Now Christians can pretend to play a guitar without all that Satanic music.

In the ongoing quest to Christianize anything that’s remotely popular the next craze to be converted is the video game Guitar Hero. The folks at Digital Praise (Glorifying God Through Interactive Media) will soon present to you Guitar Praise:

Grab the guitar and play along with top Christian bands! Shred those riffs or blast the bass…you add a unique sound to the solid Christian rock. But watch out: if you can’t keep up, the artists will take a break and stop the music. Crank it up and try again – you’ll soon be rockin’ with the best while praising the Lord!

Key Features:

  • Features hit songs from popular Christian rock bands – (see list below)
  • Includes wireless USB guitar controller.
  • Two guitars can be connected at the same time, so two guitarists can play together – either on the same track or one on lead, the other on bass.
  • Players press the fret buttons and strum on the strum bar in time to the color-coded notes as they scroll onscreen.
  • Offers over 50 songs with 4 levels of play per song – from easy to expert.  Beginners start slowly, but soon their fingers will be flying; – just like a real guitarist.
  • Onscreen lyrics reflect Christian values.  Vocalists can sing their hearts out as their friends play the guitar.
  • Record keeping lets players store high scores per song and unlock new songs in sets of six as they progress through the game and post their scores online.
  • Players can also earn new guitars with richer sounds and different effects.

Works on Windows and Mac computers.

The track list has some pretty amusing titles in it too such as: The Flame in All of Us and Rebirthing. Hoo boy! We’re going to have a fun time tonight!

25 thoughts on “Now Christians can pretend to play a guitar without all that Satanic music.

  1. I can just see Christmas morning.
    “What do you mean I can’t play Guitar Hero anymore?”
    “Grandma bought you Guitar Praise, you have to play that know.”
    “Fucking Grandma. I wish she was dead.”

  2. I’m gettin my pecker ready for some of that Christian lap dancing/snake handling!
    Or “Pentecostal Girls Gone Wild!”

  3. I’ll be the voice of dissent here and say I think it’s a cool idea that if there’s music they (not me, mind you) are interested in or prefer, they create a product for themselves that delivers it, rather than insisting that stores ban “Guitar Hero” (etc.) because of some objectionable tunes on it.

  4. Fair enough, Dave.
    What I find objectionable though is their habitual co-opting of things that they were condemning as evil and trying to suppress only the day before. And lord, some of the incongruous results! -who remembers “Stryper” the Christian heavy metal glam-rock band?

  5. I’ll go along with ***dave here- if there’s a market for this, more power to them, as long as I don’t have to listen to it.  I once accidentally tuned in to a Christian station and heard two earnest girls singing “My Uncle is no Monkey” in close harmony- before I could change channels, it got seared into my brain, and I doubt I will ever be free of the burning stupid of it.

  6. is their habitual co-opting of things

    It’s the sincerest form of flattery.

    Except money.

    Which may also play a role.

    Earned for go(o)dly reasons and purposes only, of course.

  7. Earned for go(o)dly reasons and purposes only, of course.

    Being able to pun in a second language is no mean feat.  Props, ingolfson.

  8. Ingolfson:
    “If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em” is the sincerest form of hypocrisy. If a thing is evil it’s evil. And if it isn’t then their whole moral scheme is a load of bullshit.
    Their “absorption” of secular culture mirrors their grudging acceptance of scientific discoveries: first they try desperately to destroy it by denouncing it as the Devil’s work, and if they don’t succeed at that they announce that it was in the Bible all along and claim it as their own.
    Christian Heavy Metal = Intelligent Design.

  9. “If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em” is the sincerest form of hypocrisy. If a thing is evil it’s evil.

    Religion isn’t evil, buddy. It is what I consider deluded (from slightly to violently, depending on the virulence of the particular case) but evilness is separate from it. To use an old but quite factual chestnut from the religious crowd: Atheists too have killed and committed evil. A lot.

    Their “absorption” of secular culture mirrors their grudging acceptance of scientific discoveries

    I’d rather have them accept some things than be steadfast and keep totally to their old opinions. You Americans had 8 years of an administration which praised loyalty and staying the course over anything else in its propaganda. No thanks.

    Christian Heavy Metal = Intelligent Design.

    Eh?

  10. Jay: What I find objectionable though is their habitual co-opting of things that they were condemning as evil and trying to suppress only the day before.

    Ingolfson: “If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em” is the sincerest form of hypocrisy. If a thing is evil it’s evil. And if it isn’t then their whole moral scheme is a load of bullshit.

    Bear in mind that Christians are not all cookie-cuttered to the same specs.  There are some Christians who think Christian Rock is just as “evil” as non-Christian Rock.  There are others who don’t.  There are a lot that object to Christian Rock (and some to non-Christian Rock) on aesthetic, not moral, grounds, too.

  11. It’s my mom’s (Italian) side of the family that taught me to *say* “Mama Mia”!  smile

    Just don’t ask me why I kids in high school called me “Dancing Queen” … raspberry

  12. Surprisingly, I’ve actually heard of one of the artists whose music is in the game. Not heard of any of the others though.

  13. I can’t believe that this doesn’t infringe on some sort of copyright, I mean, it’s the same concept as the guitar hero franchise, carried out in the same way, even within the same format. I suppose that other similar games, like Rockstar have set a precident, but it’s still a little weird.

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