Apparently I’m an “expert” on the topic of Hangnails.

Got the following bit of spam today:

From: Some Dumb Spammer
Subject: What are Hangnails?

Dear Sir/Madam,

[Dumbass Website Removed] is a popular question answer website. Some of our users asked the above question, and we think you are the domain expert who can provide a great answer to it. Can you help to answer the question or improve the current answer at the following link?

[Dumbass Website Link Removed]

Everyone has unique expertise. [Dumbass Website] is the place to share your wisdom, build your networks, and market yourself!

[Dumbass Website] Team

Who’d have thought that I would ever be consulted for my expertise on an issue of such critical importance as hangnails? It’s the moment I was born for! Let me rush off right now and answer whatever pressing question is at that site! Who knows? SOMEONE’S VERY LIFE COULD HANG IN THE BALANCE!

Spammers need a lesson in basic logic.

I don’t tend to get a lot of spam at work, but every so often one or two bits will get through the filters and catch my eye. Today I got one with the following subject line:

With all your faults she loves you still, cause you use right antiEDs.

It took me a moment to realize they’re selling some sort of erectile dysfunction product, probably a sham herbal supplement, as the choice of the word “antiEDs” had me wondering what Ed had done to have people selling products to get rid of him. Then I was caught by how it made no sense whatsoever: With all my faults she loves me still, cause I use the right antiEDs.

The first problem is that I don’t currently use antiEDs. In fact my sex drive is healthy enough that there are probably days my wife wishes I’d buy some proEDs instead. Then there’s the whole “cause you use the right antiEDs” bit. That doesn’t make any sense at all because if I’m using the right ones already then I obviously don’t need the ones these assholes are trying to sell me. Clearly they think I’m using the wrong ones because they’re contacting me about their product, but they want to appeal to my ego by telling me I’m smartly using the right ones even though that clearly makes their offer of an alternative pointless. Then there’s that whole “she loves you despite you being a total fuck up because at least you have a hard dick” thing which reduces me to being an otherwise total loser and her to being a shallow bitch who’s just happy to be getting boned regularly. I can see the girl talk already:

Girl #1: Why do you stay with your man? He can’t hold a job, he’s always getting arrested, and his B.O. strips the varnish off old furniture at 40 yards!

Girl #2: That’s all true, but he always gets a hard on when it counts! And you know its good to find a hard man.

Sarah Palin’s Yahoo! email account has been hacked by Anonymous.

It’s bad enough that Sarah Palin is using a private Yahoo! email account to conduct state business to circumvent public records laws, but she also apparently chooses some pretty easy to guess passwords. The group calling itself “Anonymous” managed to hack her email account:

The internet griefers known as Anonymous took credit for the intrusion, and screenshots of e-mail messages and photos belonging to the Alaska governor have been published by WikiLeaks. Threat Level has confirmed the authenticity of at least one of the e-mails.

The cache of stolen data contains five screenshots from Palin’s account, including the text of an e-mail exchange with Alaska Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell about his campaign for Congress.

Another screenshot shows Palin’s inbox and a third shows the text of an e-mail from Amy McCorkell, whom Palin appointed to the Governor’s Advisory Board on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse in 2007.

The e-mail, a message of support to Palin, tells her not to let negative press get to her and asks Palin to pray for McCorkell, who writes that “I need strength to 1. keep employment, 2. not have to choose.”

The Republican Party hasn’t responded to a call for comment, but McCorkell, reached at her office, confirmed that she did send the e-mail to Palin.

Good to know state secrets will be in such good hands if she becomes VP, eh?

SEB Mailbag: Conversations with a Dumbass - Teslar Watch edition.

Got the following email last night in regards to the entry I wrote awhile back about the captastic Teslar watch:

From: Allan “Sid” Sidney – Lensminder@msn.com
Subject: Teslar watch

Hello,
Just a note from someone who has one and likes it.  I bought the watch for the esthetic reasons and because it is somewhat of a status symbol. I work hard for my money and I can afford to have a thousand dollar watch on my wrist and I don’t care if you don’t like it.
If it happens to have other benefits besides correct time all the better? You spend your extra money on a website,  I spend mine on watches.
I love this country
Adios

Here’s the reply I sent back:

    Allan,

    I give a fuck if you like the watch. Whether or not you feel the watch is worth the money doesn’t change the fact that the claims of the company are complete bullshit. When you have something substantial to offer in the way of a discussion then feel free to contact me again, but personal opinions on the watch are irrelevant to the point of my entry.

    Though this will make a great new post in my “Discussions with a Dumbass” series. Thanks for sending it along.

    Les

The last day at the old job.

It’s funny how the last day on a job you’re about to resign from ends up being somewhat bittersweet even if the job wasn’t all that great to begin with. At least it seems that way if you’ve got a halfway decent working relationship with your coworkers, which I somehow managed to develop in the almost year that I was there. Most of the team joined me for a farewell lunch today at a local Hooters and we had a good time making jokes and eating food for a bit longer than the standard lunch hour. It’s not that I’ll miss the job itself, but the people I worked with who were a good bunch overall. At the same time I’m still excited about the potential the new job holds and look forward to heading in on Monday afternoon. But for now I’m going to relax and enjoy the weekend.

