According to the affidavit, he returned with a small black handgun tucked into the back of his pants, approached the host, lifted up his shirt and said, “I ain’t scared to go to jail, just take care of my kids.”

via Man brings gun to South Memphis birthday party after his kids don’t get any cake » Knoxville News Sentinel.

It’s probably a good thing he wasn’t “scared to go to jail” because that’s where he ended up after the host called the police on his stupid ass. I suppose I can understand feeling slighted that your kids were snubbed (intentionally or not), but this is hardly the appropriate response to the problem.

Of course, given the exemplary diction the accused displayed, I suppose it’s not surprising that it was the only response he could come up with. Next time lay off the crystal meth and learn how to express yourself in a less jail-worthy fashion, eh?

Four-year-old boy given shotgun shell to play with shoots his mother.

Sometimes you have to wonder how we’ve survived this long as a species:

Four-Year-Old Boy Shoots Mother With Shotgun – Seattle News – The Daily Weekly.

A 23-year-old Kitsap woman was taken to the hospital yesterday with non-life-threatening injuries after her four-year-old son shot her in the side with a semiautomatic shotgun.

The woman told detectives that she didn’t hear the boy loading the weapon because she had her back turned and was talking on the phone. She also said she had no idea how he got access to the shotgun. But she does know how he got the cartridge.

According to the Kitsap County police, the boy’s father had given him the cartridge earlier after the child had shown an interest in firearms. (Well, duh.) Apparently the gift did not also include a stern warning about how he shouldn’t use it to shoot his mother.

Which just proves God doesn’t exist. If there were a God the kid would’ve shot the Dad instead for being dumb enough to give a 4-year-old a shotgun shell and easy access to the weapon.

Kid suspended for drawing a laser gun.

It used to be you had to bring an actual gun to school in order to be suspended for it. These days all you have to do is draw something that looks like it could be a gun and the chances are good your school will suspend you:

“I just can’t believe that there wasn’t another way to resolve this,” said Paula Mosteller, the boy’s mother. “He’s so upset. The school made him feel like he committed a crime. They are doing more damage than good.”

The Mostellers said the drawing did not show blood, bullets, injuries, or target any human. They said it was just a drawing that resembled a gun.

But Payne Junior High administrators thought the sketch was enough of a threat and gave the boy a five-day suspension, later reduced to three days.

Chandler district spokesman Terry Locke said the sketch was “absolutely considered a threat,” and threatening words or pictures are punishable.

This is just idiotic. You want to know just how idiotic it is? Listen to the school administrator’s justification for their actions:

Ben Mosteller said that when he came to the school to discuss his son’s punishment, school officials mentioned the seriousness of the issue and talked about the massacre at Colorado’s Columbine High School – the site where two teenagers shot and killed 12 students and injured 24 others in 1999.

Last I checked the assholes who shot up Columbine used real guns, not drawings of guns. Let’s try using a little common sense here, folks. How can you expect to teach kids how to think when you refuse to do it yourselves?