Arizona’s Birther bill goes from stupid to batshit crazy.

Pic of hurr dog.

The average Arizonian legislator. *NotMeantToBeAFactualStatement.

The whole birth certificate horse has been beaten beyond death into a pulpy pile of unrecognizable gore, but that doesn’t mean the Republicans are going to stop whacking at it anytime soon. Over in Arizona they just passed what they’re calling the Birther Bill, which is pretty stupid to begin with, but they’re cranking up the crazy with a novel exemption:

Apparently, requiring presidential candidates to provide a long-form birth certificate before allowing their names on the ballot in Arizona — despite it already being a federal requirement to run for president — was a bit too much for a few GOP lawmakers. So they made some amendments: if you can’t find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack of foreskin will suffice.

A circumcision certificate — a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony — is not a legal document but if you have one, under the amended bill, it’s apparently enough to prove you’re a U.S. citizen and your name can be permitted on the ballot in Arizona.

via Arizona’s Senate-Approved Birther Bill Could Force Presidential Candidates to Provide Documentation Describing What Their Penis Looks Like to Get on Ballot – Phoenix News – Valley Fever.

What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck?? Do they really think circumcision is a America-only phenomena that no one else in the world partakes in? How is that supposed to be proof of American citizenship? Every observant Jew in the world, and a good number of Christians and Muslims as well, just became eligible for the Presidential ballot in Arizona regardless of where they were actually born.

You really have to wonder what’s in the drinking water of that state to make people so moronic.

 

6 thoughts on “Arizona’s Birther bill goes from stupid to batshit crazy.

  1. You don’t want the job anyway, Hussar.

    And Les- this is actually good news: the fact that legislators are taking time for a bill like this must mean that there are no real problems in Arizona any more: no poor people, or people without jobs or healthcare, or traffic problems, or crime…

  2. I was born in the era when it was pretty much standard practice for Canadian males to get snipped. So I guess all I need is a bit of fake paperwork and I can run for US Pres.

    This whole business shows one way in which the Canadian political system is inarguably superior to that of the US. As long as you’re a citizen of Canada you can be Prime Minister. As for the post of Governor-General, who acts in the stead of Queen Elizabeth II, we had two in a row who weren’t Canadian born: Adrienne Clarkson, who was born in Hong Kong, and Michaelle Jean, who is Haitian by birth. Jean was replaced this year by some white guy whose name I can’t remember, and I doubt anyone else does.

  3. Yeah, superior except for that whole >>foreign-queen-as-true-head-of-state<< thing.

  4. Also, I would just like to add what a joke my son’s circumcision certificate is — if I recall correctly, the mohel scribbled it out BY HAND, threw in the proper Hebrew spelling of the boy’s Hebrew name, and that was pretty much that. It would either be really sad or somehow really awesome to use this “document” as proof of citizenship someday, when he runs for president.

  5. This whole business shows one way in which the Canadian political system is inarguably superior to that of the US. As long as you’re a citizen of Canada you can be Prime Minister. As for the post of Governor-General, who acts in the stead of Queen Elizabeth II, we had two in a row who weren’t Canadian born: Adrienne Clarkson, who was born in Hong Kong, and Michaelle Jean, who is Haitian by birth.

    Actually I disagree with that. The reason someone has to be a naturalized citizen to be President is to prevent for example a polish prince from being elected President. Or to prevent Prince Philip from moving to the United States, becoming a citizen, and then deciding he wants to be President. Or to prevent the Queen of Great Britain (horror of horrors) from becoming a citizen and then becoming President. The founding fathers were thinking ahead!

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