Dave Daubenmire can’t resist the porn so he thinks we should ban it all.

I hear you asking: Who the fuck is Dave Daubenmire? He’s another Bible Thumper who made a name for himself by being sued by the ACLU. Seems he used to be a high school football coach who had a tendency of coercing the kids he was coaching into praying which brought on the lawsuit back in the late 90s. After settling the case he decided to leave behind his career as a high school coach to become a Coach for Team God. Not a bad decision as far as future athletes at his high school are concerned. Since then he’s attracted a bit of a following with a number of YouTube videos and setting up his own ministry called, get this, Pass the Salt Ministries. Think of him as a less popular version of Joe the Plumber.

Anyway, he caught my attention with a recent YouTube video he did for NewsWithViews.tv in which be bemoaned being tempted by pornography while surfing on the Internet and decides we need to recriminalize it:

There was almost a coherent argument in that little rant. He starts off by talking about how he was minding his own business on the Internet when a popup window suddenly appeared with an ad for a porn site and he was strongly tempted to click on it. He doesn’t say if he did click on it, just that it’s one of the greatest temptations in all of society. He then tries to explain why he thinks we should criminalize porn. As near as I can tell, his argument is that because we are a “rational people” we want to ban smoking and guns and drunk driving and bullying so we should also ban porn because he feels it’s more dangerous than all of those things combined.

That’s about the extent of his argument, though he does try to use shame to convince you it’s legit. He wonders aloud on just how many people in any given business or church are regular consumers of porn and marvels at what a “dark, dark secret” it is. He goes on to say:

“It’s nothing that anyone likes to own up to. Nobody likes to talk about the fact that they’re looking at pornography because we know this, don’t we, that the end result of pornography in most cases when men in particular are looking at pornography it ends up in, what, masturbation. No man wants to talk about that. No man is proud to say that he does that.” 

I don’t have a problem talking about it. I occasionally watch porn with masturbation being the whole point of doing so. There’s not a whole lot of other reasons to watch porn. The acting is pretty terrible, the story all but non-existent, no real special effects to speak of in the majority of it. Some of it can be pretty funny, sometimes even intentionally so, but not enough to make that a reason to watch it. The simple truth is that my libido and my wife’s occasionally don’t sync up and I have a choice. I can make myself into a royal pain in the ass trying to get her to engage in sexy time or I can go blow off some steam with a little porn. Am I proud of it? Never really occurred to me that it’s something to be — or not be — proud of. I don’t advertise the fact that I watch porn mainly because I don’t think anyone really is interested in whether I watch porn, but I don’t consider it a dark secret that I won’t own up to.

“Coach” goes on to claim that porn is “laying waste to this land” and destroying families and careers and, oh my goodness, our young people! He doesn’t elaborate on how, exactly, it’s doing this. He just tosses the claim out there and expects you to accept it as true. I can’t speak for anyone else, but so far it hasn’t ruined my family or career, but then I have managed to develop halfway decent impulse control as I’ve gotten older. To borrow a turn of phrase from the gun nuts: Porn doesn’t destroy people. People destroy people.

So, in summary, his entire argument seems to be: I was tempted to look at porn and I have bad self-control so I think we should ban it. Perhaps “Coach” would do well to install any of the dozens of porn filter applications on his computer that’ll block any websites that might contain temptation inducing naughtiness from his system? Or maybe he needs to hang out on a better class of website that doesn’t accept porn ads. It’s very rare that I have a popup for a porn site show up on my system, but then I don’t tend to frequent sites that are likely to accept those kinds of ads. If I see pon on my screen it’s because I went straight to it.

At the start of the video he says that what he’s about to say “…may seem really radical to ya…” and it’s really not because it’s not a new idea. Porn was banned for a long time and people were prosecuted for both making it and consuming it. Technically it still is illegal in many places as none of the laws have been removed from the books as far as I’m aware. Enforcement is rare because that’s easier than the political process of revoking the laws, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t used on occasion or couldn’t be used again in the future. The truth is: Much like alcohol and (increasingly) recreational drug use, banning it doesn’t seem to abate people’s desire to partake of it.

You were right when you said it was a “supply and demand” problem. What you don’t understand is that getting rid of the supply side won’t do anything to eliminate the demand for it. And when there’s enough demand there will always be someone willing to provide it no matter what the risks.

5 thoughts on “Dave Daubenmire can’t resist the porn so he thinks we should ban it all.

  1. I understand that talking about sex can be awkward, especially when people maybe have some looks/confidence/body issues that are embarrassing to them….but damn, I have never understood why so many people, all the world over, are so backwards and fearful when it comes to discussing sex or having reasonable attitudes towards it.

