SEB Pro Tip: If you’re going to rob someone… (#Blogathon)

… don’t have a distinctive tatoo.

It’s an especially bad idea to have it on your face:

TAMPA – It wasn’t particularly hard for the victims of a Riverview home invasion to identify the burglar. He was the only one with an outline of the state of Florida tattooed on his face, authorities say.

In addition to the Florida tattoo, Sean Roberts also has the words “Crazy Cracker” written or tattooed on his head, Hillsborough County sheriff’s spokesman J.D. Callaway said.

The victims identified Roberts via photos, Callaway said.

Perhaps you should reconsider a life in crime there, genius.

New study reveals that Toucan’s bills are used to regulate body temp. (#Blogathon)

The huge and colorful bills of the Toucan bird has long fascinated scientists. It’s the largest bill of any bird and even Charles Darwin pondered it’s function. Now new research suggests the birds use it to regulate their body temperature:

Accounting for 30% to 50% of the body’s surface area and about one-third of its length, the colorful bill has many blood vessels and is not insulated. These factors, contend the authors of a new study, make the beak well-suited to regulate body temperature.

In the study, published in Friday’s issue of the journal Science, researchers placed four adult and two juvenile toucans at separate times in a chamber, changing the air temperature in increments from 50 to 95 degrees Fahrenheit. Infrared thermal imaging technology was used to determine surface temperature of the birds’ bills. By comparing the temperatures of the bill and the chamber, they calculated heat loss from the bill.

The study’s conclusions: As the birds’ surroundings heat up, blood flow increases to their bills. There, heat carried by the blood is radiated into the air, cooling the body. At lower temperatures, blood flow to the bill decreases. Less heat is lost, and the toucan is able to keep warm.

Birds can’t sweat so they have to rely on some other method of heat regulation. Having a bill with a large surface area and lots of blood vessels would allow Toucans to do just that. More research needs to be done to confirm the findings, but it’s possible one of the bigger bird mysteries may finally be solved.

The late night 900 ads are getting braver. (#Blogathon)

It’s 3AM now so just about every other commercial aired is for a so-called party line. You know the ads. Usually the spokesperson is an attractive and overly sexualized young woman in a skimpy outfit who heavily implies that calling the party line is a good way to get laid. At the very least they try to suggest that calling the party line is the most fun you can have with your clothes still on. They’re all so similar that they blend together after awhile so lately they’ve been trying to find ways to differentiate themselves.

Well I just saw an ad for yet another party line that specifically says it’s not for people looking for romance, but who want to get laid. They’re not quite that blunt, but they do use the phrase “You know, friends with benefits? That’s the most direct statement I’ve heard in one of these ads so far. Call there party line, they say, and you’ll find someone to have sex with who doesn’t want a relationship.

What do you think the ratio of men to women is on that party line?

AOTS parody trailer for new “Inspector Gadget” movie. (#Blogathon)

I’m not a big fan on of the G4 network or Attack of the Show, but I was flipping through the channels when they played the following parody trailer and it made me laugh out loud:

It helps that I’m an fan of the old Inspector Gadget cartoons from when they were voiced by Don Adams. The live-action movies starring Mathew Broderick were a major disappointment. What the fuck was up with that talking car? Why they hell did they feel the need to stick that in there? It says something that I find this trailer more amusing than the live-action movies.

Brad Pitt is one of us! (#Blogathon)

In a recent interview Brad Pitt admitted to being Godless:

Brad Pitt was raised as a Southern Baptist, but apparently, his faith didn’t stick.

The 45-year-old actor doesn’t believe in God, he told

“No, no, no!,” he declared, when asked if he believes in a higher power, or if he was spiritual. “I’m probably 20 percent atheist and 80 percent agnostic. I don’t think anyone really knows. You’ll either find out or not when you get there, until then there’s no point thinking about it.”

Which is just wishy-washy way of him saying he’s an atheist. Not that this proves anything at all beyond Pitt being an atheist, but I like his movies and so it’s cool that he’s a heathen.

