Man considers heart-shaped potato to be a sign from God.

When someone puts forth something silly as proof of the existence of God I usually just roll my eyes and continue on my way. Usually, but not this time.

Pic of heart shaped potato.

It only has "eyes" for you. Get it?

I was shopping one day, and bought a large bag of potatoes, and usually they are oval or round, but this one was perfectly shaped like a heart. I have had a really hard life and sometimes, I feel like I can’t go on anymore, and I have always believed in God, and with all the craziness in the world today, we sometimes need a sign that God is here, even in a small way. This isn’t one of the crazy situations where someone says they saw God in a burned piece of toast, or someone spills paint and says they saw Him in a paint smudge. No, this is a real’ creation of His. It’s not just a warped potato leaning toward the shape of a heart, it’s really a perfectly shaped heart, and there is no other explanation than God sent it. I know people will say it’s just a potato, blah blah blah, but I am a smart person, and I believe in God, and I acknowledge when I see something he created. There’s so much corruption in New Jersey, the list is growing daily here. So it’s nice to see something good for a change, even something so small.via God’s Heart | NJ.com.

I will concede that the potato does resemble the classically romanticized image of a heart. It’s also possible that there is a God of some sort out there someplace who might have thought that sending it to this poor fellow was an appropriate way to alleviate his stress. I seriously doubt it, but it’s possible. That’s not what bothers me about this little bit of ‘evidence.’

What bother’s me is the writers inability to conceive that his finding this peculiarly shaped tuber could be the result of anything other than an act of God. Quoting him again, he makes the following claim:

It’s not just a warped potato leaning toward the shape of a heart, it’s really a perfectly shaped heart, and there is no other explanation than God sent it.

Well, no, it’s not a perfectly shaped heart. It has irregularities and imperfections that are clearly visible just as one would expect if it is the result of natural processes. There are also any number of possibilities for its shape other than God taking time out of his busy schedule to sit down and mold it himself. Where was it grown? Was it constricted in some way that would have forced it to grow in such a shape? Might a farmer have been experimenting with forced morphology in hopes of producing a novelty that would sell even better? (In Japan they grow square watermelons.) Could it be a conjoined pair of potatoes? Could it have been plain old random dumb luck?

All of those potentialities are possible and are more probable than the possibility that it was a small gift from God. The idea that it’s impossible for a vegetable to grow like that through a natural process implies that all of the other vegetables that develop in ways that make them appear to be genitalia are also a sign from God. If this fellow had received a potato shaped like a dick and balls would he have taken that as a gift from God? (God says SCREW YOU!)

And, really, if he’s had as much trouble as he claims to have had why wouldn’t God do something a bit more practical to help this dude out? “Hey guy! I know your life has been rough lately and you’re feeling pretty shit-on as of late, so I used my endless powers of creation to make you this potato crudely shaped like a heart. I know it’s not much, but it’s all I can do at the moment. Hope it makes you feel better.” I suppose it’s better than a plague of boils and locusts, but still you’d think he could manage something a bit more useful.

Alas, this poor fellow’s attempt to share his miracle with the world attracted the attention of a lot of skeptical comments, presumably from atheists, which prompted him to reply with the following:

All of you Atheist’s who left your ignorant negative comments here about the heart, go to Hell where you belong, and leave this gift to us who know God.
You missed the point here. Its a small gift, and you don’t see it, so get lost!

He’s right. If there was a point to it I did indeed miss it. He doesn’t bother to explain the point either so I guess we’ll never know. However from where I’m standing, his little follow-up rant seems to me to be saying: “I want to believe this is a small miracle made just for me and I will not consider any other possibilities because they don’t make me special.”

Well, I suppose that’s one approach you could take. Not the one I would take, but if it helps you to sleep at night…

14 thoughts on “Man considers heart-shaped potato to be a sign from God.

  1. Wow, I don’t know what this says about me, but….it actually looks like a pair of upside-down butt cheeks.

  2. The three comments about how it looks like butt cheeks are not too far off the mark. If you read about the history of the “heart,” you’ll learn that one of the theories is that it was based on female body parts. And yes, it looks more like an ass than that pumping organ inside your body. If this guy thinks the potato looks like a real heart, he needs to take a course in anatomy once.

    But I do believe this truly is a sign from God to this guy. He’s telling him to get laid.

  3. I had a Cheerio shaped like a heart. Had it as my FB profile for a while ‘cuz I thought it was cool. However, I don’t think God sent it to me. I think it was part of the manufacturing process.

    🙂

  4. Considering that modern people, with access to education and doctors, see heart shaped potatoes as signs from God, and they see God in the clouds, in tortillas, see images of Jesus on their dog’s rear ends… is it any wonder that illiterate 1st century peasants thought they saw the resurrected Jesus? Just asking…

  5. It’s not a heart, it’s God’s testicles. He was looking at it upside down. 😉

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