A small bit of irony arrived in my inbox a couple of hours after I got home from work. The company I was contracted to was Hewlett Packard—via a Massachusetts based contract house named TCML, a company I don’t recommend—and I think I mentioned awhile back that they had announced they would be direct hiring some of the team. I put in an application and ended up not being chosen to join HP, which was fine because the new job came along right about the time they decided not to hire me. I’ve known for a week or so that I didn’t make the grade so it was with some amusement that I received an email from HP today saying:

Dear Les,

Thank you for applying for the position of Field Support Engineer, requisition # 206136. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that we will not be pursuing your application on this occasion.

I had to laugh cause I already knew this. It seemed a silly bit of redundancy considering that I’ve known about it for awhile now and had just quit to go to a different job. Though I suppose it’s nice to get official confirmation of my not getting hired in at HP.

SEB Mailbag: Clueless idiots want me to put them on my blogroll.

I suppose it’s a sign that SEB is at least somewhat popular that I regularly get emails from people who want me to add their website to the SEB blogroll. Usually these come in a form email that suggest that if I link to SomeObscureSiteDesperateForPageRank.com they’ll put SEB in their blog roll too and I’ll see tons of additional traffic as a result. These emails are almost always word-for-word identical to each other with the only difference being the name of the desperate for page rank site begging for links. The other day I got a new one that seemed, well, different:

From: tiffy.hamilton@gmail.com
Subject: Blogroll

Dear webmaster,

My name is Tiffany Hamilton, and I am contacting you regarding your Blogroll section located at https://stupidevilbastard.com/.

I’m working in association with [DesperateForPageRank Website], I have been tasked with promoting their Website, which can be found at [DesperateForPageRank.com].

It’s a comprehensive resource center featuring information and reviews on the most recent technology trends and gadgets.

I can be reached via email at Tiffy.Hamilton@gmail.com, or, if you’d like to talk about this by phone, my direct number is [redacted].

Best regards,

Tiffany Hamilton
AIM // Geeky Tiffy

That’s it. No promises of reciprocal links. No suggestions that the arrangement might be mutually beneficial. Not even a direct request for me to add them to the blogroll, just an implication that I should. I thought this was very odd and unusual so I did something I don’t normally do. I wrote a reply:

    You don’t specifically say what it is you want to talk to me about. Presumably you want me to add [DesperateForPageRank.com] to my blogroll in hopes of increasing the page rank for that site. Oddly enough you don’t try to suggest there’s any benefit to me for helping you to promote [DesperateForPageRank.com]. Most other such emails at least suggest they want to trade links even though they’d never actually put a link back to my blog on their site. You seem to think that just suggesting you’d like me to add your link will be all the motivation I’d need.

    In short, you need to work on your sales pitch a bit.

    Les

I didn’t expect a reply, but today I got one:

Dear Les,

Thank you for the response. Unfortunately I don’t have the ability to alter code to the site. Thank you for considering the site!

Best regards,

Tiffany Hamilton
AIM // Geeky Tiffy

I actually laughed out loud at this. My policy for the blogroll is very simple: If I read a site regularly and it has an RSS feed then it goes in my blogroll. I’m not asking for reciprocal links or cash for placement in my blogroll—though I doubt I’d turn either one of them down if proffered—I just ask that your site be interesting enough for me to want to read it. The traffic increase you’d likely get from SEB is nothing compared to some blogs out there anyway so it’s not like I’m trying to horde my little fiefdom on the net. If you’ve got a cool site I’ll probably blogroll it, but the approve approach isn’t the way to get me interested.

Try something more like:

Hey Les!

We dropped by SEB and noticed your a big fan of movies/gadgets/video games. It just so happens we’ve got a website devoted to that topic that we think you might enjoy reading. Check it out and drop us a note telling us what you think as we’d love to get some feedback.

And thanks for your time!

Sincerely,

Some Random Website Trying To Get Eyeballs

No promises of link exchanges and no groveling to be added to the blogroll are needed. Do you know why they aren’t needed? Because bloggers tend to blog about shit they like and if I like your shit I’m likely to at least blog about it and if I really like it, and you have an RSS feed, you’ll end up in the blogroll. Better yet if I don’t like it I probably won’t end up blogging about what a clueless twit you are for sending out a ham-handed email pitch. 

SEB Mailbag: Second take on the FBI Nigerian email scam.

Today I received a second variation on the we’re-the-FBI-trying-to-help-you-get-money-for-free email scam. It seems the FBI is a popular organization with the scammers these days. Again I have to note with some amusement that the director of the FBI uses a YahooUK email address. This one takes a much more direct, threatening, and long-winded approach:

From: “Robert S. Mueller, III” (fbioffice88@yahoo.co.uk)
Subject: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
Website: http://www.fbi.gov
DATE: 03/14/2008

ATTENTION FUND BENEFICIARY,

  THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ADVICE FROM THE FBI FOREIGN REMITTANCE/TELEGRAPHIC DEPT., IT HAS COME TO OUR NOTICE THAT THE C.B.N BANK
NIGERIA DISTRICT HAS RELEASED 10,500,000.00 U.S DOLLARS INTO BANK OF AMERICA IN YOUR NAME AS THE BENEFICIARY, BY INHERITANCE MEANS.

