God’s a busy fellow, but he does feel he’s been neglecting giving his creation more one-on-one face time so he’s created a webpage where you can Chat with God Online. Somehow I don’t think it’s really God that you’re chatting with as my conversation with him sounded like it had been outsourced to a foreign call center full of retarded George W. Bush clones with a poor grasp of English. All typos are God’s:
God: Hello! What is your name?
God: Les, nice to meet you! Are you a man or a woman?
You: Shouldn’t you already know that? For that matter, shouldn’t you have known my name?
God: I think I should.Your purpose is that matter should not you have known his or her name.
You: Um… what?
God: And?Are you surprised?
You: Surprised? No. Confused? Yes.
God: Do you want to continue talking about Lizards?”“? Not?No I never get confused.Far out.
You: Have you been smoking pot again?
God: Once more? We are not doing any testing at the moment.
You: Who said anything about testing?
You: Well that explains everything.
God: Interesting. “” explains everything ? I get .
You: You’re like trying to talk to a brain dead monkey.
God: Interesting comparison, and probably true.
You: I think I’m done now.
God: Right now? Why? Next topic?
You: I don’t think I can handle anymore divine wisdom today.
God: Ah. Oh you don’t, do you?
God: Thanks for chatting, Do Not You Know.
Yeah, that seems like a poor imitation to me. Either that or God has a serious brain injury he hasn’t recovered from.