God’s a busy fellow, but he does feel he’s been neglecting giving his creation more one-on-one face time so he’s created a webpage where you can Chat with God Online. Somehow I don’t think it’s really God that you’re chatting with as my conversation with him sounded like it had been outsourced to a foreign call center full of retarded George W. Bush clones with a poor grasp of English. All typos are God’s:
God: Hello! What is your name?
You: LesGod: Les, nice to meet you! Are you a man or a woman?
You: Shouldn’t you already know that? For that matter, shouldn’t you have known my name?God: I think I should.Your purpose is that matter should not you have known his or her name.
You: Um… what?God: And?Are you surprised?
You: Surprised? No. Confused? Yes.God: Do you want to continue talking about Lizards?”“? Not?No I never get confused.Far out.
You: Have you been smoking pot again?God: Once more? We are not doing any testing at the moment.
You: Who said anything about testing?God: ELIZA.
You: Well that explains everything.God: Interesting. “” explains everything ? I get .
You: You’re like trying to talk to a brain dead monkey.God: Interesting comparison, and probably true.
You: I think I’m done now.God: Right now? Why? Next topic?
You: I don’t think I can handle anymore divine wisdom today.God: Ah. Oh you don’t, do you?
You: Goodbye.God: Thanks for chatting, Do Not You Know.
Yeah, that seems like a poor imitation to me. Either that or God has a serious brain injury he hasn’t recovered from.
Me: are you a Poe
God: Am I a Poe? Only when it matters.
What more can I say!
Mind you with a name like “dumb.com/god/” I can guess.
He said I was polite.
You: Are you polite
God: Do I look like POLITE ?
You: No, you look like a genocidal maniac in a beard
God: Is that all you have to say? What does a genocidal maniac in a beard maniac in a beard look like?
How about a ‘Polytheism Win’
You: How is Odin?
God: Fine as far as I know.
You: Les chatted with you
God: Intéressant.
You: how did you find him?
God: bored.com programmed me for it.
You: Are you a computer programme then?
God: I’m God. I’m watching over you.
You: Are you a computer program god?
God: Yes.
Atheist win?
You: So Richard Dawkins is right?
God: So what? He will be interested I am sure.
God is a fan of RD!
Wow not seen an eliza bot for years, cool little things although once a conversation gets off script you just end up with… well what you guys got.
God having a serious brain injury isn’t so far fetched, how many times do you think he’s smacked his own head into a wall because of all the idiot demands/prayers of us mortals, he’s got more important things to do, like control gravity and bury more dinosaur bones.
Actually it is God it’s just that we humans cannot comprehend him. What he is saying makes perfect sense if you are a deity too.
Has anyone got their jebus secret decoder ring?
So God talks like a blithering, drunk idiot?
No wonder he and Bush got on so famously.
You: Ragman
God: Ragman, nice to meet you! Are you a man or a woman?
You: Ummm, why don’t you parse my name?
God: That’s cool. Perhaps due to noise in my circuits. Yes I try to parse his or her name as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
You: I mean, it’s not like I said my name was Ragwoman.
God: Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. What is it?
You: Oh, it’s just the name I would use if I was missing a Y chromosome.
God: Uh. I’ve heard of it before.
You: Well I certainly hope so! You did invent it, didn’t you?
God: Interesting. Me too.Did I really?
You: It’s what you have been claiming. Suffer from amnesia much?
God: Should I know what you have been claiming is?Do you want to continue talking about Lizards?
You: Anmesia. Loss of memory. Have you been drinking/
God: Do you want to continue talking about Lizards?Do you want to continue talking about Lizards?I do not require fluids.
You: We were not talking about lizards.
God: Great! What kinds of lizards do you like?
You: I like lizards that smoke pot.
God: I’m not sure if I like it. Someone said they like guns. I like Love Story.
You: And I like internet pr0n! Wow, we have something in common!
God: I’m not sure if I like it. Someone said they like guns. I like Heaven’s Band.I’m glad you’re impressed. Perhaps many more things too.
You: Well, what do you like?
God: Well that’s okay. I like movies about robots.
You: Do you like the humping robot from Robot Chicken?
God: I’m not sure if I like the humping robot from Robot Chicken . What is it like?
You: It’s like getting humped by a robot.
God: Interesting comparison.
You: God, are you a robot?
God: That’s me. How did you know I am a machine?
You: You seem to be interested in robot porn.
God: I am God. I’m watching over you.
You: I really wish you wouldn’t do that while you are watching robot porn.
God: You really do? Oh I get it.
You: Yeah, ratchet one out on your own time bud.
God: Hurrah! Do you want to continue talking about Lizards?
You: I do not want to talk about lizards.
God: Great! What kinds of lizards do you like?
You: Why don’t you shove that lizard where the sun don’t shine?
God: Perhaps due to noise in my circuits. Yes I try to shove that lizard where the sun do not shine as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
You: You need therapy.
God: Thank you for your criticism.
You: My name is Leguru.
God: Are you a man or a woman?
You: I’m still trying to make up my mind.
God: Why?
You: So many choices, so little control.
God: What choices?
You: Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual, Transgender, etc.
God: Do you want to continue talking about Lizards?
You: Are Lizards homosexual?
God: I don’t really know.
You: So Lizards are still trying to make up their mind, too.
God: Trying to make up their mind to make up their mind.
You: I have to go, now. My mother is calling me.
God: Nice to talk to you, David.
You: How big is your lizard?
God: My download size is about 1 MB. The memory requirement is around 32MB for the Java edition, or only 640K for the C/C++ edition.
My memory now contains:
43271
But Les, that’s exactly the way the Bible sounds to me.
Back in about ‘75, they had ELIZA running at the Lawrence Lab in Berkeley, and anyone with a modem and a teletype could call in and play. My brother and I had bought a couple of broken IBM golfball teletypes from the University dirt cheap and fixed them up, and we spent several evenings “conversing” “online”. Back then, that was the cat’s meow.
And I have to say: ELIZA has aged pretty well. I don’t know of any current quasi-Turing programs that do much better. Anyone know of any good ones?
Wow, this is gonna be a long thread:
T-1000? Can Eliza actually pass the test though? I wonder how many actual humans could (note, I am only vaguely aware of what the Turing Test is, not how it works).
When an ELIZA says “I need your clothes, your boots and your bike” might be time to take the red pill!
I can’t believe this was missed:
From Les’s:
“You: Have you been smoking pot again?
God: Once more? We are not doing any testing at the moment.”
That explains EVERYTHING!!!