    It’s especially silly when one looks at the reality. Almost everyone has sexual fantasies and masturbates, except maybe those unlucky few who were mentally tortured into permanent, fearful chastity. Around the world, there must be several million people masturbating at any given time…so, why hasn’t this sinful world just fallen apart? And what is a sexual fantasy but individualized, homemade porn?

    I’d be willing to bet just about anything that sexual repression and irrational beliefs about sexuality have caused more personal and social problems, more grief and violence, than all the “sinful” fornication, masturbation, porn-watching, and lust put together.

  2. Right. And you have never considered that the porn industry viciously abuses women. Those young women all dreamed of doing all those things just for strangers like you, huh? None of them are horribly poor, none have been sold into slavery and none are beat up and drugged into addiction and controlled that way, right? And I’m sure you wife just loves that you announced your porn problem to the world. Know what? you know nothing about women at all.
    And you also know nothing about the true destruction that porn actually does to both men as individuals and to relationships they are in. While that coach (I don’t know who he is) didn’t state the reasons for the harm, it is a well studied area in psychology. It is well documented that porn addiction can be just as bad or worse than heroin addiction. It can ruin ‘normal’ sex for men, leading to problems in their real sex lives with their wives- leading to divorce, etc. It can also lead to affairs due to the lack of satisfaction with ‘normal’ sex. Again, result: divorce. Kids get hurt with divorce. Result: messed up kids. Result: messed up society. You get the picture. While all that is a simplistic explanation, this is just a comment on a blog. Look it up- there’s a lot of research. So, before you blather on about porn not having any negative effects on men or on society, why don’t you do even the smallest amount of research?

    I’m sorry for your wife. Go on pretending to be such a sophisticate. But what you really are is a creep. A creep that hates God.

  3. Susan shows up after three years to complain:

    Right. And you have never considered that the porn industry viciously abuses women. Those young women all dreamed of doing all those things just for strangers like you, huh? None of them are horribly poor, none have been sold into slavery and none are beat up and drugged into addiction and controlled that way, right?

    Wow, there’s a lot to unpack in these first few sentences, but we’ll give it a shot.

    Have I never considered that the porn industry viciously abuses women? I’m well aware that there are some in the porn industry that abuse women, but to suggest that the entire industry does so doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. It would be just as dishonest to suggest that the entire agriculture industry is viciously abusing illegal immigrants simply because there are some immoral farms within it that do so.

    As for if these young women dreamed of doing all these things for strangers like me, no, I doubt that was the motivation. I suspect the primary motivation for them is the same primary motivation for me working in I.T.; we do it for the money. I do love my job, but I’d give it up in a second to sit on a tropical beach drinking exotic drinks if I were to win the lotto. Similarly, there are women who have professed to love their jobs in porn, but I’d bet their primary motivation is still the money it earns them.

    As for none of them being poor, sold into slavery, or beat up and drugged, I’ve never made any such claim. Yes, there are documented cases of all these things having happened. That’s part of what occurs when you don’t properly regulate an industry. These same things happen in other industries that are better regulated so it should be no surprise that it happens in lesser regulated ones like the porn industry. These are problems that should be addressed and there are people working on that.

    Are you aware that similar tactics are used in industries such as smartphone production and clothing? A lot of things are made overseas in developing countries where regulations are lacking, if they exist at all, and abuse of workers is rampant. Apple has been called out a number of times for the sweatshop like conditions at the Foxconn factory in China where most iPhones are made. Things were so bad that Foxconn had to install suicide prevention nets on the side of its buildings after 17 people jumped to their deaths because of the working conditions there. Surely you’ve sworn off all smartphone usage as a result, yes? You probably don’t even want to start talking about slavery in the textile industry.

    Continuing…

    And I’m sure you wife just loves that you announced your porn problem to the world.

    First, I don’t have a porn problem. I often go several weeks without looking at porn. I don’t even own any porn these days. When I feel like looking at it the Internet provides what little I need.

    As for my wife, she has bought me porn in the past so I’m going to assume she doesn’t have a problem with my acknowledging to the world that, hey, sometimes I watch porn. Hell, every now and then she’ll sit down and watch porn with me. Maybe she secretly hates the fact that I sometimes watch other people fucking, but I doubt it. We’ve been married for 16 years now and we’ve had the occasional fight over any number of subjects, but never about my porn “habit” or the fact that I don’t disavow watching it.

    Know what? you know nothing about women at all.

