Browsing through Facebook this morning as I am often wont to do, I came across this meme that left me so outraged that I had to blog about it. The shoddiness of the research is mind blowing and I could not allow this injustice to stand.
Dick is the best they could come up with? I mean, come on, Dick is a literal ghost town. A former lumber settlement that had a postal stop and a railway station and not much of anything else. The post office closed in 1906 and the place has been dead ever since.
What about Climax, Michigan? Now that’s a lewd name. I remember that I was driving along I-96 from Lansing to Detroit to pick up my paycheck — it’s a long story I won’t go into now — and I passed a sign that said, “CLIMAX 1¼ MILES” and all I could think was that at 70 MPH that just wasn’t enough time.
At least Climax is still kicking with a population of around 783 (est.) as of last year. Then there’s Butman, MI, population 1,967. That’s a classic right there.
Ironwood, pop. 4,936, sounds fairly lewd.
Here’s a few more for your consideration: Frankenlust, pop 3,514, sounds like a Mary Shelly porn novel.
Beaver Township, pop. 2,801, BEAVER FREAKIN’ TOWNSHIP! NEED I SAY MORE?
Mount Haley, pop. 1,650, not exactly lewd until you think about it.
Clam Union, pop. 893, CLAM UNION? WHY NOT JUST NAME IT SCISSORS AND BE DONE WITH IT??
None of them, however, can top Felch, Michigan. Population 734. Dick simply cannot compete with Felch for title of most lewd city name in Michigan. You may need to use Google to find out why Felch is such a lewd name, but you may regret doing so. Proceed at your own discretion.
Perhaps the meme maker skipped this obvious choice because they had already included Felchville for the state of Massachusetts, but I still say this is a far better choice than Dick. Dick is so pedestrian and overused that I don’t think it even qualifies as lewd anymore.
Bonus lewd non-city name: One of my favorite highway signs in Michigan is the exit from I-75 to Troy, MI, one of the suburbs of Detroit. I know I’ve mentioned this before on SEB, but this is so perfect that it cannot have been by accident. This had to be planned.
I realize we’re still a couple of months away from the season, but while browsing through memes recently I came across this one:
I recalled having heard something about this previously, but never got around to looking into it. As it turns out, that’s not the only drinking reference removed from the song. Here are the English lyrics as they appeared in in volume 2 of Welsh Melodies in 1862:
Deck the hall with boughs of holly, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! ‘Tis the season to be jolly, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Fill the meadcup, drain the barrel, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Troul the ancient Christmas carol, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
See the flowing bowl before us, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Strike the harp and join the chorus. Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Follow me in merry measure, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! While I sing of beauty’s treasure, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
Fast away the old year passes, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Hail the new, ye lads and lasses! Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Laughing, quaffing all together, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la! Heedless of the wind and weather, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
The version most folks know today is from the December 1877 issue of the Pennsylvania School Journal.
Deck the hall with boughs of holly, ‘Tis the season to be jolly, Don we now our gay apparel, Troll the ancient Christmas carol,
See the blazing yule before us, Strike the harp and join the chorus. Follow me in merry measure, While I tell of Christmas treasure,
Fast away the old year passes, Hail the new, ye lads and lasses! Sing we joyous all together, Heedless of the wind and weather,
Interestingly, the English translation above isn’t a literal one from the original Welsh. Additionally, the tune has been around a lot longer, predating Nos Galan, a traditional Welsh New Year’s Eve carol published in 1794 from which Deck the Halls borrows its melody. According to Wikipedia, the original lyrics in Welsh and English for Nos Galan are as follows:
O mor gynnes mynwes meinwen, fal lal lal lal lal lal lal lal la. O mor fwyn yw llwyn meillionen, fal lal lal lal lal lal lal lal la. O mor felus yw’r cusanau, [instrumental flourish] Gyda serch a mwynion eiriau fal lal lal lal lal lal lal lal la.
Oh! how soft my fair one’s bosom, fal lal lal lal lal lal lal lal la. Oh! how sweet the grove in blossom, fal lal lal lal lal lal lal lal la. Oh! how blessed are the blisses, [instrumental flourish] Words of love, and mutual kisses, fal lal lal lal lal lal lal lal la.
I don’t have point to this other than I find it interesting how far back this song goes and how it’s changed over the years. I tend to double check memes that make factual claims like the one above and this one dropped me into a rabbit hole that seemed like it would make a good blog post.
