Pope calls euthanasia a “false solution.”

The Pope don’t like the idea of you cheating God out of the enjoyment of watching you go through the slow, painful death God has planned for you by having someone euthanasize you:

VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI said Sunday that euthanasia is a “false solution” to suffering, adding his voice to a bitter debate in Italy over the fate of a comatose woman whose father wants to remove her feeding tube.

Actually it’s a pretty real solution. Suffering before death, then you die, no longer suffering. Problem solved.

During his Sunday blessing, Benedict said that love can help confront pain and that “no tear, from those who suffer and those who are with them, is lost before God.”

God collects your sweet, sweet tears because He can’t get enough of how good they taste! He’s particularly fond of adding carbonation and cola flavoring to make his own Tears of the Suffering Soda! It gives you divine appeal!

That’s like sex appeal, but holier.