I am officially 49 years old today.

Today is my 49th birthday. Not nearly as big a milestone as next year’s birthday will be, but not entirely insignificant. I’m solidly into middle age now and can’t even pretend to be anything remotely close to young except in comparison to those who are significantly older than I am. The nice waitress at the restaurant we went to for dinner tried to claim I didn’t look a day over 35. Yeah, right. We gave her a good tip anyway.

What the hell happened to me?

What the hell happened to me? Click to embiggen.

This is me as of 3 minutes ago.I didn’t use to wear glasses. Then I started to wear them when I needed to read super-fine print. Next I started to wear them when I needed to read text on my computer monitor. Now if I take them off the letters on my keyboard are fuzzy as hell so I wear them most of the time now. These days if I need to read super-fine print I have to take a picture of it with my smartphone and zoom in on it.

There’s a shit load more grey in my beard than I remember there being last week. I have very fine, dirty dishwater blonde hair so it’s harder to notice it on my head when I let it grow out, but damn if it’s not easy to spot in my beard and mustache. I’ve got a good start on wrinkles too. Especially around the eyes. Probably why I can’t read fine print anymore.

Something I’ve noticed that’s a little more concerning has to do with my typing. I find that more and more I’m somehow substituting a word in a sentence with something other than the word I meant to type. Invariably I end up thinking something like “absolutely” and end up typing “abstinence” or some other word instead. I wasn’t even thinking of the word abstinence, but there it is. Sitting in the middle of my sentence causing it to make no goddamned sense.  Usually the wrong word will start with the same letter, but will have absolutely nothing to do with what I was trying to say. I could blame it on autocorrect, but it’s not limited to my phone.

I’m still too fat and I still don’t get enough exercise, but I’m in decent health in spite of those facts. My right knee has been bothering me for the past half-year and I have a standing order from my doctor to get it x-rayed, but I’ve not gotten around to it yet. Think I might do it this Saturday.

Other than dinner out this evening, the day was pretty much like any other day. Went to work, dealt with a few minor irritations, had dinner, came home. Got lots of birthday wishes from friends, family, and coworkers which were all greatly appreciated. All in all, not a bad day to turn 49.

4 thoughts on “I am officially 49 years old today.

  1. Les – you know you’re really getting old when the cashiers start calling you “sweetheart” or “dear” . They must figure you’re too old to be able to react to an endearment there fore you must be “safe”.

  2. Hope you enjoy many more birthdays, and when the holidays arrive and some smartass gives you a Christmas list, give ’em a good evil laugh and ask “And what would Daddy’s little contraception error like this year?”.

  3. John, I usually scare most cashiers into silence by being aggressively outgoing and a little odd. Keeps ’em on their toes.

    Tim, I may be an atheist, but I enjoy the fuck out of the holidays. I’m all for Christmas lists. Makes it easier to get folks something I know they’ll want. I keep my Amazon Wish List up to date all year just in case someone feels like wasting money on me.

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