SEB Pro Tip: Don’t use your Facebook profile to solicit for a hit man.

Pic of Charlie Brown.

I'm right there with you on that one, Chuck.

It says something about the depths of human stupidity that I can still be surprised by the depths of some people’s stupidity. Take, for example, the Philadelphia woman who decided that she’d had enough of her ex-boyfriend (and father of her child) and decided to do something about it:

Police say London Eley, his ex-girlfriend and the mother of his 1-year-old daughter, allegedly solicited to have him murdered.

According to authorities, Eley posted this message on her Facebook wall: “I will pay somebody a stack to kill my baby father.”

That’s some Grade-A quality stupid right there, but that’s just the start of the stupidity. Someone actually took her up on the offer:

Investigators say Timothy Bynum took up the offer.

“Clearly, if he would have received the money, he would have carried this out,” Philadelphia Police Lt. John Walker said.In fact, Bynum allegedly responded to Eley on Facebook: “say no more,” “what he look like?” “where he be at,” “need dat stack 1st,” and “ima mop that bull.”

You can tell what a high-level thinker Bynum is just by the quality of his responses. Clearly he had given his replies careful and thoughtful consideration.

The intended target found out about the posting shortly after they hit Facebook and he went to police who acquired a search warrant and promptly arrested both of these idiots for crimes of stupidity against humanity. At the trial the defense lawyers will argue that they are not guilty because they’re obviously too stupid to tie their own shoelaces let alone competently arrange an assassination.

 

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