  THE C.B.N BANK NIGERIA KNOWING FULLY WELL THAT THEY DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH FACILITIES TO EFFECT THIS PAYMENT FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM TO YOUR ACCOUNT, USED WHAT WE KNOW AS A SECRET DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT PAYMENT S.T.D.P TO PAY THIS FUND THROUGH WIRE TRANSFER,THEY USED THIS MEANS TO COMPLETE THE PAYMENT.

  THEY ARE STILL, WAITING FOR CONFIRMATION FROM YOU ON THE ALREADY TRANSFERRED FUNDS WHICH WAS MADE IN DIRECT TRANSFER SO THAT THEY CAN DO FINAL CREDITING TO YOUR ACCOUNT. SECRET DIPLOMATIC PAYMENTS ARE NOT MADE UNLESS THE FUNDS ARE RELATED TO TERRORIST ACTIVITIES WHY MUST YOUR PAYMENT BE MADE IN SECRET TRANSFER , IF YOUR TRANSACTION IS LEGITIMATE,IF YOU ARE NOT A TERRORIST, THEN WHY DID YOU NOT RECEIVE THE MONEY DIRECTLY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT,THIS IS A PURE CODED ,MEANS OF PAYMENT?

  RECORDS WHICH WE HAVE HAD WITH THIS METHOD OF PAYMENT IN THE PAST HAS ALWAYS BEEN RELATED TO TERRORIST ACTS, WE DO NOT WANT YOU TO GET INTO TROUBLE AS SOON AS THESE FUNDS REFLECT IN YOUR ACCOUNT IN THE U.S.A, SO IT IS OUR DUTY AS A WORD WIDE COMMISSION TO CORRECT THIS LITTLE PROBLEM BEFORE THIS FUND WILL BE CREDITED INTO YOUR PERSONAL ACCOUNT.

    DUE TO THE INCREASED DIFFICULTY AND UNNECESSARY SCRUTINY BY THE AMERICAN AUTHORITIES WHEN FUNDS COME FROM OUTSIDE OF EUROPE, AND THE MIDDLE EAST, THE F.B.I BANK COMMISSION FOR EUROPE HAS STOPPED THE TRANSFER ON ITS WAY TO DELIVER PAYMENT OF $10,500,000.00 TO DEBIT YOUR RESERVE ACCOUNT AND PAY YOU THROUGH A SECURED DIPLOMATIC TRANSIT ACCOUNT (S.D.T.A). WE GOVERN AND OVERSEES FUNDS TRANSFER FOR THE WORLD BANK AND THE REST OF THE WORLD.

    WE ADVICE YOU CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY,AS THE FUNDS HAVE BEEN STOPPED AND ARE BEING HELD IN OUR CUSTODY ,UNTIL YOU CAN BE ABLE TO PROVIDE US WITH A DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY SEAL OF TRANSFER(DIST) WITHING 3 DAYS FROM THE WORLD LOCAL BANK THAT AUTHORIZE THE TRANSFER FROM WHERE THE FUNDS WAS TRANSFERRED FROM TO CERTIFY THAT THE FUNDS THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE FROM NIGERIA ARE ANTITERRORIST/DRUG FREE OR WE SHALL HAVE CAUSE TO CROSS AND IMPOUND THE PAYMENT,WE SHALL RELEASE THE FUNDS IMMEEDIATELY WE RECEIVE THIS LEGAL DOCUMENTS .
————————————————————————————————————————
  We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the amount involve,we want to make sure is a clean and legal money you are about to receive. Be informed that the fund are now in United State in your name , but right now we have ask the bank not to release the fund to anybody that comes to them , unless we ask them to do so, because we have to carry out our investigations first before releasing the fund to you. Note that the fund is in the BANK OF AMERICA right now, but we have ask them not to credit the fund to you yet, because we need a solid proof and verifications from you before releasing the funds.

  So to this regards you are to re-assure and proof to us that what you are about to receive is a clean money by sending to us FBI Identification Record and also Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) to satisfy to us that the money your about to receive is legitimate and real money. You are to forward the documents to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you don?t have it let us know so that we will direct and inform you where to obtain the document and send to us so that we will ask the bank holding the funds the Bank Of America to go ahead Crediting your account immediately.

  This Documents are to be issued to you from the World Local Bank that Authorized the transfer, so get back to us immediately if you don?t have the document so that we will inform you the particular place to obtain the document in United Kingdom U.K, because we have come to realize that the fund was Authorized by H.S.B.C Bank in London.

  An FBI Identification Record and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment, naturalization, or military service.

THESE CONDITION IS VALID UNTIL 18TH OF MARCH 2008 AFTER WE SHALL TAKE ACTIONS ON CANCELLING THE PAYMENT AND THEN CHARGE YOU FOR ILLEGALLY MOVING FUNDS OUT OF NIGERIA .

GURANTEE: FUNDS WILL BE RELEASED ON CONFIRMATION OF THE DOCUMENT.