Trapped in an elevator for 41 hours. (#Blogathon)

The following is a time lapse recording of Nicholas White’s 41 hour ordeal of being trapped in an elevator. The event itself happened in 1999 and the accompanying New Yorker article about it is from April of 2008, but this is the first time I’ve seen it.

I can vividly recall a trip to Chicago with my mother and brother as a child where I ended up momentarily trapped in an elevator. We were at a hotel and my brother and I headed to the elevator while mom was doing something at the front desk. We were standing in the car, me with bags of some sort in my arms and my brother holding the door open button, when my mother called Wes back over to the desk. Before I could follow him out the doors closed and the car started up.

I was under the age of 10 at the time and I can’t clearly recall how many floors the hotel had or which one we were on, but I do clearly recall the sudden panic I was gripped with. I put the bags down and started clawing at the doors and at some point, I think it was five or six floors up, I managed to pry the elevator doors open just prior to it reaching the next floor jamming the elevator into position and necessitating that I crawl up and out into the parking garage. The garage itself was a huge spiral ramp thing and I ended up running all the way down with both of the bags I had with me in my arms (I think they were grocery bags) bawling my eyes out the entire way. At one point a man in a car stopped to ask me if I needed help, but I wasn’t supposed to talk to strangers so I just kept running. It’s was a full on-panic kind of run and is probably why I remember fairly clearly.

The point of all that background is so I can say that I know the sort of panic being trapped in an elevator can cause so I felt a great deal of empathy watching that video. He really was trapped and for a ridiculous amount of time. I can only imagine how memories from my childhood would feed into my own panic if I were in a similar situation. Yikes!

Sometimes you have to spell it out. (#Blogathon)

If we had restroom signs like this in America that whole nonsense with Larry Craig never would’ve happened:

engrish funny dont choking
see more Engrish

Retro Flashback to the 80’s! (#Blogathon)

Well that flashback to the 70’s was so popular that I thought I’d do one for the 80’s. This pic is from a Christmas morning circa 1985 or ‘86. I was probably 17 at the time.

Click to embiggen!

Looking at me now it’s hard to believe I used to be that skinny. And had that much hair. And no beard.

Outrage in New Zealand over risque messages on baby clothes. (#Blogathon)

Child advocates in New Zealand have the diapers all in a bunch over a line of baby clothing with bawdy slogans on them:

The T-shirts and suits are on sale in Australian chain Cotton On Kids’ 17 Kiwi stores and feature slogans including “I’m a tits man”, “The condom broke”, “I’m living proof my mum is easy” and “Mummy likes it on top”.

Those seem pretty funny to me, but then I have a website called Stupid Evil Bastard. So what’s so wrong with those slogans?

National Council of Women of New Zealand president Elizabeth Bang agreed and said the slogans were “awful”.

“We’ve noticed more and more of this and we think it’s time it stopped. There’s quite a lot of research showing the sexualisation of children can be harmful to their mental and physical health.”

Moyna Fletcher, of anti-child abuse trust CPS, said the clothing exploits children for adults’ entertainment.

I’m not sure I buy the whole sexualisation of children argument. Of the four examples I can see the argument, maybe, with the first one, but the rest of them? I’d be more worried about the harm it would due to the self-esteem of the mother than the toddler.

Clinical psychologist April Trenberth, who works with child sex abuse victims, said the range seemed “cute” and “harmless”, but was actually “insidious and dangerous”.

Insidious and dangerous? How? The article doesn’t say. Personally I think it’s a lot of fuss over nothing, but then, as I said, that’s my kind of humor. After all the SEB Store has a “Stupid Evil Bastard In Training” toddler jumper for sale in it.

Retro Flashback to the 70’s! (#Blogathon)

Somehow we got around to discussing the 70’s on the live video feed and I felt compelled to dig out and post the following picture of me, my mother, and sister from some time in the 70’s. Fear the plaid pants:

Click to embiggen, IF YOU DARE!

I’m not sure how old I am in that picture. I’d guess 8 or 9 years. Man I hated those pants.