OH HOLY HELL! The KNEES! The KNEES are EVERYWHERE!!!

An example of the threat to man's holiness! Just look at it! Being all sexy and shit! Who wouldn't think impure thoughts with that being shoved in their face by those wicked vixens!

An example of the threat to man’s holiness! Just look at it! Being all sexy and shit! Who wouldn’t think impure thoughts with that being shoved in their face by those wicked vixens! Where’s my fainting couch?!?

Pity poor Pastor Martyn Ballestero for he is traumatized on a regular basis. The source of his torture is the scandalous sight of naked knees at church where they tempt the menfolk from the path of righteousness.

They’re Everywhere!! | The Ballestero Blog

They never used to be seen in Pentecostal Churches, but they are now. If they were ever seen in church in the old days, an embarrassed apology was made. But not any more!

Now, they come to many church and do not mind being obvious about showing up. They seem to enjoy the attention they attract, too.

Some of the time they come to church and no one notices them when they walk in, after they finally sit down. Then it’s like, they say Boo! and get your attention. They sure know how to catch folks off guard.

Damn those sneaky knees with their seductive caps baring it all in such a wanton display of lust! And all that noise making with the constant “boo”ing that interrupts my sermons and gives me awkward boners that make the baby Jesus cry!

I remember them never being seen in church anywhere years ago. But now, they’ve evidently got religion and so they come to almost every service.

In the old days, someone would try to help them hide from if they came, and make sure they stayed out of sight, but no effort is being made anymore. They seem to enjoy being seen in church. More and more of the folks are becoming comfortable around them.

[…] It used to be a problem when they showed up anywhere, especially church. But now, they’ve even come to church with some preacher’s wives and daughters. Go figure.

Clearly the solution to this problem is to insist that people leave their knees at home! Or, better yet, people should never acquire knees in the first place. All they ever do is spread temptation everywhere they go. Oh why can’t we go back to Victorian times when knees — and women —  knew their proper place?!?

It’s good to know there are holy men out there who are standing up against the encroaching scourge of uncovered knees. Why just imagine what would happen if we let this slide? Next you know folks will be wearing shirts with sleeves that stop above the elbow! That’s just crazy!

5 thoughts on “OH HOLY HELL! The KNEES! The KNEES are EVERYWHERE!!!

  1. Little Christian Miss Modest, if you do not want to live the Spirit of Jezebel and tempt the menfolk, wear a loose fitting gown, cover your knees, cover your elbows, cover your ankles, cover your wrists, cover your head, cover your face, hide your eyes behind a grid….oh, no: it’s a BURKA!

    But then again: aren’t we all a bit Talibanesque, deep down in our hearts and souls?
    Hallelujah!

  2. Firstly – I’m Christian.
    I firmly believe that if people actually understood some of the things taught in the Bible, they would – actually I don’t know what they would do.

    Read the Song of Solomon (song of songs) – it’s basically a married woman discoursing on her love life. The teacher I had in Bible College, was thoroughly discomfited by the raw sensuality in that book, and any mention of any body part that could be sexualized, would have 2-3 pages skipped in her reading out loud. I tried to call her on it and got a failing grade for my efforts. But – we did get through the book in record time.

    I heard a reputable bible scholar teaching in Genesis – and he demonstrated the response of Adam when God presented Eve to him. And anyone who watched the movie Mask, with the “Wolf” character in the nightclub – gets a fairly accurate description of Adam’s reaction. The puritanical English rendering said something like : ““This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

    It kind of lost something in the translation.

  3. John, it seems to me there’s a lot of things in the Bible people have a poor grasp on — specifically a lot of the teachings of Jesus — so it’s always refreshing to hear from someone who does have a good grasp of it. I would be less critical of the religion as a whole if more folks took the time to really understand the Bible instead of cherry picking it for things they can use to ban stuff they don’t like.

    I have no use for religion myself, but far be it for me to yank someone’s security blanket away if it helps them sleep through the night. At least not until they try to use it to smother others.

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