Being the messiah can be tough. In fact it can drive you a little crazy:
Police said they were called to the 5800 block of Ridgeway Avenue in the Twinbrook area at about 6:20 p.m. That’s where they found a 38-year-old man with bite wounds and cuts to his arms, and puncture wounds to his chest and thigh.
[…] While the man was treated by medics, his three children were evacuated from the house and Jesus was locked up in a room of the home. The owner was then taken to Suburban Hospital in Bethesda, where he later underwent surgery.
The police then went back into the home and found Jesus had broken through the door of the room and was still acting aggressively.
Perhaps he had had a little too much communion wine. Perhaps he was just tired of the incessant and selfish prayers so many of his followers call upon him with. Perhaps he had just had enough of people doing wrong in his name.
Or perhaps it’s because he had somehow mistakenly come back to Earth as a 120-pound Rottweiler/Pit Bull:
Rockville Police and Neighborhood Services, meanwhile, made several attempts to capture Jesus using a capture pole. After hours of trying to capture him, police entered the home and used a taser gun to stun the dog, which did not phase the animal, according to police.
Police said they shot and killed the dog at approximately 1 a.m.
Sorry Christians, but your only hope of getting off this planet before the Anti-Christ takes over was just killed by the cops because they didn’t realize your savior had come back as a dog.