God calls the Pope. Issues new set of 10 Commandments for car drivers.

Apparently having run out of pedophile priests to shuffle around between parishes, the Vatican released a new set of 10 Commandments for drivers:

The “Drivers’ Ten Commandments,” as listed by the document, are:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

Wow, that’s pretty pathetic. Where’s the THOU SHALL NOT SPEED or the THOU SHALT USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL TO INDICATE LANE CHANGES OR, FOR THAT MATTER, THAT YOU INTEND TO TURN or, even better, the THOU SHALT ALLOW A SAFE DISTANCE BETWEEN YOUR CAR AND THE ONE IN FRONT OF YOU AT HIGH SPEEDS AND IN BAD WEATHER OR SO HELP ME ME I’LL SMITE YOUR DUMB ASS WITH THE BIGGEST BOLT OF LIGHTENING YOU’VE EVER SEEN?

Instead we get a carefully worded attempt to tell others not to drive drunk when it should say THOU SHALL NOT DRIVE DRUNK YOU SELFISH FUCK. The commandments above make God sound like a pussy or something and no one’s going to listen to commandments from a pussy. Useless.