I’m an O.G. gamer, having cut my teeth on Pong and Breakout and Space Invaders way back in the day. I can remember every major jump in graphics tech and how we thought things couldn’t possibly get any better than they were right then. I remember the brief period where it seemed Laserdisc based games were the future. I remember when CD-ROMs took over from cartridges offering up incredible — for the time — amounts of storage (Final Fantasy VII would not have been possible with cartridges). Then there was the arrival of true 3D rendering and how were they going to top that?
I’ve been a Sony fan since the original PlayStation was released though I almost didn’t buy one. I moved on to gaming on computers after the console market crashed in 1985 and didn’t bother going back when Nintendo and Sega revived it a year or so later. The one exception was my purchase of a Panasonic 3DO in 1993 and that was only because ex-Amiga people were behind its development. Everyone was excited for Sony’s PlayStation arriving in America in 1995 and the word was that if you hadn’t preordered you weren’t going to be able to get one, but I didn’t bother. I happened to walk into the local Babbages the day it was released, and they had a stack of them on hand that weren’t already claimed. I bought one on a whim and have been a fan ever since.
Now the PS5 is looming on the horizon and I’m tingling with anticipation. There will be yet another improvement in graphics with its release, but the real jump in tech will be from its storage technology. The last two generations of consoles have included mechanical hard drives as their main form of storage which, much like CD-ROMs did, allowed for much more capacity as well as giving developers the ability to release updates and new content to a game. Large mechanical drives, though, are terribly slow which could make for long loading times between levels. You can alleviate some of that by putting a Solid-State Drive (SSD) in your console, but it’s not there by default so developers don’t take advantage of it.
The PS5 is including an SSD for the first time, but it’s not an ordinary SSD. It’s a variation on a newer form known as an NVMe drive which offer ridiculous transfer speeds because they bypass the normal drive bus and talk directly to the system bus. I have an NVMe drive in my gaming desktop and it is disgustingly fast. The one in the PS5 reportedly is custom designed to exceed a standard NVMe’s transfer speed and works in conjunction with a custom I/O chip to deliver uncompressed data to other system components at up to 5.5GB/sec. What that means is insanely fast load times and the ability to stream data into a game faster than ever before.
What can you do with that? One of the best examples is the upcoming Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart game:
Now it may not be immediately clear why the new custom NVMe drive in the PS5 is the most important part of the new system, so allow me to elaborate. The game has a portal mechanic like the PC game Portal in those orange things Ratchet is grappling through. No big deal, that sort of tech has been around for a while and we’ve seen stuff like it before. It’s a testament to the power of the PS5 that so much of the geometry is being rendered in the portals as you move through them, but it’s nothing that hasn’t been done before.
It’s the purple portals he falls through that show the power of the new SSD drive. When he’s falling through those, he’s going from one game level to a completely different game level with a different art style and a whole new collection of assets. The game has to load all that in which is why there is about one and a half seconds where he’s drifting “between realities” before the second portal opens and drops him in the new world. The end of the demo does this five times in relatively quick succession and it’s almost seamless. Watch it again:
That’s damned impressive. I’d bet most folks wouldn’t even realize it’s doing so much work in such a short period of time. I’m trying to think of any other video game that has pulled this sort of thing off and I’m coming up empty. This also means things like Fast Travel in open world games should be so brief that there’s little to no time to put up game tips. I’m currently playing through Ghost of Tsushima which has one of the shorter Fast Travel features I’ve seen in an open world game. Especially compared to a title like Red Dead Redemption II which is almost glacial in comparison. I can’t wait to see how that feature will work on games on the PS5.
Above and beyond that, though, is just the shear amount of detailed stuff that’s happening onscreen during this demo. It really is dizzying at times to look at. The previous games in this series were no slouches in terms of on-screen action, but this is just so much… more. More stuff, more detail, more effects. I’m not a huge Ratchet & Clank fan, but I’ll be picking this one up.
My employer is easing back into having folks coming into the office starting this week. We’ve had some people coming in during the entire work-at-home period because when you’re an engineer making brake and suspension systems for cars there’s just some stuff that can’t be done at home, but it’s been maybe a dozen or so folks. However, now there’s enough people showing up that the I.T. department feels some on-site presence by us is warranted. So, for the immediate future, I’m working from home on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and I’ll be in the office for at least a half-day on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My counterpart is in on Mondays and Wednesdays. If things are busy then I’ll stay the whole day, otherwise I head home at lunch and finish out the day remotely. This also gives me an opportunity to work on things that can’t be handled remotely as well such as the new laptop I’m staging for one of the groups this morning. They’ve armed me with Purell, Clorox disinfecting wipes for wiping down equipment that comes in, and rubber gloves so I should be good to go.
