Assuming for a moment that God could vomit

…what would he vomit up? Does God need to eat food? For what reason would God need a gag reflex that could result in his vomiting? Surely he can't get food poisoning. Or is this asshole simply saying that God wants to vomit as a means of expressing how disgusted he is, but can't because he doesn't have a gag reflex or the need to eat? If God is so disgusted by homosexuals why does he keep making them? On top of all of that, how does this asshole know what God wants or is disgusted by? #seb #God #Religion #Assholes

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Santorum Florida Honorary Chair: Gays “Make God Want To Vomit”
The honorary chairman of Rick Santorum’s Florida campaign, Rev. O’Neal Dozier of the Worldwide Christian Center in Pompano Beach, has it in for gays, Mormons and Muslims. Jeb Bush and Charlie Crist already dumped him, but Santorum spoke from his pupit Sunday morning.
After Santorum said his piece at Worldwide Christian Center, Dozier told the Palm Beach Post that Mitt Romney was bound not for the White House, but for hell. “You can look at the June Gallup poll that shows the people have alrea…

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Pastor Mark Driscoll reveals himself to be a douche-bag. Admittedly…

Pastor Mark Driscoll reveals himself to be a douche-bag.

Admittedly, there's a certain amount of schadenfreude in listening to two Christians argue over whose church is better because of the gender of the person leading it, but it's also illustrative of the easily justifiable sexism which the Bible promotes and how some people latch onto that. Some particularly douchey people. #google+ #religion #sexism #assholes

Did Anyone Else Know Pastor Mark Driscoll Was Sexist?

If only every question had that obvious of an answer… Pastor Mark Driscoll , who just wrote a how-not-to book about marriage in which he admits he wouldn’t have married his wife had he known she “sinned” just after high school, just outed himself as even more of a douchebag. During a radio interview with British radio host Justin Brierley , Driscoll got into an argument over whose church was better — the one Driscoll runs or the one run by Brierley’s wife. Chris Massey has the transcript and …

More of that fabled Christian love. It really was…

More of that fabled Christian love.

It really was amazing to see some of the reactions to the death of Christopher Hitchens and the rise of the Twitter hashtag that was the title of one of his best selling books. You have to wonder if these people really think Jesus would approve of their statements. The scary part is that many of them are serious. #google+ #religion #twitter #assholes

Theists Threaten to Kill Atheists, Again.

Earlier this year Blair Scott did an interview on Fox News and it stirred up the religious rage against Atheists. Hateful comments filled the Fox News’ Facebook page. Christians were saying things like, “I hope someone rapes you” and “Atheists are scum, can we start killing them now?” All these threats were in response to Scott questioning the constitutionality of a cross being included at the 9/11 Memorial.
Hatred must lay just beneath the surface for many theists (of which I suspect many ar…

Beware cold calls from people claiming to be from Microsoft about problems with your computer.

I got a fun phone call this evening. The number was blocked and my initial reaction was to not answer it, but my boss is in town and the phones at work don’t always show up properly on my phone’s caller ID so I went against my better judgement and answered it. The man on the other end of the line had a very thick Indian accent and sounded like he was working in a call center. He claimed to be an official Microsoft Technical Support technician and that they had been alerted to problems with my PC that could result in “very bad” crashes that could result in “total loss of all data.”

Naturally I was very concerned about this newly discovered risk and he helpfully offered to show me where on my computer I could see for myself the dozens of error messages they had been receiving through a “web server” (you could almost hear the double quotes in the way he said it). He had me sit down in front of my PC (I was already there) and gave me step-by-step instructions on how to launch the Event Viewer in Windows. Therein he directed me to the Custom Views and Administrative Events log where there were, indeed, dozens and dozens of error messages and warnings including some that were critical! Oh my!

These generic error messages spell my DOOOOOM!

This is why, he explained as though I were a five-year-old, that my computer was at risk and that I had hit the limit which triggered their contacting me. Not to fear, they could assist in fixing the problem! He asked if I had Internet Explorer, I said I do, so he instructed me to go to a webpage where I should download a product called Ammyy Admin 3 (it’s free!) which would allow them to assist me directly.