————————————————————————————————————————————
FINAL INSTRUCTION:

60F CREDIT PAYMENT INSTRUCTION: IRREVOCABLE CREDIT GUARANTEE
61E BENEFICIARY HAS FULL POWER WHEN VALIDATION IS CLEARED
62 BENNEFICIARIES BANK IN U.S.A., CAN ONLY RELEASE FUNDS-
62 UPON CONFIRMATION FROM THE WORLD BANK/UNITED NATIONS.
64 BEARERS MUST CLEAR BANK PROTOCOL AND VALIDATION REQUEST
————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for the enhancement of public safety, welfare and security of Society while recognizing the importance of individual privacy rights.. If you fail to provide the Documents to us, we will charge you with the FBI and take our proper action against you for not proofing to us the legitimate of the fund you are about to receive.

The United States Department of Justice Order 556-73 establishes rules and regulations for the subject of an FBI Identification Record to obtain a copy of his or her own Record for review. The FBI Criminal Justice Information Services (CJIS) Division processes these requests to check illegal activities in U.S.A.

  An individual may request a copy of his or her own FBI Identification Record for personal review or to challenge information on the Record. Other reasons an individual may request a copy of his or her own Identification Record may include international adoption or to satisfy a requirement to live or work in a foreign country or receive funds from another country (i.e., Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer, letter of good conduct, criminal history background, etc.)

                              FBI Director
                          Robert S. Mueller, III

That’s some funny shit right there. Still I have to wonder how many people fall for it. Probably more than I’d think.

SEB Mailbag: Interesting twist on the old Nigerian Email Scam.

The two email addresses I have through my websites, one associated with the SEB domain and one with Jenkins Online, attract a lot of spam and scam email every day. The ubiquitous Nigerian scam in all it’s myriad forms shows up almost daily and often on both email accounts within moments of each other, but today I got a new one I’ve never seen before. It purports to be from the FBI offering to help me to secure my inheritance from someone somewhere in Africa:

From: “FBI” (jschening@fulbright.com)
Subject: INHERITANCE CLAIM ADVICE FROM FBI

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI. WASHINGTON DC.

FBI SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET

Dear Beneficiary,

During our recent investigations we found out that your inheritance transaction which originated from African is real and we advice that you go ahead by providing us with the required information so that we can work between you and Africa to make sure that as an American citizen that your entitlement is released to you without further delay.

Why we must be involved directly is that since the transaction is real, we must not allow the fraudulent activities of the African officials to affect you, so we are going to monitor all the procedures to the end and we will always advice you accordingly as we will not allow you to deal with the African offices directly. Every information that they need to pass across to you must be first received by the FBI before reaching you. This is to make sure that you do not loose a dollar carelessly.
You have to stop further dealings with any other office outside our office.

Fund Release Application Form

Reconfirm Your Information:
Name: ______________________________________________________________________

Marital Status: ____________________________________________________

Occupation: ______________________________________________________

MailingAddress: _________________________________________________________
___________________________

City: ________________________________________State:
______________________________Zip: ____________

Phone: __________________________Fax: ____________________________

Email:________________________________

Cell Phone: __________________________

By providing these information means that you have agreed to meet up all the required obligations as will be directed by the FBI concerning your fund transfer.

Long live America, long live her citizens.

ROBERT MUELLER

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI

Aside from the simple fact that the email address associated with this email doesn’t even come from a known FBI domain name — which would most likely be fbi.gov — the fact that whoever wrote it has a shaky grasp of English grammar is probably a big warning flag that this isn’t legit.

What I found fascinating is how it appears they’re trying to hustle someone else’s hustle. Consider that it assumes you’ve already received an email claiming you’re due an inheritance from someone in Africa and here the FBI is now telling you it’s not a scam at all, but you must let the FBI handle the transaction for you. In short they’re trying to steal someone else’s scam by convincing you to deal with them instead of the original scammers.

The actual routine will be the same. They’ll try to weasel as much personal information out of you that they can perhaps in hopes of getting hold of a bank account number or credit card or some other means of stealing your ID and, failing at that, they’ll tell you to send them money to cover various legal costs involved in getting the transaction completed and they’ll milk you for as long as they can.

Some of you people out there will actually be stupid enough to fall for it too because you lack the critical thinking skills that should have red flags popping up all over the landscape as soon as you saw the email.

SEB Mailbag: Easily impressed idiots.

Time for another attempt at debate from the True Believers™. Got this in my inbox this morning:

From: Kevin Roelofse
Subject: wow

Hey
U sound so brave and sure of yourself…your 40years of age…wow…christians cannot prove God’s existence…those to claim that are unwise..but evolutionary’s can’t Prove evolution…evolutionary’s say in the beginning there was a big bang..well where the the matter come frm to cause the big bang..no proof to substantiate their claims..where is God,prove He exists no can do…but one way or another each of them including ur professed confession of atheist is something you believe by faith…so in our search for meaing and existence don’t jump to assumptions and make decisions based upon silly info…me of 25 years old can figure that out i figured you cud aswell..
Kevin

As you can imagine I was immediately swayed by the powerful and well thought-out arguments Kevin made in his email and I’ve since converted to a True Believer myself. Now I just have to pick which God belief to put my faith in. Oh hell, I’ll cover my ass completely and adopt them all. It’s a Christmas miracle!

