Jesus ruins Christmas in “The Night Jesus met Santa Claus.”

For good old schlock and cheeze you can’t do much better than when some Christians decide it’s time to try and subvert some aspect of pop culture. The following video is a couple of years old (it was uploaded to YouTube in 2006), but its awfulness is not diminished by time. It tells the story of the night that Jesus bumps into Santa Claus in some random person’s house and proceeds to convert the jolly old elf into a Christian who then promises to stop delivering toys to all the good girls and boys and deliver Bibles instead. Yeah, I’m sure that would go over well. I thought Jesus wanted kids to like him, not hate him which your average 8-year-old will do because they aren’t going to be able to comprehend eternal salvation well enough to get over the massive disappointment of not getting the latest hot toy from Santa.

Not only is this poorly illustrated, but the music is done in a country-western style complete with southern drawl on the singer so if you’re allergic to that sort of music you should probably avoid watching this. Hell, if you’re allergic to Christian propaganda you might want to avoid watching this. Me, I had to laugh at how horrible it was. It’s particularly amusing when you consider that it’s one fictional character saving the soul of another fictional character:

Found over at God is for Suckers.

17 thoughts on “Jesus ruins Christmas in “The Night Jesus met Santa Claus.”

  1. Les- you forgot to mention how poorly written the lyrics are: grammatical mistakes, bad rhymes, repetitive…  For anyone who wants to clean out their ears after that foray into Poe’s Law territory, here’s an antidote.

  2. You miss the point of Christianity obviously. It is to save souls, not save Christmas. Although almost every Christian I know of seems to be trying to save Christmas.

    That said, I don’t really think you have ever missed the point of Christianity. It is to guilt us all into following a religion while offering no real (doable) solutions to todays problems.

    But heck, what is today when we have eternity.

  3. How many times do Christians have to be told that Jesus wasn’t even born in December or even in the winter. I have told so many that Christmas was originally a pagan holiday and was adopted into Christianity during the council of Nicea.

  4. How many times do Christians have to be told that Jesus wasn’t even born in December or even in the winter. I have told so many that Christmas was originally a pagan holiday and was adopted into Christianity during the council of Nicea.

    Council of Nicaea,  not Nicea, and that is untrue; December 25 was not chosen for the date of Christmas at that council. Though, that said, the way that they choose the date of Easter each year was apparently decided at Nicaea. And of course the date is unimportant, the point of the holiday is to celebrate Jesus’ birth; whenever that might have been.

    Anyway, the reason I post this is because that comment reminded me of a story that I heard a few years back about the real St. Nicholas. St. Nicholas of course was a bishop, and according to this story he was himself in attendance at the Council of Nicaea. The issue at Nicaea, as some of you might know, was the teachings of Arius, called Arianism; which to put it briefly said that Jesus was not God but that he was of a different “substance.” According to the story, St. Nicholas is listening to Arius discussing his beliefs, or is perhaps directly debating Arius. St.  Nicholas, or Santa, becomes so enraged by what Arius is saying that he walks up to Arius, punches him in the face, and is apparently arrested and put in a prison cell.

    Good old Santa Claus…

    By the way, before someone starts talking about how this story is an example of religious intolerance, the story itself probably isn’t true and as far as I can tell is an Eastern Orthodox tradition/legend. I still thought it was interesting, considering the image that Santa has in the west.

  5. Positive writes…

    And of course the date is unimportant, the point of the holiday is to celebrate Jesus’ birth; whenever that might have been.

    I agree. Ignore the fact that I was born in August. I want to celebrate my birthday today. Where’s my presents?

    By the way, before someone starts talking about how this story is an example of religious intolerance, the story itself probably isn’t true and as far as I can tell is an Eastern Orthodox tradition/legend. I still thought it was interesting, considering the image that Santa has in the west.

    I suppose, though I think it depends on how much you buy into the idea that St. Nicholas was the sole basis of the Santa myth. All indications are he’s only part of the story and Santa is an amalgam of a number of different stories and characters, both real and mythical.

  6. I’m a Christian Monk whose legal name is Santa Claus.  I’m a full-time, volunteer advocate for the 2 million children in the U.S. annually who are abused, neglected, exploited, abandoned, homeless, and institutionalized through no fault of their own.  I believe that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christ—not the crass, commercial spectacle it has become in many places.  The greatest gift one can give is love.  End of story.  Blessings to all, Santa grin}

  7. But that is the point Les.  We don’t know when his birthday would have been. Its not a matter of ignoring his actual birthday. I really don’t see that it should take away from the holiday. The fact that December 25th is not his actual birthday has never troubled me, anyway.

    And you’re right about there being more to the Santa myth than St. Nicholas, but he is where it all goes back to, including the name and his apparent generosity in giving out presents.

    Either way, I just thought that was an interesting story to tell around Christmas time.

  8. I find it so funny that this idiot is reviewing CHILDREN’S BOOKS……..

    For the love of our good Lord, can you not comprehend a light hearted look at a way to bring Jesus to children ?

    Perhaps is has to to with your limited intelligence that you have to limit your reviews to children’s books… what’s next, Green Eggs & Ham?  The Star Bellied Sneeches?

  9. Imagine that. Even Santa reads SEB.

    Positive writes…

    But that is the point Les.  We don’t know when his birthday would have been. Its not a matter of ignoring his actual birthday. I really don’t see that it should take away from the holiday. The fact that December 25th is not his actual birthday has never troubled me, anyway.