It was at this point that I informed him that I was a computer technician myself and that I knew there wasn’t anything wrong with my computer and that they weren’t receiving notifications through a “web server” of problems I might be having and… that’s when he hung up on me.

Now it appears that the Ammyy Admin 3 software is a legitimate product used by a number of folks that asshole scammers have latched onto for this cold calling scam because it’s free and allows them to take control of your PC once it’s installed. There’s even a forum thread on their site about this scam. Not to mention that if you Google the URL you were given you find that immediately after the link to the Ammyy software homepage are links to people reporting on this scam. Word has it that if you go along with the scam they’ll show you some more generic error messages in the Event Viewer logs and tell you it’s because your system is infected with a virus and then they’ll take you to a website where they’ll try to get you to buy an anti-virus software package that probably doesn’t do jack shit. The details vary as does the software — this account from another support professional back in 2005 said they used a remote desktop package called Teamviewer — but the scam is the same. Show you some scary looking logs and convince you to buy their bullshit software.

Here’s the thing, at any given point in time the Event Viewer is almost always going to be chock full of error messages. That’s just the nature of the Windows beast. If you’re familiar with the Event Viewer then it’s not too difficult to figure out that most of these aren’t anything to be concerned about, but for the average Jane or Joe it can look pretty alarming. Folks have said that once they take control of your PC they’ll also do stupid things like list the files in your Temp or Prefetch folder and then tell you that those files are the result of spyware or a virus. Again, if you’re not that familiar with how Windows works it could look pretty scary. One red flag that you’re being bullshitted is the fact that they have you download a free third-party Remote Desktop tool. Windows already has a Remote Desktop tool built in along with a Remote Assistance tool which Microsoft would probably make use of if it was really Microsoft. Which it isn’t because Microsoft would never call you for something like this.

As near as I can tell, the scammers aren’t using the opportunity of having full access to your computer to steal your personal information (e.g. documents, credit card numbers, bank passwords, etc.) but I didn’t dig into too many of the websites that are talking about this so I can’t say for sure that they aren’t. Needless to say, once you’ve given them access to your machine you should probably consider it comprised badly enough to back up your data, erase your hard drive, and reinstall everything from scratch. Hopefully you’ll have read this first and will recognize these assholes when they come calling.

Bad: You and your girlfriend are robbed. Worse: Robbers introduce your girlfriend to your wife.

Ha ha!

Talk about adding insult to injury:

The robbers forced the man into a waiting vehicle, and two of the robbers got into the pickup truck with the woman, Miami police said. The masked men used flex cuffs to bind the man’s and the woman’s wrists and drove them to the man’s house on Northwest 14th Street in Miami, according to investigators.

When they arrived at the house, police said they found the man’s wife, his mother and two children in the home.

Police said the robbers tied up the whole family, beat up the man, roughed up his wife and then took jewelry and money from the home. The men took off with thousands of dollars in cash and jewelry, Miami police said.

Before leaving, the robbers brought the man’s girlfriend into the home and introduced her to his wife, according to investigators. The robbers then left them all together in the house and took off.

via Kidnappers Introduce Victim’s Girlfriend To Wife – Miami News Story – WPLG Miami.

While I don’t condone the violence and robbery done to the man, his mistress, and his family, I do have to admit to feeling a certain amount of Schadenfreude over his unfortunate experience.  It’s hard to feel sorry for the guy’s plight given what an asshole he is though it was also a dick move on the part of the robbers to make things even worse for him. I suppose if you’re going to be enough of an asshole to rob and kidnap people to begin with then exposing their infidelity is probably just icing on the cake for you.

Now that I think about it, I just posted an entry about a man being an asshole to his neighbor over his cancer which I guess is an extreme form of Schadenfreude as well. Am I wrong to call that man an asshole for his glee over his neighbor’s misfortune only to laugh at the man in this news item?

 

Man posts sign expressing delight that his neighbor has cancer.

Well that's not very neighborly! Click to embiggen!