SEB Mailbag: Random religious rantings.

Woke up this morning to an inbox full of crazy, but not your normal garden variety crazy. No I’m talking seriously stupid bullshit crazy. Here’s the opening of the email:

From: G SIMS gilsims2@msn.com
Subject: RE: RELIGIOUS TRUTH VS. POLITICAL “CORRECTNESS”
To: A lot of poor bastards including me.

PART I. JESUS CHRIST BIRTH ON EARTH.

HI, I’M ~ANGELGIL~, I JUST READ YOU RECIENT ARTICLE ON THE WEB, ABOUT THE
“VIRGIN” WHOM HAD “JESUS CHRIST” (THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD AND THE MORMON TABLETS, FROM WHICH “THE BOOK OF MORMON” WAS TRANSULATED BY “THE GIFT AND POWER OF GOD”.

Now with an opening like that you just know the rest is going to be a hard lesson in mental pain so I’ll save the rest for after the jump. It appears to be some sort of rant about Mormonism and homosexuality. To say the author is homophobic would be an understatement. Read on if you’re curious, but remember what happened to the cat.

My reply was short and brief. I wrote: “Please, it’s entirely too early in the morning to be getting this kind of stupid crazy in my inbox.”

IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND HOW JESUS CHRIST CAME ABOUT, YOU MUST KNOW HOW
“OUR HEAVENLY PARENTS CAME ABOUT”.

FIRST POINT: ALL THINGS HAVE ALWAYS EXISTED, IN SOME FORM OR ANOTHER,
INCLUDING YOU, ME, AND GOD.

SECOND POINT: ALL THE ELEMENTS HAVE ALWAYS EXISTED.

THIRD POINT: THE LAWS TO ACT ON THE ELEMENTS HAVE ALWAYS EXISTED, INCLUDING THE “HOLY LAWS” THAT THE “FUTURE GOD’S AND ANGELS” WILL ACT UPON.

FOURTH POINT: SOME WHERE, WAY BACK IN TIME, THERE WAS A “VERY INTELLIGENT BEING” (FILLED WITH “LIGHT”, “TRUTH” AND “PURENESS”).

FIFTH POINT: THE MOST INTELLIGENT BEING, LEARNED HOW TO ACT ON BOTH THE “TEMPORAL” AND “HOLY LAWS” TO BECOME “A GOD” (A GLORIFIED MALE).

SIXTH POINT: THEN, GOD LARNED HOW TO CREATE (GATHER OTHER INTELLIGENTS AND ELEMENTS AND LAWS) AND PRODUCED A “HEAVENLY WIFE”.

SEVENTH POINT: THEN GOD AND HIS ETERNAL COMPANION (FEMALE) CREATED “SPIRIT CHILDREN” THE “FIRST BORN” WAS CALLED “JESUS CHRIST” WHOM SHALT HAVE THE CALLING OF BEING A “PRE-ORDAINED” “SAVIOR” OF FUTURE MAN KIND. HE WILL ALSO, “CREATE WORLDS”, FOR THE WHICH HIS “HEAVENLY PARENTS” WILL “POPULATE” THEM,
BY SENDING HIS OTHER SPIRIT CHILDREN, INTO BODIES TO INHABIT THOSE WORLDS. THE WILL LEARN TO LIVE BY FAITH, HOPEFULLY TOLEARN HOW TO RETURN TO THEIR GOD
AND BE GIVEN THE GIFT OF “ETERNAL LIFE” AND DO THE SAME THINGS THAT
THEIR HEAVENLY PARENT HAVE DONE.

EIGHT POINT: SOME WHERE DOWN IN TIME TOWARD US A “SET OF HEAVENLY PARENTS” HAD SPIRIT CHILDREN (WHOM HAD THE LIGHT, TRUTH, PURENESS OF INTELLIGENCE).
THEIR “FIRST BORN” WAS NAMED “JESUS CHRIST”, AND THAT THE WAY IT’S ALWAYS BEEN AND WILL ALWAYS BE.
THIS JESUS CHRIST, HAVING A SPECIFIED AMOUNT OF THE POWERS OF GODLINESS, THEN GATHERED THE ELEMENTS AND CREATED THE HEAVENS AND OUR EARTH.

NINTH POINT: OUR SPECIFIC HEAVENLY PARENTS CREATED THE FIRST INHABITANTS OF THIS EARTH. THEIR NAMES WERE “ADAM” AND “EVE” (THE MOTHER OF ALL LIVING). THE HAD PHYSICAL BODIES, THAT WERE “IMORTAL” AND “INNOCENT”.

TENTH POINT: GOD, OUR HEAVENLY PARENTS, HAD PLANTED A GARDEN CALLED “EDEN”. IT WAS LOCATED IN AMERICA NEAR “SPRING HILL”, MISSOURI, IN THE VALLY OF “ADAM ONDI AHMAN”,AND PLACED ADAM AND EVE THERE, TO TEND THE GARDEN. GOD ALSO HAD “MARRIED ADAM AND EVE” AND COMANDED THEN TO “MULTIPLE AND REPLINISH” THE EARTH (PROVIDE CHILDREN FOR THIS EARTH).

