Here’s a big surprise: Serbian video of dead “alien” is a hoax.

Over the weekend one of my relatives asked me if I had seen that Russian dead alien video that’s been racking up hits on YouTube. I replied that I had not. Then they asked me if I thought it was a fake. Absolutely, I said.

But how can you be so sure when you haven’t seen the video, they asked. Because it would take more than a video clip by some random yahoo on the Internet to convince me, I said. At which point the conversation got into whether or not I think life exists elsewhere in the Universe (I do) and if so then why can’t they have visited us (because I understand the problems of travel between star systems and while life may be abundant, sentient life may be less so). So on and so forth.

And it turns out I was right:

A video of what was claimed to be a mutilated alien corpse, which scored hundreds of thousands of views on YouTube, has turned out to be fake.

The tiny “dead alien” is just skin from chicken filled with bread, reports the website 7d.org.ua. Police questioned the men who claimed to have found the “body” and they allegedly confessed to creating it themselves.

It’s amazing how quickly some hoaxers will fess up when they think they’re about to be charged with a crime”

The chief editor of the local Kabansk-Info newspaper initially thought that it was the body of an infant in the video and alerted the police.  Officers immediately started the investigation and identified the alleged author.

They went to his house and asked him about the infant’s body.  The scared man reportedly showed a fake alien corpse.  It was even painted in “alien colors”.  Scolding is the only possible punishment for such a stunt as it cannot be considered a crime, the report says.

Yes, even in Russia, stupidity still isn’t a crime.

How’s this for a really weird dream?

During the 2008 Presidential campaigns, before either candidate has picked a running mate, aliens land in Washington D.C. and I’m one of the only people on the planet that can understand what they’re saying. They look like nothing more than a bad Doctor Who special effect in that they are bright globes of white light, but they start handing out Ancient Wisdom like how to cure the common cold and how to resolve the Israeli/Palestinian conflict in a just and fair manner that actually works and everyone is happy with. Because I’m the only American out of the three people who can understand what the aliens are saying I’m drafted by the government to be an official liaison for the United States. After some initial suspicion the aliens are quickly accepted as being almost Oracle-like because of the usefulness of the Ancient Wisdom they are handing out and it’s not long before every pronouncement they make, which is once or twice every other week or so, is a major news event.

The one thing that isn’t clear is what they want from us and it’s a question I’m repeatedly asked to raise. Then one day they finally get around to stating what they’d like to receive in exchange for all these useful bits of knowledge they’ve been handing out. It turns out they’ve been reading my blog for awhile and they want me to be Vice President of the United States. They don’t say why they want me to be Vice President as opposed to President nor do they say why they think I’d be good in the role. It’s not entirely clear that they’re not making the request for the humor potential alone, but Barack Obama quickly decides to announce that he’d be happy to have me as his running mate. This is a pretty bold move on Obama’s part considering I’m openly atheist and have written a lot of stuff on my blog which would, under normal circumstances, pretty much make me unelectable. The Republicans wouldn’t even entertain the idea given my liberal/atheist/heathenism and this doesn’t improve their prospects among any of the populace outside of the paranoid faction that thinks the aliens are planning to cook us all for dinner any day now in spite of the fact that they don’t have any discernible mouths or need to eat.

So in addition to my job as U.S. Liaison to the Glowing Blobs of Light I end up also running for Vice President alongside Barack Obama and, despite my unelectability, we win. The aliens take this as a sign of excellent reasoning on the part of Americans and decide to stick around dispensing more Ancient Wisdom because they get a kick out of watching Whoopi on The View. The only other request the aliens make is for a 105” LCD HDTV and free cable TV. And that’s when I wake up.

So seen any aliens or UFOs yet today?

Remember back at the end of September when I wrote about the mediums predicting aliens would land in Alabama today and help us “break away from the dark forces? Well the day is half over and I haven’t heard anything on the news yet. Man I hope they don’t stand us up like the last few times they told various psychics they were coming.

So far there’s no update on “Blossom Goodchild’s” blog other than a post on the 12th where she said she was going to remove all the negative comments from her site:

To remove (when time allows) all comments that do not come from LIGHT and LOVE. Which is what my blog is SUPPOSED to be about. Sadly, it has turned into a space that is packed full of religious arguments, deeply offensive swearing, bible fanatics claiming me to be the devil and much much more. I give thanks to those who are coming from the place in their heart that spreads only kindness and understanding.