I can be an asshole at times just like anyone else, but this is taking assholeishness to a whole other level:

Cranston residents protest sign urging cancer patient to die – Projo 7 to 7 News Blog 

Bob Gold, 55, has been in remission for a year from Hodgkin’s lymphoma, which he has been fighting since February 2009. He said that on Monday, he was in his backyard when he saw a holiday wreath with a red bow on the back window of Jimmis’ garage. A hand-lettered note inside the wreath read: “Glad you have canser (sic). So die stupid.”

It seems that Edward Jimmis, the man who put up the sign, had previously had some sort of disagreements with Bob Gold, his neighbor, that left him with one hell of a grudge. He says in the news item that he “wanted to hit a nerve” and he certainly accomplished that goal as several people showed up to protest outside his house. Gold also called the police about the sign, but Jimmis wasn’t doing anything illegal in posting it so there wasn’t a whole lot they could do. They did show up to ensure that the protest stayed peaceful and commended the folks present for holding the protest.

After a reporter spoke with Jimmis he changed the sign to read “love your neighbor” as some sort of act of contrition:

On Tuesday, Gold, unsatifisfied with the change, called the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and visited the mayor’s office, speaking with Carlos E. Lopez, who handles constituent affairs.

“We can’t legislate being a good neighbor,” Lopez said later in the day. “You want to be able to help, but we have to make sure we respect everyone’s legal rights. … Let’s hope for the better side of humanity to prevail on this.”

Police did send some representatives to talk to both men about sitting down and working out their differences. Jimmis agreed that he was being an asshole in posting the sign and he promised that he wouldn’t post it again. He also agreed to sitting down with officers and Gold to talk things out:

Gold, however, said he wasn’t yet ready to sit down with his neighbor.

Which is a shame because it will justify in his neighbor’s mind that he was right to be an asshole. You go through all that trouble to bring attention to your neighbor’s dickishness and shame him into being contrite and then you refuse to try and work things out? Who’s being the asshole now?

It’s a special kind of asshole who takes up two handicapped parking spaces…

Constable and noted asshat, Joseph Mora.

… when he’s not handicapped himself and then when he’s confronted by an actual handicapped person he flashes a fake badge and assaults the poor guy. The cherry on top of this pile of shit? When said asshole is a constable and a member of the local planning board.

Meet just such an asshole: Jospeh Mora of Fairhaven, Massachusetts.

According to police, the man tried to park his car in one of the handicapped spaces at the Seaport Inn and Marina on Friday night and noticed that Morra’s car was taking up two handicapped parking spaces.

Police said Morra’s car didn’t have a handicapped license plate or a visible placard.

Police said the man began taking pictures of Morra’s car with his cell phone.

According to police, the man said Morra displayed a badge to him and ordered him off the property while uttering expletives.

The man told police that Morra poked him in the chest and sternum several times and then shoved him, nearly knocking him to the ground.

Mora’s been charged with assault and battery on a disabled person, intimidation of a witness, impersonating a police officer and malicious destruction of property valued at over $250 for breaking the disabled man’s cellphone. Also, of being a humongous prick.

I could kind of understand if he was just going to be parked for a couple of minutes and he took up one handicapped spot to do it, but this is going beyond inconsiderate to the land of complete asshattery. Seriously, walk the extra 20 feet or so and stop being such a dickhead.

Statue of Hindu God included in public art project and Christians freak the fuck out.

Ooooo! They are one hot and bothered bunch over in Idaho these days:

COEUR D’ALENE, Idaho — The leader of the Kootenai County Constitution Party says people should be outraged by a statue of a Hindu god that’s now on display on Sherman Avenue in Coeur d’Alene.

via Constitution Party Calls Hindu God “Demon,” Protests Art Display – News Story – KXLY Spokane.

Man, the reaction from the Christian Right assholes sure is different when the shoe is on the other foot, eh? How DARE the government spend taxpayer money displaying a religious icon on public property! This is no more appropriate than installing a Ten Commandments monument would be! Whatever happened to Separation of Church and State?

Except, that’s not why they’re upset about this statue. Here’s their reason taken right from their own website:

Christians of Kootenai County should be dismayed at the appearance of a Hindu demon, Ganesh, statue that is currently found on Sherman ave in Coeur d’Alene. The godless group of individuals that manage the “art” of the city have approved this abomination by Rick Davis to be displayed on Sherman Ave.

See, they think it’s demonic. For the record, Ganesha is “widely revered as the Remover of Obstacles and more generally as Lord of Beginnings and Lord of Obstacles, Vighneshvara, patron of arts and sciences, and the deva of intellect and wisdom.”

That sounds horribly demonic, doesn’t it? There’s not much info on the KCCP website as to why they think it’s demonic, the best I could find was a comment that equates being a “false God” with being demonic, but clearly this has got their panties into a bunch:

Though the protest is not a party function, it’s supported by many party members, who believe only Christianity provides a world view “consistent with the framing of our Republic,” said party Chairman Daniel Brannan.

“Many people in the party would tend to agree with opposing something like this,” said Brannan, who also opposes the sculpture. “It is representative of a false god, of a particular religion other than the one on which our country is so solidly founded.”

It’s the old “America was founded as a CHRISTIAN nation” canard. If it were Christian in nature they wouldn’t have a problem with it. Indeed, the collection includes at a couple of Christian themed works such as a statue of St. Francis of Assisi as well as a Native American Spirit Bear, which for some odd reason isn’t commanding as much ire as poor Ganesha.

Here’s the thing: The city’s ArtCurrents project was setup as a means of bringing art to the city’s downtown area for little cost to the city. Each artwork is on display for a year and then sold off with the city getting a commission from the sale. You can see all of the current artworks, including St. Francis and Ganesha, in this brochure (*PDF). All of the artwork was looked at as being just that: art.

“We’re not looking at it as a religious symbol, we’re just looking at it as a piece of art,” Steve Anthony said.

“There are pieces of art that represent different cultures,” said Mayor Sandi Bloem. “I think that’s totally appropriate.” Bloem invited anyone who has concerns about the sculptures’ subject matter to attend the next Arts Commission meeting.

You’d think the fact that two of the pieces are Christian in their theme would appease these assholes, but apparently not. Instead they opted to whine about, what else, the Ten Commandments:

Brannan said government officials nationwide have been hypocritical about the separation of church and state when it comes to artwork. He said when Christians want to place public artwork depicting, for example, the Ten Commandments, those monuments regularly are turned away, but symbols of other religions are accepted.

There’s a difference here that our friends on the Right aren’t acknowledging. The purpose of the majority of Ten Commandment installations is anything but artistic. And I’d love to hear what other religious symbols are accepted where the TC isn’t. I think they’d be hard pressed to come up with any examples.

It’s certainly not true in the current situation:

He wasn’t speaking of Coeur d’Alene’s Arts Commission, he said, because he knows of no Christian-themed artwork that has been turned away.

Exactly. Which means you really don’t have anything to bitch about. So shut the fuck up.

Hat tip to FreeThunk.

Man threatens host of kid’s birthday party with a gun.

I generally don’t have a problem with gun ownership — most gun owners seem to be responsible and considerate — but this guy isn’t one of those people:

According to a police affidavit, Hayes became upset and began yelling at the victim because “Y’all didn’t save my kids no damn ice cream and cake.”

Hayes then left the party and went to his apartment.

According to the affidavit, he returned with a small black handgun tucked into the back of his pants, approached the host, lifted up his shirt and said, “I ain’t scared to go to jail, just take care of my kids.”

via Man brings gun to South Memphis birthday party after his kids don’t get any cake » Knoxville News Sentinel.

It’s probably a good thing he wasn’t “scared to go to jail” because that’s where he ended up after the host called the police on his stupid ass. I suppose I can understand feeling slighted that your kids were snubbed (intentionally or not), but this is hardly the appropriate response to the problem.

Of course, given the exemplary diction the accused displayed, I suppose it’s not surprising that it was the only response he could come up with. Next time lay off the crystal meth and learn how to express yourself in a less jail-worthy fashion, eh?

Because that’s what Jesus would do, right?

Feel the Christian love:

[blackbirdpie url=”https://twitter.com/#!/Walken4GOP/status/66439611425107968″]

That’s your typical GOP supporter these days. Wishing for the gold old days when they could just kill you.