    We have a pretty good idea what time of year it would have been based on the details from the Bible stories and December most likely wouldn’t have been the best guess.

    I’ve mentioned before why the December date bugs me and it has to do with the early church’s attempts at taking over Pagan festivals and holidays, of which Christmas is a prime example. You don’t think it’s at all a tad bit odd that, being able to pick anytime of the year to declare as Jesus’ birthday, the church just happens to pick one that coincides with a significant and widely popular pagan celebration? I’m sure the date chosen was entirely random and had no ulterior motives at all.

    And you’re right about there being more to the Santa myth than St. Nicholas, but he is where it all goes back to, including the name and his apparent generosity in giving out presents.

    Actually it goes back even father than Saint Nicholas. Aspects of the myth can be traced all the way back to the god Odin as well as some of rituals, such as hanging stockings near the fire in anticipation of them being filled during the night.

    Kristy writes…

    I find it so funny that this idiot is reviewing CHILDREN’S BOOKS……..

    Are you suggesting that children’s books are beyond criticism? A bad story is a bad story no matter which age group it’s written for.

    For the love of our good Lord, can you not comprehend a light hearted look at a way to bring Jesus to children ?

    Of course I can comprehend it. I’ve seen some good example of such, this is not one of them. Personally I think trying to indoctrinate children with the Jesus myth before they’re even old enough to understand the concepts involved is a mistake, but that doesn’t mean I can’t comprehend that this is an attempt to do just that.

    Perhaps is has to to with your limited intelligence that you have to limit your reviews to children’s books… what’s next, Green Eggs & Ham?  The Star Bellied Sneeches?

    You’ve read one entry of mine and you’ve already decided that I have a limited intelligence? That’s very arrogant of you. Alas, it’s also very Christian of you though I doubt Christ himself would approve.

  10. Les, right, the Bible indicates that he was born in the Spring.
    And, no, I do not think it was a coincidence. I think it is clear that the early Christians were trying to rival the Pagan holiday and perhaps were trying to win Pagans over, or perhaps were trying to give converts a Christian holiday to celebrate to help them forget their Pagan customs. The same is true of the holiday that became our Halloween, for instance. But I do not see that there is anything wrong with this. You can certainly point to instances where Christians committed immoral acts against Pagans (and vice versa) but I don’t think this is one of them.

    And I was not aware that the Santa Claus character has roots in Odin. Interesting.

  11. You’ve read one entry of mine and you’ve already decided that I have a limited intelligence? That’s very arrogant of you.

    Now, Les, he’s right; you DO have a limited intelligence.  Of course from reading thousands of your posts, I’d say your intelligence is limited to art, music, computing, science, humor, philosophy, literature, history, cinema, and a few hundred other specific topics, all interrelated and spiced up with your strange outlook on life.  But it IS limited.

    The question is, what’s HIS intelligence limited by?  The correct spelling of Nicaea? Speculation about the time of Jesus’ birth?  That’s pretty thin gruel; we know the shepherds were lying with their flocks at night (naughty shepherds!) so that puts it sometime between March and late September.  After that the flocks have headaches.

  12. Positive: as picky as I can also be, I would not fault anyone for saying “Nicea” instead of “Nicaea”: last I looked, both spellings were accepted. They come from the Greek Νικαία, so “Nikaia” would be a better transliteration in any case.  The evolution in pronunciation from hard “k” to sibilant “c” is a fact of life- if you want to take that on, there’s oodles of English words you will have to reform.  Do you really want to do this in kyberspace?

    About religious intolerance: St. Nikolas was allegedly not only critical of Arianism.  There’s a story (apocryphal, as most of these stories are) that he saw to it personally that the Temple of Artemis in Myra be destroyed.  Since Artemis’ (or Diana’s) birthday was celebrated on Dec. 6, the story goes that St. Nick appropriated the December celebration for the Christians.  Of course, there’s probably more to it than that.

    And in keeping with our topic, anyone who has not seen this should.

  13. Santa Claus is one of those things that appears in every culture it is weird. It varies from culture to culture, but for the most part a Santa Claus like figure has been in folklore. Sorry for the bump, I was doing some folklore research. With this topic there is more Santa = Satan webpages than actual folklore. Modern day Santa is a mixture of generations of culture blending. But the stories in America is a Santa that is pieced together from some of the more major “Barbarian” tribes.

    The Santa Claus folklore has been intertwined with the Yule festival, since way back when. Yule or the Winter Solstice is not really a religious festival. Yule or the Winter Solstice is also known in some places in Europe as the coldest day of the year. The Nordics had these huge feasting halls and they would shut themselves in for three days. One day to prepare, One night of feasting, The next day was Clan bonding giving gifts to the children. In most pre-Christian cultures it was when a village or Clan actually came together in fellowship (not the religious kind). They did honor the Gods during these three day festivals, but they honored the Gods when they woke up. They honored the Gods before each meal. You get the idea, none of those acts could constitute a religious holiday could they? Yule, Christmas or whatever you believe in. It is not about religion, its about being together (or fellowship) with those dear and close to you. It is a time to honor those in your family that has passed, those that are still alive, and those yet to be born. I know no-one really cares about this this time of year, but during Christmas time I was working on a different set of folklore.

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