A short lesson on getting what you want in 6 pictures.

Our two cats, Cuddles and Jasper, are reluctant housemates. At best they tolerate each other’s company when it’s absolutely necessary. Such as in the morning when breakfast is served in side-by-side dishes or when the sun is shining through the doorwall making for excellent solar recharging opportunities or even when there is a noise outside and the front window is the only good spot to investigate it. Otherwise they don’t like to share things. Cuddles, for example, has laid claim to our king size bed. If he’s on it then Jasper will generally demur and go elsewhere.

The basement tends to be Jasper’s domain and when I’m on the computer he can often be found curled up in the kitty bed sleeping. Cuddles used to dominate my computer time back when we were in the apartment and my setup was in the second bedroom and he often looks put out when he comes downstairs and sees that Jasper has claimed the kitty bed. Every now and then, though, he gets an opportunity to hang out with me and claim the bed for his own. Jasper, being a master of logic and reason, will sometimes have to convince Cuddles that it’s Jasper’s turn to sleep in the kitty bed. Here is how he accomplishes that goal:

First, establish what it is you want.
You may find someone has already laid claim to your objective and may complain that “they were here first.”

Gently explain to them why they should shut the fuck up and get out of your spot.
“Fuck you, I’m not moving.”
Claim victory via calm reasoning and superior argument.
Relax in your newly claimed objective.

There is little need to resort to (much) violence when you have a well-reasoned argument in favor of your position. We could all learn a lesson or two from this.