ELEVENTH POINT: A LITTLE BACK TRACKING. WHEN WE MEN WERE “SPIRIT CHILDREN” WE HAD A MEETING AT “THE GRAND COUNCIL”, ON THE LARGEST PLANET, CALLED KOLOB, IN OUR UNIVERSE, NEIGH UNTO GOD’S “CELESTIAL KINGDOM”, THIS PLANET KOLOB WAS SO HUGH THAT “ONE DAY OF “ROTATION” WAS “1,000 OF OUR EARTH’S YEARS. US MEN WERE ORDAINED AT THE GRAND COUNCIL WITH “THE POWER OF THE HOLY PRIESTHOOD”, BY THE GOD-“JESUS CHRIST”. WE THEN, HAD SOME OF THE “POWERS OF GODLINESS”. AT THIS “GRAND COUNCIL WE HAD THE RESPONSIBILITY AND OBLIGATION “TO VOTE ON THE PROPOSED LAWS OF GOD”, IN WHICH OUR EARTH, OUR “FUTURE HOME”, WAS TO BE GOVERNED.

TWELTH POINT: AT THE “GRAND COUNCIL” ON KOLOB, THE LAW OF “FREE AGENCY” WAS TABLED, THEN A “VOTE OF CONFIRMATION” WAS CALLED. “ALL VOTED “YEA” BUT “LUCIFER”, THE “SON OF THE MORNING”, “THE LIGHT BEARER” HAD NOT VOTED ON THE “LAW OF AGENCY” FOR TO INCLUDE HIS FOLLOWERS, WHOM WERE 1/3 RD OF HEAVEN, (2/3RDS OF THE MALES IN HEAVEN). BECAUSE OF “HIS REBELLION”, HE AND THAT 1/3RD OF HEAVEN-THE 2/3RDS OF THE MALES WERE “ESCORTED OUR OF HEAVEN” BY THE MORE RIGHTEOUS”, LUCIFER HAVING “LOST HIS PRIESTHOOD CALLINGS” WERE “HELPLESS TO RESIST”. THEY WERE PLACED INTO PERDITION, BECAUSE THOSE FEMALES IN HEAVEN “WEPT OVER THEM” BECAUSE OF THEIR LOSS STATE. NOW, LUCIFER, NOW, CALLED “SATAN”, WAS ONLY A “FORMER SPIRIT CHILD OF GOD”, AND WILL NEVER GAIN A
“PHYSICAL BODY”, LIKE WE NOW HAVE.

THIRTEENTH POINT: NOW, BACK INTO THE “GARDEN OF EDEN” WITH ADAM AND EVE. GOD EXPLAINED THAT THEY COULD EAT OF THE FRUIT OF ANY TREE IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN. BUT THE “FRUIT” OF THE TREE OF “THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL”. “THOU SHALT
NOT EAT, FOR IN THE “DAY” THAT THOU EATETH, THOU SHALT SURELY DIE”. (NOW, SINCE NOTHING COULD DIE IN THE GARDEN OF EDEN, DEATH WAS NOT VISUALIZED VERY WELL,
BY ADAM AND EVE.) NOW, GUESS WHAT ? “SATAN” CAME UPON THE SCENE AND “SPOKE THROUGH THE BODY OF A FORM OF CATTLE”, AND TEMPTED ADAM, TO “EAT OF THE FRUIT OF THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL”. NOW, ADAM WOULD “NOT DISOBEY OUR HEAVENLY FATHER”, SO HE TURNED DOWN SATAN. SATAN BEING “SLIGH” WENT TO EVE, AND TEMPED HER WITH THE “DELICIOUS LOOKING FRUIT”, AND POINTED OUT THAT SHE WOULD HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE GODS”. SO SHE ATE IT. SATAN WAS HOPING THAT EVE WOULD BE KICKED OUT RIGHT AWAY, THEN ADAM AND HER COULD NOT “MULRIPLE
AND REPLINISH THE EARTH WITH GOD’S CHILDREN, FOILING GOD’S PLAN. BUT EVE WAS
ALL EXCITED, BECAUSE SHE NOW, KNEW HOW TO HAVE CHILDREN, BEING NOT INNOCENT ANY MORE, SO SHE TOLD ADAM, AND HE ATE THE FRUIT BECAUSE HE LOVED HIS WIFE EVE, AND DIDN’T WANT HER TO BE KICKED OF THE GARDEN OF EDEN AND LEAVING HIM ALONE. NOW HE KNEW HOW TO HAVE CHIDREN, SO WHEN GOD HASD CAST THEM OUT OF THE GARDEN OF EDEN, TO BECOME A “GARDNER” AND “RAISE ANIMALS TO EAT”, THAT WAS OK. PLUS HE “CONCIEVED ALIVE” CHILDFEN WITH HIS BELOVED WIFE, EVE WHOM HAD JOY WHEN SHE GAVE BIRTH, TOMHER CHILDREN AND REALIZED IT WAS THE BETTER THING TO DO, FOR TO HAVE CHILDREN.

FOURTHTH POINT: FOR NOW, WE’LL SKIP THE “CAIN MURDER” TO GET ABLES SHEEP BY USING HIS NEW GAINED KNOWLEDGE OF “KNOWING ABLE” (HAVING GAY SEX).WE’LL SKIP THE PERIOD OF THE “PATRIARCHS”, AND WHY CAIN’S SEEDS WERE CURSED WITH A
“BLACK SKIN”, AND OF “NOAH’S FLOOD” AND “MOSES’” TRIP UP ON THE MOUNTAIN, WHEN HE HAD OBTAINED THE “LAWS AND ORDIANCES OF THE “MELCHIZEDEK PRIRSTHOOD”, ON THE “FIRST SET OF STONE TABLETS”, BUT “BROKE THEM” WHEN HE SAW THE CHIDREN HAVING A “DRUNKEN ORGIE” WITH “STRANGE FLESH” AROUND A “GOLDEN CALF”, THEN LATER WENT UP THE MOUNTAIN AND THEN, HAD GOTTEN THE “LESSOR LAW OF THE “10 COMMENDMENTS”, ON “THE SECOND SET OF STONE TABLETS”. WE’LL NOW JUMP AHEAD
TO JERUSALEM.

FIFTEENTH POINT: IN LOCATION AROUND JERSULEM, MARY WAS “FAVORED BY GOD”, BECAUSE SHE WAS “A GOOD GIRL”, AND THE “FAIREST IN THE LAND”. SHECWAS 13 YARS OLD AND NEVER HAD A “PERIOD”. AN ANGEL OF GOD TOLD HER SHE WEAS GOING TO HAVE GOD’S CHILD, AND HIS NAME WOULD BE CALLED “JESUS”. SO HEAVENLY FATHER HAD THE “HOLY GHOST” “OVER-SHADOW” MARY, SO WHEN HE “CONCIEVED ALIVE” BABY JESUS WITH MOTHER MARY, HIS GLORY WOULD NOT CONSUME MARY. HEAVENLY FATHER HAD CONCIEVED WITH MARY’S FIRST SEED THAT HAD DROPPED DOWN. NOW, SHE WAS A
“VIRGIN” BEFORE CONCEPTION, BUT WHEN JESUS WAS BORN, SHE WAS NOT. MOTHER
MARY HAD TWO OTHER CHIDREN WITH HER HUSBAND JOSEPH, THEY
WERE JAMES AND JOHN, WHOM BECAME TWO OF JESUS DECIPLES. THE “IMACULATE CONCEPTION” THANG WAS A “CATHOLIC DOGMA”, AND WAS “NOT” TRUE.

PART II. THE “MORMON PLATES” WERE SIMPLY AN “ABRIDGEMENT” OF ANCIENT RECORDS FROM 600 A.D. JERSULEM TO 421 A.D. IN CENTRAL AMERICA, BY THE “PROPHET MORMON”. THE “ORIGINAL RECORDS” WERE WRITTEN FROM RIGHT TO LEFT, THE FIRST PAGE OF THE “GOLDEN PLATES” RECORD WAS IN THE BACK AND WRITTEN TO THE FRONT “PLATES OF GOLD”. THE ANCIENT RECORDS WERE WRITTEN IN “REFORMEND EGYPTIAN”, “HEBREW”, “CALDEAN”, ETC. THE “GOLDEN PLATES” WERE THE ABRIDGEMENT OF “THE HOLIER
THINGS OF GOD”. THEY WERE “SACRED”, AND AS SUCH CANNOT BE SHOWN TO “EVIL”
“SIGN SEEKERS” PEOPLE. WHAT’S THE POINT. EVIL PEOPLE WOULD NOT BE THE LEAST INTEREST IN THE “PURE WORD OF GOD”, BUT TO SELL THE GOLD TO HAVE IT MELTED
DOWM SO THAT THEY CAN LIVE A MORE “RIOTEST LIFE STYLE”:  DRUGS, SEX, DRUNKENNESS, ,“STRANGE FLESH SEX PERVERSION”, RAPES, MURDERS, STEALING, ETC. THE “ANGEL MORONI” HAS THE “GOLDEN PLATES”, TODAY. SO IF YOU WANT TO LEARN AND LIVE THE “FULNESS OF THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST”, OBTAIN A COPY AT

, OR YOU STAY IGNORANT, AND PREHAPS GO TO

“HELL”, YOUR OTHER “INTELLECTUAL SCHOLERS FRIENDS” WILL BE THERE, IM SURE.


