You would think this would be self-evident, but apparently at least one fellow out there needed to be told:
“I hit my ear on the boom of my truck and broke the headset of my phone,” Mr Gardner told the Northern Territory News.
“So I got some superglue and glued it back together – and that was … when my boss rang.”
The truck driver said he usually had the phone’s headset in his ear most of the day.
“I guess I didn’t think much of it when I put it back into my ear to talk to the boss.
“I drove from Casuarina to Rapid Creek when I realised I had done something kinda stupid.”
If you do accidentally glue your headset to your ear, don’t compound the problem with half-assed attempts at removing it:
Mr Gardner told the Northern Territory News it crossed his mind to use his pocket knife to remove the unwanted gear from his ear.
“I realised I didn’t want to see myself going to a doctor to put my ear back on after I chopped it off.
“So I used a spoon.”
The 43-year-old said he scraped the earpiece out of his ear with a spoon but several pieces of skin were still stuck to the headphones.
“Yes, it did hurt – but I guess I did hurt my pride much more than it did hurt my ear.”
Kudos to Mr. Gardner for not using his pocket knife, but a spoon is hardly an adequate second choice. What he should have used instead is a bit of acetone, which is like Kryptonite to super glue. Just a bit of your average nail polish remover – check the bottle to be sure it has acetone in it – on a Q-tip is all it takes to remove the glue without removing parts of your ear along with it. Be sure to wash the acetone off your skin once you free yourself and perhaps put some lotion on the spot as well.
As it turns out, it’s possible to get super glue on parts of your body that you really shouldn’t use acetone on such as your lips or your eye. Apparently this has happened enough that the Original Super Glue Corporation actually has a webpage detailing what to do:
Should Super Glue bond to any body part where acetone should not be applied, such as the lips or eyes, the following steps will help you get out of any sticky situation!
Immerse bonded areas in warm, soapy water. Peel or roll skin apart; a spatula or teaspoon handle or even a pencil will help. Remove cured adhesive with warm, soapy water (may take several applications). Fingernail polish remover with an acetone base has also been successful for removal of cured adhesive from skin.
If lips are accidentally stuck together, apply a generous amount of warm water and encourage maximum wetting and pressure from saliva from inside the mouth. Peel or roll (do not pull) lips apart. It is almost impossible to swallow the adhesive as a liquid. The adhesive solidifies upon contact with saliva (moisture) and could adhere to the inside of the mouth. Saliva will lift the adhesive in 1-2 days, avoid swallowing the adhesive after detachment.
In the event that eyelids are stuck together or bonded to the eyeball, wash thoroughly with warm water and apply a gauze patch. The eye will open without further action within 1-4 days. To our knowledge there has never been a documented case of adhesive in the eye causing permanent damage. Do not try to force eyes open.
The adhesive will attach itself to the eye protein and will disassociate from it over time, usually within several hours. Periods of weeping and double vision may be experienced until clearance is achieved. Use of a warmed 3% sodium bicarbonate solution to wash eyes repeatedly may assist in aiding more rapid removal of the adhesive.
WE SUGGEST THAT ALL INCIDENTS OF EYE EXPOSURE TO CYANOACRYLATE ADHESIVE (SUPER GLUE) BE DISCUSSED WITH A PHYSICIAN.
In other words, please don’t sue the shit out of us due to your own stupidity.