The one thing I wasn’t happy about with this is the fact that I’d probably have to shave my beard as the standard face masks don’t work well if you, like me, have a full beard. My mother-in-law made us a bunch of cloth face masks to use, but she had to use rubber hair bands for the ear loops because all the shops were sold out of elastic straps. The face masks are just small enough that the hair bands won’t stay on my ears. My ear folds over under the stress of the bands and off it comes. Additionally, they also wouldn’t work properly unless I shaved my beard.
My cubemate ended up coming to my rescue by not only finding a pattern for a face mask that includes a beard pouch to stuff my beard into, but someone to actually make one for me. Here it is in all its glory:
It’s going to take some practice before I can put it on quickly as I’m still figuring out how to stuff my beard into the pouch. It has some elastic around the top of the pouch to help hold it to my face and that’s a little itchy and I’m not quite able to get ALL of my beard behind it (as you can see) but this covers more than any of the other masks I’ve tried and fits pretty well. It even has a sleeve inside for putting in replaceable filters for some extra protection.
I don’t know the name of my beard savior, but I want to thank them all the same so I’ll make sure to pass it along via my cubemate. I’ll have to take this home every night and wash it, but that’s a small price to pay to keep my beard. If the whole coronavirus thing continues on for as long as some folks are thinking it will then I may have to hunt her down and pay her to make me four or five more. Maybe get some with patterns from Hawaiian shirts on them! Yeah!
Our bathtub backed up again. It’s done this every few months since we moved in. It went longer than usual this time, but finally stopped draining altogether. Normally I can use the plunger on it a few times and get it going again, but not this time.
I pulled out the drain snake I had on hand, took the drain cover off and tried to feed the snake in. It wouldn’t go more than a quarter inch. Doesn’t feel like it’s hitting a clog so much as a wall. Turning the handle does nothing. It’s clearly nowhere near the clog. Huh, maybe it’s too big to get past the mechanism for stopping the drain when you want to bathe? I had a similar problem trying to get it down the bathroom sink drain the last time that one stopped up.
Did some Googling. Turns out that, yeah, this snake is probably too big. What the hell would I know? I work in I.T. for Chrissakes. Out to the local Home Depot I go. Find a flat snake specifically for bathroom sinks and tubs. I also picked up a “Power Plunger” that uses CO2 cartridges to clear clogs because a couple of previous backups earlier using a compressed air plunger was the only thing that would clear it. I’m slightly worried I’m going to blow my pipes apart, but I’ll try the new snake first.
Get home and tried to insert the new, smaller, flatter, snake into the tub drain. Again, barely goes anywhere. Clearly not to a clog of any kind. OK, time to break out the CO2 plunger. Set it up, pressed down, FWOOSH and the drain starts sucking down water like an alcoholic at an open bar. I ran downstairs to see if it was pouring into my basement because, like I said, slightly worried I would blow my pipes apart. I can hear the water flowing through the drainpipes and there are no signs of leakage. Yay me!
As the water clears from the tub, I can see down into the drain and I notice that it doesn’t go down very far at all and I don’t see an S bend like I would expect to. More Googling and I learn that I probably have a trip lever with plunger assembly like the one pictured to the right. Except the shoe on mine (the 90-degree angle pipe directly under the grate) is especially shallow.
Now, I’m no plumber, but it seemed clear to me that even the new snake I had purchased wasn’t going to be much use for this so it’s a good thing I bought the CO2 power plunger. This also explains why it seems to get clogged every 5 to 6 months. The house was built in 1959 and has had more than one renovation done in that time. The main bathroom and the master bedroom’s half-bath sit right next to each other and have a door connecting them. The basement is finished with a drop-down ceiling which makes trying to find the pipes to look at more of a challenge than I’ve been able to motivate myself to undertake.
Still, I’m learning and slowly amassing a set of tools that, one day, might be appropriate to the problem I’m having. As of the first of May I have officially been a homeowner for three years and have, so far, managed to not completely wreck the joint. I’ve not exactly improved it much, but I haven’t wrecked it. It’s a low bar, but one I’m happy to be clearing.
As if to prove that America doesn’t have a lock on Right-Wingers destroying their own property to “own the Libs”, Australia’s own COVIDIOTS have stepped up to “send a message” to the Mainstream Media that they’re not going to take their fake news any longer.
