Light bulbs for the True Believer.

Science can be a real pain in the ass for a True Believer™. All those “theories” based on “evidence” when all you really need in life is faith that God will provide. It can be pretty galling having to purchase products based on a “scientific” understanding of the world. That’s why we here at SEB Technologies have been combing the world for Faith Based products that we can sell to the True Believers™ who want an alternative to science-based products.

Thus we are proud to offer the world’s first Science-Free Light Bulbs!

Pic of Science Free Light Bulbs

Just screw 'em in and pray!

These bulbs are created using the latest non-scientific understanding of light. Not only are they 100% science-free, but they’ll also lower your utility bill as they do not use any electricity at all! These bulbs are 100% powered by pure faith! So long as you believe enough that they will work then they will! Note: Failure of these bulbs to illuminate is a sign of weakness of the spirit and a sure sign that you need to get right with God!

So if you’re sick of having to rely on “science” to keep you out of the dark then suffer no longer! Now you can have 100% science-free lighting in your home! These are truly the last light bulbs you will ever need to buy!

58 thoughts on “Light bulbs for the True Believer.

  1. I refer to quantum physics and all that weird stuff and I cite myself, an authority on nonsense. No rules against that.

    In any case god told me so. Prove he didn’t…… hehehe

    Now send me all your money and I will bless thee…

  2. Hey, you’re the one making the claims – you prove them.

    I really don’t think anyone in the scientific establishment really takes that life after death as a result of sub-molecular interactions. I suspect you don’t really believe it either.

  3. It would be undignified for me to have to prove anything you heathen scum!! GUARDS!!! Arrest that infidel!!!

    Do I believe it? I believe that almost anything is possible. When you consider the nature of the universe and everything in it then it is unwise to dismiss such a possibility. If I were really serious about it then I should not dismiss the existence of god either. At this stage I do not believe in either but I am more than willing to be wrong. I’ll believe anything if there is something in it for me. Right now there is not. ARE YOU LISTENING GOD??? MAKE ME AN OFFER I CAN’T REFUSE.

  4. Do I believe it? I believe that almost anything is possible.

    Anything may be possible, but that doesn’t mean everything is probable. Unless there is good reason to accept a claim as true then skepticism of the claim should be the default position.

    When you consider the nature of the universe and everything in it then it is unwise to dismiss such a possibility.

    Not really. Is it unwise to dismiss the possibility there may be underwear gnomes stealing socks from my dresser or is that possibility low enough in probability that we can ignore it without any consequence? I’d lean towards the latter myself, but you go ahead and accept the possibility and take precautions against it if you feel you must. I hear they hate when you line your dresser drawers with garlic cloves. Bet that keeps ’em away!

  5. The amount of wool, cotton and polyester lost to humanity due to that unsolved mystery of the vanishing socks could make enough garments to clothe an army or sink a battleship or any other vaguely appropriate phrase I might attempt to pull out of my ass at this time. Having just woken up my brain is running on pure silly and the really dumb stuff will come later in the day.

    Frankly I think there is only one kind of sock. We pair them up against their will because humans have two feet but socks care not how many arms or legs we have. They have their own priorities. We live in the right-side sock universe and all the left-side socks trapped here in a loveless marriage with socks they can never love or respect, want nothing more than to find their own kind in that other dimension where the left-side socks reside. I am convinced that the Galactic Council for Lost Socks have set up worm holes in most washing machines and driers where the forlorn socks make good their escape. The idea of a gnome is too silly for me to even address here. The socks simply leap into the worm holes and are instantly zapped through space and time to be united with their family and friends light years from this world.

    It is my life’s ambition to prove the existence of these worm holes and find away to thwart this escape route so there will no more cold toes here on earth. Imagine the fame and glory!!! I will immortalised…. I will be loved by one and all. They will make me a GOD!!! HHHAHAHAHHAAAAAHAHHHA HAAA HEEEHEHEAHHAHOOO!!!!

  6. Science and faith are not mutually exclusive. Certainly people exist who know absolutely nothing about about science but have faith, just as people exist who are very scientifically-minded but know nothing of faith. Ignorance is the leading cause of jokes and ridicule like this article. Stop the close-mindedness and learn something about the world you live in, whether that be something you are familiar with or something that may at first seem ridiculous to you.

  7. Adam writes…

    Science and faith are not mutually exclusive.

    I never said they were mutually exclusive. Though that does appear to be the case for some folks.

    Ignorance is the leading cause of jokes and ridicule like this article.

    Indeed it is. In fact it’s a joke poking fun at other’s ignorance. Congratulations on recognizing it for what it is.

    Stop the close-mindedness and learn something about the world you live in, whether that be something you are familiar with or something that may at first seem ridiculous to you.

    You make one hell of an assumption concluding that I’m closed minded from one joke on my blog. You also assume that I don’t know anything about the world I live in. It takes a fair amount of arrogance to make such assumptions on so little evidence, don’t you think?

  8. @ Pieter:
    BEWARE ALL READERS: This point in the thread marks the last of any comment shorter than 4 sentences and subsequently stops being fun…

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