    That’s a bold claim to make after reading one entry on my blog. I suspect you know nothing about me, other than I occasionally watch porn, but apparently that’s enough for you to declare what my knowledge of women happens to be. How very judgemental of you.

    And you also know nothing about the true destruction that porn actually does to both men as individuals and to relationships they are in.

    My relationship with my wife seems to be doing just fine in spite of my watching porn. 16 years is nothing to sneeze at in this day and age. Granted, I’m just one guy and perhaps I’m the exception to the rule. Maybe I’m the aberration in the data.

    [A whole lot of claims on the destructive nature of porn deleted] Look it up- there’s a lot of research. So, before you blather on about porn not having any negative effects on men or on society, why don’t you do even the smallest amount of research?

    What makes you think I haven’t? Again, you presume to know anything about me without good cause.

    Here’s an article by David J. Ley, PHD in Psychology Today published February 3rd, 2014 titled Common Sense about the Effects of Pornography:

    People who like porn, and watch porn, tend to also be people who enjoy sex. Sex is healthy and good for you, and so is masturbation. Even lots of sex and lots of masturbation. There’s no scientific evidence that porn is any different to your brain than any other form of entertainment, from television to video games. The idea that porn use causes erectile dysfunction is bunk, and is based on a simplistic, fear-based and gender-biased view of sex, porn, masturbation and the brain, fueled by a desperate need to find an explanation for erectile difficulties. Frequent masturbation and porn watching may affect a man’s sexual behavior, but the effect is due to masturbation, not from porn. Efforts to pathologize porn are actually hidden attempts to again call masturbation dangerous and unhealthy.

    Greater social access to pornography actually correlates with a decrease in sex crimes, in research that has been replicated around the world. Sexual fantasy, even bizarre, scary types of sexual fantasy, have no proven link to peoples’ behaviors. We’d like to think they do. It makes common sense. But, engaging in sexual fantasy, even about scary, deviant, or illegal practices, is not a major factor influencing peoples’ behaviors. Fantasy is actually more likely to REDUCE the chances people act on scary, dangerous desires. Thinking about choking your boss doesn’t increase the chances you will do it. In fact, the daydream probably reduces your tension, allows you to resolve some emotional issues, and makes it easier for you to go back to work. Sexual fantasies are no different, whether they are in your head or on the computer screen.

    Consistent research shows us that the overwhelming majority of pornography viewers report no problems or difficulties due to their use. When porn users do, their problems relate primarily to their relationships, their culture, their morals and their personal functioning, NOT to porn. Porn use may sometimes be a SYMPTOM of problems, but no research yet shows us that it is a CAUSE of problems.

    Is that enough research? You did say I only had to do the smallest amount. No?

    OK, how about this article by David Ludden, Ph.D. in Psychology Today printed on May 29th, 2017 titled Is Porn Use Really Harmful to Relationships?

    Despite strident claims that research has proven porn use is harmful to relationships, there is in fact no such evidence. Rather, it’s an assertion based on correlational data: While plenty of studies have found that men who regularly use porn are dissatisfied with their relationships, this doesn’t mean that porn use causes relationship dissatisfaction.

    In fact, as Campbell and Kohut point out, the few longitudinal studies that have looked into this issue suggest the direction of causality may run in the opposition direction — that is, partnered men start using porn after they become dissatisfied with their relationship.

    It’s a good article. You should go read it. It points out that a lot of the studies on how porn affects relationships are flawed in the way they approached the topic and it provides suggestions for how better studies could be conducted in the future.

    You might also want to stop assuming you know how much research someone has done simply because you disagree with their stance on a topic. Unless you don’t mind being humiliated for your hubris in public.

    I’m sorry for your wife. Go on pretending to be such a sophisticate.

    Don’t be sorry for my wife. She tells me she’s very happy in our relationship and her life with me. As for pretending to be a “sophisticate”, I’ve never alluded to being any such thing. I freely admit that I am far from being sophisticated. I don’t care much for classical music, my taste in clothing is heavily into the denim jeans and hawaiian shirt territory, I wouldn’t know good art if you pointed it out to me, and I find fart jokes funny.

    But what you really are is a creep. A creep that hates God.

    There you go again. Pretending to know anything about me. Wasn’t it Jesus who warned against judging others lest you be judged?

    For the record, I don’t hate God for the same reason I don’t hate Unicorns or Santa Claus. They don’t exist.

    But, hey, thanks for the comment.

  4. Pingback: “I wonder how many people…are regular viewers of porn? That’s a dark, dark secret, isn’t it? – WhatWouldJackDo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *