Which is why I’ve been posting things in spurts with several days between activity. It’s not that there aren’t things to write about happening in the world, it’s largely that I’ve not had the energy to rant about them because I feel like I’ve ranted about them all before. So days pass as I search for something I feel like I can write something different about or I find something that makes a quick and easy post.
This is especially true of politics. Between the Republicans not giving a shit about anyone other than themselves and their rich buddies, the Tea Party trying to force a dogmatic political ideology even at the expense of the country they claim to love, or the Democrats acting like a bunch of spineless pussies who give away half their bargaining chips before they even try to negotiate with the Republicans, I’ve become totally disenchanted with the whole process. Obama, in particular, has been very disillusioning to the extent that I am seriously considering — for the first time since I’ve been able to do so — not voting in the next election.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been blogging for too long and I’m just getting cynical about so many things. I started blogging because I had something to say and a need to say it and I wanted to contribute my voice to the national discussion on a number of topics in the, perhaps naive, belief that speaking up made a difference. I used to write to my representatives a lot more than I do lately as well for much the same reasons. But these days it seems the inmates are running the asylum and no amount of discussion will make a difference because they’re not listening, have no intention of listening, and you can completely forget about compromise. On top of that, the people who are ostensibly on our side either don’t have the political willpower to fight for our principles or just really aren’t on our side. Again, I’m talking about Obama who kinda portrayed himself as a progressive, but has in many ways been to the right of Reagan in many of the policies he’s pursued. Yes, he’s still probably a hundred-fold better than what a McCain/Palin administration would’ve been, but that’s little comfort when so many things he promised he’d fight for are the very things he caved on without so much as throwing a pillow at the opposition. Pointing this out again and again just seems so futile anymore.
That same is also true of the topic of religion. Even the amusement I used to get from rambling on about the latest bit of pareidolia has lost its luster. Credulous people are credulous and there doesn’t seem to be any shortage of them these days. It often feels like I’m repeating myself on too many of the topics in this category.
It doesn’t help that there are so many other bloggers out there dedicated to specific topics who are covering all of the stuff I used to rant about so much more thoroughly and better than I ever did. More often than not these days I find myself writing about a topic more to point out an angle or thought that wasn’t touched on by everyone else who wrote about it, but that’s an increasingly rare thing.
So my output has slowed and every now and then I wonder if I shouldn’t just hang up my hat and call it a good run. Nearly ten years is an incredibly long time to dedicate to one activity. Then I come across something that sparks my creative juices and I put out a few entries and I feel like I’m contributing once again and I think to myself, maybe I’ve got a little more I can do. And then four or five days pass without my writing so much as a sentence and I’m right back into that rut. I feel bad when I go more than a day or two without posting something because so many folks seem to drop by daily to see what small bit of insanity I’ve decided to share with them.
So that’s the state I find myself in right now. Less output because I’m trying to be somewhat novel in what I’m writing about. Even trying to get another bit of fiction finished so I can post that as a nice change of pace. Trying to be more than just that nutbag who’s always bitching about Republicans and True Believers™ on his blog. Trying to figure out how I can share more of myself in a way that’s interesting.