PART III. “STRANGE FLESH SYNDROME”. THESE ARE THEY THAT “SUCK OUT BODY FLIUDS OF THE SAME SEX AND “CHEW OF FILTHY BODY PARTS”, EVEN

“EATING FECAL MATTER”

, CALLNG IT “LOVE”. NO,  IT’S “LUST”AND “MIND CONTROLLING” “SEX SLAVES”. IT’S THE
LIFE STYLE THAT GOT “SODUM AND GAMORAH” “NUKED BY GOD”. SAN FRANCISCO, WHOM HASD 200,000 IN THEIR “GAY PRIDE PARADE”, TWO YEARS AGO, WILL BE “DROWNED BY
THE SEA”, AFTER “FOUR MAJOR EARTH QUAKES” TAKE IT OUT. THERE WILL BE FALLING BUILDINGS, FIRES, SCREEMING, BEFORE THEY DROWN. (I’VE HAD “VISIONS AND DREAMS”
ON THIS. IT WILL TAKE PLACE BETWEEN “JUNE 3RD AND JUNE 7TH”. I CAN’T TELL YOU WHICH YEAR, YET.  DENVER WILL BECOME “VACANT” IN LESS 30 YEARS” (TWO YEARS AGO, THEIR “GAY PRIDE PARADE HAD 140,000 IN IT. WASHINGTON, D.C. IS THE “NEW BABYLON”.

1. NOW, HERE IS THE VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH THE “FEARFUL CONFUSED GENDER POSSESSED” LIFE STYLES.  OF THE YOUTH THAT ARE “AGRESSIVELY RECRUITED”, BY
THE “FEARFUL CONFUSED GENDER POSSESSED”, THE “ATTEMPTED SUICIDE” RATE IS
“30 TIMES MORE”, THAN AMONG “STRAIGHT YOUTH”.

2. IN THE STATE OF UTAH, AS BY PERSONAL INVESTAGATION, AS A “MENTAL HEALTH”
AND “LEGAL ENTITY” I HAD DISCOVERED THAT THE “MINOR YOUTH SCHOOLS” IN UTAH
ARE “CRAWLING” WITH “FEARFUL CONFUSED GENGER POSSESSED”-“LESBIAN”
TEACHERS AND STAFF! THE BOTTOM LINE IS “THE VICTIMS WILL NOT BECOME MOTHERS”!
SO WHEN THERE WILL COME A TIME THAT “CHILDREN STOP BEING BORN” IN THIS WORLD THEN, THE EARTH, BEING IT’S NOT FULLFILLING IT’S MEASURE OF CREATION, TO BRING FORTH CHILDEN UNTO GOD, THE EARTH SHALT BECOME

“BURNDT TOAST”.

SEE: “ELIAJAH 4:5-6” VERSE 6 SHOWS YOU THE “CURSE” FOR “NOT BEING “STRAIGHT FAMILIES”.

3. NOW, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT THE “FEARFUL CONFUSED GENDER POSSESED”
“PLAGUE”??? HOW ABOUT WHEN THE “LESBISN” TEACHERS GET “CAUGHT” DOING THE “NASTY” TO “FEMALE STUDENTS”, THAT THEY BE TREATED AS “TERRORIST” AND SENT TO
AN “EXILED ISLAND”, FOR LIFE! OR, THEY CAN JUST BE PUT IN PRISON FOR LIFE, HAVING THEIR “SEXUAL NERVES “CUT”, AND GIVEN “FEMALE HORMONE BLOOD LEVEL” CHECKS “WEEKLY”, AND IF THEY ARE TESTED “POSSITIVE” INFLICT “CORPEL PUNISHMENT” ON
THEM. OR, JUST “SHOOT THEM ON THE SPOT” FOR THEIR “CRIMES AGAINST HUNMANITY”.
WHAT THINK YE?____________________________________________________________________________
OH, AND DON’T FORGET TO REWARD THE “FINK” FOR TURNING IN THE “VERMIN”, SAY, ABOUT $10,000 TO $20,000, HUH? SO, YOU THINK THIS IS KIND OF HARSH?

WELL, WAIT ‘TILL THE “FEARFUL CONFUSED GENDER POSSESSED” “AGGRESSIVELY RECRUITS” YOUR DAUGHTERS, AND THEY COMMITS SUICIDES, WILL YOU THINK, FEEL AND ACT ANY DIFERENTLY??? THERE IS A “MUCH BETTER PROGRAM” FOR TO HANDLE IT ALL.

SEE: http://WWW.ANGELGILS-INSTANT-HEALINGS.COM, LEARN AND TEACH OTHERS HOW TO “RAPIDLY”  IMPOVE THEIR LIVES, SO THAT “STRANGE FLESH SYNDROME” JUST “GOES AWAY”. GOOD BLESS YOU. LOVE. ~ANGELGIL~

OH, I ALMOST FORGOT THE “POLITICAL CORRECTNESS” THANG. IT’S SIMPLY A “CLEVER WAY TO “LIE”, NEAR “RE-ELECTION TIME.

OH, YOU’LL LOVE THIS GEM: “GEORGE H.W. BUSH” IS ACTUALLY “GEORGE H. SCHERFF, JR.”, BORN IN EUROPE, SERVED IN THE “NAZI” “SS”! AND HE KILLED “NIKOLA TESLA” IN 1942!
SEE: From the April 2007 Idaho Observer.

AMEN. ~ANGELGIL~

I attempted to recreate the look and feel of the original email, but I gave up about two-thirds of the way through because the stupid was burning my eyes.