You got it all in this one: The people who smash computer monitors or smartphones instead of their TV because they don’t know the difference, the shotgun to the screen followed by a spear, the kitchen meat tenderizer, a pick axe, various hammers and sledges and so on. I do like how several of them took the time to explain that the TV they were smashing was, indeed, a “tell-a-vision” so we knew that they were smashing a TV because, you know, we might not be smart enough to know what it is just by looking at it. I also found it interesting how many of them sounded like they were reading — badly — from a prepared script and at least one dude showed that he was.
As with past protests by the Right where they destroy expensive stuff such as Nike shoes (over their deal with Colin Kaepernick) and Keurigs (after they pulled ads from Sean Hannity’s FOX show), I fully endorse this and hope they continue. In fact, I hope it spreads (like a virus!) to the COVIDIOTS here in America as maybe it’ll get them away from FOX News for a bit.
This latest bit of Conservative stupidity didn’t go unnoticed on Twitter:
So take heart American Conservatives! You’re not alone in your journey of destroying stuff you paid good money for to own the Libs!
What’s that? No, we’re totally not laughing at you. We know you’re very serious and we would never giggle at you. We all feel horribly “owned” by your actions. Go ahead, do it some more!
Memes are a dangerous business. I’ve gotten into the habit of doing a major shit post on Facebook of memes I’ve come across every few days or so knowing that most of the folks who follow/friend me over there won’t see half of them at first unless they go straight to my profile (which there’s at least a couple folks I’m sure do just that). This way you’ll see “new” stuff from me for a few days to come as I don’t necessarily hangout on FB every day. Plus, I find them to be amusing enough to share.
I have discovered, however, that there is one category of meme that will land you in Facebook Jail — unable to post new content, comment, or even Like other people’s posts and comments — if you dare to post it to your wall. What is this forbidden content? Anything that mocks Nazi Germany. For example, stuff like this:
Clearly this is a meme that mocks Hitler, but within five minutes of sharing it to my wall Facebook popped up a notice that my post had been removed because THIS POST GOES AGAINST OUR COMMUNITY STANDARDS! As punishment I wouldn’t be able to share anything for twenty-four whole hours. Apparently, mocking Hitler in shorts is something Facebook just can’t abide. Facebook’s notification at least made it clear that this decision was made by the algorithm they have in place that scans all content uploaded for objectionable content and they gave me the option to Dispute This Decision which would prompt a human to take a look at it and possibly reverse the strike. I clicked Dispute and was helpfully informed that, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, they were short staffed, and it was possible no one would ever get around to looking at my complaint.
Fine, whatever. I let it go and moved on with my life. That was a few weeks ago. Then, yesterday, I shared this meme which I thought was funny:
I suppose I could see how this one might be construed to be supportive of Nazism, but that’s really stretching it. (See what I did there?) Again, within five minutes Facebook popped up their message about removing the post because how dare I mock Nazis and just for that, young man, you won’t be able to post, like, comment, etcetera. Ah, but since I didn’t learn my lesson last time, THIS time it would be for three whole days! At first, I thought it was just another 24-hour ban. I didn’t find out it was for three days until I absentmindedly tried to like something using the app on my phone and that’s when I found out it was for 3 days.
Which brings up a side point of how differently an experience Facebook is between the web interface and the smartphone app. I do most of my meme shit posting using the web interface as it’s a lot easier to do mass postings with. In fact, most of the time I’m on FB it’s through the web application on my desktop/laptop. I use the app only when I’m away from my other machines (bathroom reading, etc.). One of the reasons why is because when I share news items, I can easily include the original entries’ post instead of having to write something up myself and the smartphone app does not have this option. It’s interesting that the smartphone app does a better job of telling you how long you’re in FB jail than the web interface.
Anyway, I’ve again disputed this ruling and maybe someone will look at it this time since it’s a longer ban, but I’m not holding my breath. I’m not sure if there’s a limit to how many times you can end up in FB jail before they just outright delete your account, but I may find out sooner or later at the rate I’m going. From what I’ve read, FB jail can last up to 21 days so I would guess that the automated bans just keep getting longer and longer.
It is possible to trigger a post removal without a ban too. As I found out when I shared this after Trump suggested people could be injected with disinfectants to “clean” them of COVID-19:
Instantly that triggered a popup that said, “This post goes against our Community Standards on misinformation that can cause physical harm.” and the post was removed, but I wasn’t put in FB jail. Which is interesting because you’ve probably seen this same image all over comments on Facebook.
