Sterling Heights, MI would really like you to stop calling their new sculpture “The Golden Butthole.”

One county over from where I live here in Southeast Michigan is the city of Sterling Heights. Apparently this past January they completed a sculpture in the median of M59/Hall road near Lakeside Mall to commemorate what they call the “Golden Corridor” because it has a shit ton of businesses along it. The sculpture is of a big golden ring and below is a picture of it.

It’s your typical, innocuous, modern sculpture the likes of which dot various public lands in any number of midwestern cities. So, naturally, someone dubbed it “The Golden Butthole of Macomb County” and set up a Facebook page on its behalf. Much to the annoyance of the city council of Sterling Heights the name has stuck. So they’ve set out to do something about it!

Namely, they’re holding an official Name The Golden Corridor Icon contest on their Facebook page — because the saga of Boaty McBoatface has apparently taught no one anything — and are giving away a crap load of gift cards to local businesses to the winner.

Hey! Have you noticed anything new lately on Hall Road?

Kidding, kidding. Of course you have! And while we prefer to keep things PG around here, we have heard of the golden ring icon’s… unsavory nickname. (Do you all kiss your mom with that mouth?)

The City of Sterling Heights is launching an OFFICIAL NAMING CONTEST for the golden ring icon — and we have some pretty fun incentives for the winners! Businesses along the Golden Corridor have donated more than $1,000 in gift cards to be given away to the winner of the contest! Be a part of history and help us name the golden ring icon. Because, like it or not, this thing ain’t going anywhere, people.

So far it’s not going too well. The majority of comments consist either of people saying it already has a name or that it’s a WASTE OF TAXPAYER MONEY AND YOU SUCK! Or it’s a lot of variations on Golden Butthole such as Gilded Anus and The Golden Cornhole Corridor. One guy by the name of Scott commented “Petition to move the Joe Louis fist to the Golden Butthole”, but someone over on The Golden Butthole of Macomb County Facebook page was way ahead of him with this Photoshop:

Photoshop image by Jeffrey Birkett.

Wonder what it would be like to fly through a Golden Butthole? Dougie Mac has you covered:

The total cost of the sculpture, along with two smaller welcome signs that have small versions of the sculpture, and electrical work for lighting came out to around $442,500. Sterling Heights is the fourth largest city in Michigan so it’s probably not a huge knock to their budget even if some residents think the money would’ve been better spent elsewhere.

To be fair, butthole is not the first thing that came to my mind when I saw it and there are certainly worse pieces of public art to be found in various cities. Canton, which is right next door to where I live in Westland, has tons of sculptures on corners along Ford road all of which I think are probably worth more as scrap metal than as suburban beautification, but I’m not an art critic either. The Mayor of Sterling Heights, Michael Taylor, is hopeful that this rebranding will help draw attention and boost businesses and attract new residents.

At least he’s right about it drawing attention.

17 thoughts on “Sterling Heights, MI would really like you to stop calling their new sculpture “The Golden Butthole.”

  1. Ring Mc Ring face?
    Halo Mc halo face?

    Gold asshole just seems to fit, no matter what else I try

  2. So if someone wants a picture standing by this investment, they will have to play real life Froger to get to. Brilliant spot for a landmark. At least Cornhenge in Columbus has benches, parking, and can be a place to relax. This is bad after worse.

  3. I think this is a total waste of our cities money spent!!! Not to mention it looks ridiculous!! Maybe If there were more pieces added to its surrounding area it wouldn’t look so stupid! But for now I also consider it the golden butthole.. how disappointing :(:(

  4. It should read ‘Sterling Heights OFFICIALS want you to stop calling it The Golden Butthole’, because residents are the ones who named the bloody thing to begin with. So long as they continue to make stupid decisions like this, we the people shall meet them halfway The name has stuck. It’ll stay as it is.
    If they were so concerned with what everyone thought, possibly this should have been up for a vote before installing this absurd waste of time and money.

  5. Holy Schadenfreude, Batman! This article was a great read; the comments on the naming contest announcement post are even better.

  6. I think this is the stupidest thing Sterling Heights has done in a long time. How many accidents will take place when people want to take pictures( I don’t know) who would. It still looks stupid where it is at.

  7. Shelby Money Hole!!! Tax payers hard earn money. As if the road design wasn’t embarrassing enough! THANKS SHELBY

  8. Fix the roads stop wasting money on stupid stuff. Could have used trees and put the rest in to the roads everyone would be happy

  9. As bad as Westland installing those Shop and Dine signs on every corner. Who in the hell thoght that was nessary. I wonder how much was spent on that?

  10. Scott, that’s a fair question and, given that I live in Westland, thought I’d see what I could dig up. I wasn’t able to find any specific numbers for the signs, but it appears that “Shop and Dine” is an annual promotional program Westland does every holiday season. It includes a website (https://shopanddine.cityofwestland.com/) that lists off local businesses, advertising on local TV and radio, and this past season saw a giveaway promotion:

    Also as part of the Shop and Dine Campaign, the City will once again be giving away a free shopping spree to one lucky winner to the Westland Shopping Center. This year’s event will be bigger and better than ever as Westland is partnering with the popular Jay Towers in the Morning to give away a $5,000 shopping spree! Jay Towers, along with the WNIC promo team will be on site giving away additional prizes and doing a live broadcast from the event! Everyone present at the Mall on Saturday, December 15 from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. will have a chance to win the grand prize and there will be additional prizes given away, including the runner up prize of $1,000 to JC Penney!

    I would imagine the signs came out of the same budget as the rest of this yearly promotion. I tried looking it up in the budget for 2017 to 2018, but didn’t see anything on specific programs.

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