TRULY guys … I had manifested a beautiful world to live in surrounded by those who come only from LOVE in their heart. My soul has been battered and bruised to find hatred and malice inside the hearts of so many. And to those who feel the need to go on and on arguing and sending such negativity to the world I have this to say in all LOVE … … get yourselves a life! A life that makes YOU happy what ever form that may take for CLEARLY, many of you are deeply wounded and hurt.

She’s gotta be taking it from both barrels with not only skeptics giving her a hard time, but the Bible fanatics at is as well. Still I’ll be interested to see what she has to say about the (lack of) events today when she finally gets around to writing about it. Meanwhile it’s hard to say whether or not Mike Quinsey has written anything new as the website he posts to is pretty much impossible to navigate. 

Still I suppose it’s possible that aliens could land before the day is out so keep an eye out. That goes double for all you folks in Alabama.

 

Mediums predict aliens will arrive on October 14th, 2008.

Get ready ‘cause E.T. has left home and is headed straight to Earth to save us from ourselves. Or so say a couple of whackjobs mediums:

The mediums, Blossom Goodchild, an Australian actress, author and direct-voice medium, and Mike Quinsey, a well-known United States-based medium [SEB Ed. Note: I’ve never heard of this yahoo], say they have been contacted by the galactic Federation of Light who have made it known that they will park their massive space ship over Alabama “in the south of your hemisphere” on October 14, and will remain there for three days.

Uh, does Australia have an Alabama? Because the one here in America isn’t in the southern hemisphere.

The visitation to humans has been brought forward from the initially planned End of Days in 2012 because of the damage being caused to the planet by man and the fact that “dark forces” remain in charge.

The most recent message was channelled to Mike Quinsey this week from SaLuSa of Sirius on behalf of the federation, which warned that it would not be long before people would get a clear indication of where humanity was going.

“There are events that are approaching manifestation that will be the precursor of greater happenings… You are being helped to break away from the iron grip of the dark forces, and this is vital if you are to tread a different path that shall allow you full expression in the Light,” part of the message said.

SaLuSa continued that soon there would be “irrefutable proof” that we are not alone in this universe and that extraterrestrial craft were no strangers to the planet.

“What will be different is that the event of October 14 will happen in such a way that it will be undeniable and will open the door to first contact,” the being apparently told Quinsey, who was also informed that without the help of extraterrestrials, man would have been unable to progress as far.

It always amuses me how much people deluded by beliefs in UFOs sound so much like people deluded by beliefs in God(s). Take any religious nutter’s prediction of Jesus’ return to free us from the grip of Satan and replace the words Jesus and Satan with Aliens and Dark Forces and you’ll be surprised at how well it still works. The reverse often works just a swell as illustrated below:

The [return to Earth] has been brought forward from the initially planned [Apocalypse] because of the damage being caused to the planet by man and the fact that [agents of Satan] remain in charge.

The most recent message was channelled to Mike Quinsey this week from [Jesus of Nazareth] on behalf of [God], which warned that it would not be long before people would get a clear indication of where humanity was going.

“There are events that are approaching manifestation that will be the precursor of greater happenings… You are being helped to break away from the iron grip of the [agents of Satan], and this is vital if you are to tread a different path that shall allow you full expression in [God’s] Light,” part of the message said.

[Jesus] continued that soon there would be “irrefutable proof” that we are not alone in this universe and that [angels] were no strangers to the planet.

“What will be different is that the event of October 14 will happen in such a way that it will be undeniable and will open the door to [acceptance of Christ],” the [angel] apparently told Quinsey, who was also informed that without the help of [God], man would have been unable to progress as far.

Kind of eerie, ain’t it? These people have replaced one delusion with another and, much like their religious counterparts, they take the fact that they are ridiculed and mocked for their beliefs as evidence that they are right in their beliefs.

Though I have to give credit to the UFO nutters for saying things even more nonsensical than what most religious folks say. Things like:

[I]n her most recent contacts the beings informed her that they come to “help us and our planet move to a new higher vibration of love”.

A higher vibration of love? What the hell does that even mean? Whatever it means it’s suppose to start with the landing of the aliens on October 14th so be sure to mark your calendars. And if that little taste of insanity wasn’t enough to satiate your curiosity then you can always check out Blossom Goodchild blog and the Geocities-ish nightmare that Mike Quinsey writes on that isn’t quite blog. Fair warning: Mike’s color choices alone can make your eyes bleed.

Hat tip to Hubert Xapier over at Bad Thinking for the link.