Apparently, it’s OK to use the image in a comment, but if you try to share it as a post on your wall it’s gonna get yanked. Which seems like a double standard to me especially when FB had absolutely no problem with me sharing this:
Meanwhile, memes I thought for sure were going to get me banned for being too sexualized or offensive like this one:
Or this one:
Or even this:
Surely this will do it:
All appear to be in compliance with Facebook’s Community Standards and are still viewable on my wall. I shit post a lot and this is only a small sampling of the memes of questionable good taste I’ve found too funny not to share. None of the stuff I thought would get me in trouble has been an issue and two memes I thought for sure wouldn’t be a problem absolutely were.
The only conclusion I can reasonably draw from this experience is that Facebook really loves Nazis and considers them a protected class. You mock them at your own peril. Naked angels demanding to have their ass eaten is A-OK, but don’t you ridicule a Nazi. I suppose that’s fair given what happened when Adolf was told he was a shitty painter. Don’t want that sort of thing happening again, eh?
Oh, and if you’re thinking of trying to share this entry on Facebook on my behalf then know this is what you’ll see if you do:
I’ve been meaning to post something for awhile now, but between working from home and the fast pace of news I’ve just not been able to compose my thoughts. So instead I’m doing one of those stupid “How Many X Things Have You X’ed” lists that make the rounds on Facebook. Only I’m doing it here so I’ve at least posted something. Feel free to play along in the comments.
You never realize how much/little TV you watch until you fill this out. Put a ✔ by the shows you have watched more than 10 episodes of. How about you?
1. Grey’s Anatomy: 2. Stranger Things: ✔ 3. The Vampire Diaries: 4. The Walking Dead: 5. Fear The Walking Dead: 6. Dexter: 7. American Horror Story: 8. Orange is the New Black: 9. A Million Little Things: 10. This is Us: 11. The Simpsons: ✔ 12. New Amsterdam: 13. Manifest: 14. How To Get Away With Murder: 15. Breaking Bad: 16. Sons of Anarchy: 17. Scandal: 18. Riverdale: 19. The Good Doctor: 20. House of Cards: 21. Once Upon a Time: 22. House: ✔ 23. True Detective: 24. Dr. Pimple Popper: 25. Power: 26. Empire: 27. One Tree Hill: 28. Supernatural: 29. Family Guy: ✔ 30. Santa Clarita Diet: 31. Shameless: 32. Pretty Little Liars: 33. Secret Life of an American Teenager: 34. Bones: ✔ * 35. Criminal Minds: 36. The 100: 37. Chicago Fire: 38. Chicago Med: 39. The Resident: 40. Game of Thrones: 41. The Big Bang Theory: ✔ 42. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: 43. Lost: 44. The Sopranos: 45. NCIS: ✔ † 46. NCIS Los Angeles: 47. NCIS New Orleans: 48. Law & Order SVU: 49. Gossip Girl: 50. How I Met Your Mother: 51. Blue Bloods: 52. Two Broke Girls: 53. The Office: 54. Blacklist: 55. Full House: 56. Fuller House: 57. Downton Abbey: 58. Hawaii Five-O: 59. Big Mouth: 60. Last Man Standing: 61. Six Feet Under: 62. Wentworth: 63. Friends: 64. That 70s Show: ✔ 65. Girlfriends Guide to Divorce: 66. Heartland: 67. All-American: 68. Greek: 69. Yellowstone: 70. Better Call Saul: 71. You: 72. Rescue Me: 73. Scrubs: 74. Community: 75. Letter kenney : 76. Kitchen nightmares : 77. The Masked singer: 78. Robot Chicken: ✔ 79. Vikings: 80. Mind Hunters: 81. New Girl: 82. The Good Place: ✔ 83. Black Mirror: ✔ 83. Lucifer: ✔ 84. Peaky Blinders: 85. iZombie: 86. Parks and Rec: 87. Brooklyn 99: 88. Handmaid’s Tale: 89. Modern Family: 90. Smallville: 91. Seinfeld: 92. Gilmore Girls: 93. Charmed: ✔ * 94. Private Practice: 95. Lost Girl: 96.True Blood: 97. Roswell: 98. Haven: ✔ 99. Mad Men: 100. Arrow: * Not by choice, but because someone else was watching it and I couldn’t be bothered to find something else to do. † This is the only one of the NCIS shows I could stand.
As you can see, there’s a lot of “popular” television that I largely ignore. Add in shows like Happy! and Doctor Who and then my count would go up. Most of my TV viewing these days consists of movies I missed in the theaters and YouTube channels I’ve subscribed to. After cutting the cord, YouTube has scratched my channel flipping itch by having dozens of different short videos I can go through on all sorts of topics. And, unlike the text that starts this trivial exercise, I’m actually quite aware of how little TV I watch.
How about you? How many shows do you keep track of regularly?