I’ve had my fair share of blue balls over the years, but I’ve never been so hard up that I considered smashing my car through a sex shop:
BROWNHELM TWP. — The thief who crashed his car through AdultMart here early Wednesday knew exactly what he wanted: He picked up a $300 sex toy, discarded it for a smaller, less expensive model and then drove off — all of which was captured quite clearly on security video.
“Desperate people do desperate things,” said Tracy Holmes, the store’s manager. “At 6 o’clock in the morning when I got here, we had no doors at all.”
Yes, there’s video:
Folks, that there is a man in desperate need of some hot latex lovin’ and only one sex toy will do! Alas the article doesn’t mention which toy was worth such a daring robbery, which is probably a missed promotional opportunity. COME GET THE SEX TOY THAT’S WORTH DRIVING YOUR CAR THROUGH THE STORE FOR!