Kid kicked out of high school and arrested for writing about shooting his neighbor’s pet dinosaur.

OK this is just getting stupid now:

High school student says he was arrested for killing dinosaur in class assignment – NBC12.com – Richmond, VA News

Alex Stone said he and his classmates were told in class to write a few sentences about themselves, and a “status” as if it was a Facebook page.

Stone said in his “status” he wrote a fictional story that involved the words “gun” and “take care of business.”

“I killed my neighbor’s pet dinosaur, and, then, in the next status I said I bought the gun to take care of the business,” Stone said.

Holy Sweet Flying Fuck!I wouldn’t make it through high school these days if this is the norm. As a freshman I once wrote a short story about an unnamed student who might have shot himself in the head in the boy’s bathroom (the ending is somewhat vague) one afternoon because I was bored. It wasn’t even part of an assignment, I just was struck with inspiration and wrote it. Showed it to a couple of friends and it got handed off to a teacher.

Do you know what that teacher did? She encouraged me to submit it along with a couple of other creative efforts I had done to the school district’s creative writing contest. I won a bronze medal for that bit and a gold one for a short reimagining of the fairy tale Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

In my version of the tale, Goldilocks stumbles upon the cabin of the Three U.S. Government workers where she tries all three computer terminals until she finds one that’s “just right” and ends up launching our nuclear payload at Russia setting off WWIII. The story ends with one of the government workers shooting her in the head just as the missiles scream out of their silos. The moral of the story was: “Just because a terminal is just right, doesn’t mean it’s just right. It could be terminal.”

Yeah, I thought that was clever at the ripe old age of 14.

Anyway, I can only imagine the trouble I’d be in if I were in high school and wrote something like that today. It’s bad enough he was suspended for a week, but did he really have to be arrested too?

According to police, when Stone was asked by school officials about the comment written on the assignment, he said it was a joke.

Summerville police officials say Stone was disruptive and was told that he was being detained for disturbing schools.

Stone was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct. District officials say the student has been suspended.

You can be arrested for being disruptive at school? Holy shit! Had this been the practice back in the day I’d have a criminal record a mile long now. Probably be on death row for multiple counts of brutal character assassination* too!

*Get it? Character assassination? Because I killed off a couple of fictional characters? Ha ha! I kill myself!

4 thoughts on “Kid kicked out of high school and arrested for writing about shooting his neighbor’s pet dinosaur.

  1. Oh yeah, I’d never survive in modern high school. Back then, I wrote a long several-hundred-page story about my entire senior class getting lost on a deserted island and being killed off in various and sundry gruesome ways by a mad dog maniac. Not only did my class (and it was a small class, granted) get personally involved in picking how they’d meet their end, the story got passed around the school and the teachers and administrators read it and loved it. In fact, I had people coming to me, arguing that they ought to be the killer in the end and presenting their case. This was in a private religious school too. Maybe we were all crazy back then.

    Today, I’d never make it and I’m glad.

  2. Today authorities error on the side of absurdity. Common sense no longer counts.
    This cover my ass scenario does nothing but prove that people no longer care to be fair about what actions are taken by the average person.

  3. Tolerance has gone out of style, not a good thing for those of us who may be perceived as abrasive by the ‘danes. An example, Norman Spinrad has written a book about a labor organizer in Hell, doesn’t sound substantially different than Niven & Pournelle’s “Inferno” from the mid seventies, don’t know that I’ll ever be able to read it because of the risk-averse nature of contemporary publishing. The new purpose of The United States seems to be The Bad Example and deep belly laugh of the world.

  4. That’s really why self-publishing has become such a big thing, because traditional publishing has become so terrified of printing anything that might possibly offend anyone. Now that anyone can put out anything they want independently, they’re no longer beholden to writing safe centrist crap.

    This is a good thing.

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