Happy Easter Eve 2016!

pagansexdaySo it’s been a while since I last updated. I keep starting entries and then scrapping them as they’re not turning out the way I feel they should. So for now I’ll wish you a Happy Easter a day early.

Being an atheist, I don’t go in for the usual celebrations, but I did do the whole Easter Bunny thing as a kid with all the egg hunts and criminal amounts of candy that it entails. I don’t have as many fond memories of Easter as I do Christmas probably because I did attend church as a kid and the fun only lasted until you headed to church to hear about how a dead palestinian jew supposedly came back to life for like the four millionth time. It’s kinda like how they can’t do a Batman movie without showing his parents being murdered every single time. The pagan aspects of the holiday are pretty fun though and I’m happy to have a four day weekend.

So if you celebrate Easter in whatever fashion you might choose, here’s hoping you have a happy one that finds you safe, healthy, and surrounded by those you love.

Happy Easter 2009!

Whether the day represents the holiest of holy days for you or just a good excuse to bite the ears off of chocolate bunnies—which should ALWAYS BE SOLID—here’s hoping you have a safe and relaxing day.

We’re going to spend it at home doing nothing much at all. Maybe go out for dinner. Nothing fancy. It’ll be a lazy day for us, but then Sundays often are.

People get their panties in a twist over atheist billboard.

The True Believers™ down in Florida are suffering fainting spells over a billboard ad that declares all religions to be fairy tales:

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla.—It looked harmless enough, but the words on a billboard unnerved so many people that a popular restaurant nearby actually lost business. The billboard was on Colonial Drive near Old Cheney Highway.

Although the popular Straub’s Seafood restaurant often advertises on it, it wasn’t their billboard. The sign was taken down after Channel 9 started asking questions.

The billboard came down around 4:00 Friday afternoon and nearby business owners are relieved. Straub’s Restaurant can replace the sign with the night’s specials.

At first glance, the sign looked like a children’s cartoon, but the message next to the fairy princess stirred emotions.

“When you condemn all religions and say they are a fairytale, that is wrong,” said Rich Stormes, a nearby business owner.

Oh my goodness! Someone get the smelling salts! I think poor Mr. Stormes is about to have a case of the vapors! Fair warning! I’m including a copy of this terrible abomination immediately below! You may want to have small children and women leave the room before you look at it!

Click to embiggen!

The billboard went up a week before Easter and business at the restaurant went down.

“Easter Sunday is usually a busy good day,” said John Russel, an employee at Straub’s. “Easter Sunday business was down by two-thirds.”

Since the sign is so close, John Russel’s customers thought the restaurant paid for the billboard. To clear any confusion up, Russel put up a sign of his own and called MediaNet, the company who owns the billboard.

“It’s been causing us some problems. I think it’s causing a bit of controversy city-wide. People have been contacting the media,” Russel added.

I can at least sympathize with the business owner here. If folks were misconstruing that it was put up by his business when it wasn’t and business has dropped off since it went up as a result, well, I can’t really fault the guy for being upset about it. Still, I find the whole situation pretty funny.

For their part the company that owns the billboard claims it’s an illegal posting that was put up in the dead of night which is why they took it down. The local business owners don’t really buy that argument, but I suppose it is a possibility that can’t be ruled out short of some group coming forward and claiming they paid for it.

This was sent in by several people over the weekend.

Happy Undead Zombie Jesus day!

This is the day when Undead Zombie Jesus shuffled out of his tomb and started wandering the countryside hiding colorful eggs to lure small children out so he could eat their brains. The children soon became wise to Undead Zombie Jesus’ ways and stopped hunting for the colorful eggs because they were just eggs with pretty paint on them after all. That’s when Undead Zombie Jesus hit upon a foolproof idea and started putting out baskets full of candy and addictive chocolates shaped like whimsical rabbits. This would ensure that he’d have enough young tasty brains to feed on that he only needed to do this once a year, which is a good thing because it’s a lot of work for an Undead Zombie Jesus who doesn’t move as fast as he used to. So now he spends most of the year preparing his baskets of goodies and colorful painted eggs until the wonderful day of feasting arrives!

So have a Happy Undead Zombie Jesus day!

No, I’m not trying to make a particular point. I was just bored with writing Happy Easter for the sixth time since I started this blog.