A Christian has questions on Evolution for us atheists.

WARNING! THE FOLLOWING VIDEO HAS BEEN DETERMINED TO BE A HAZARD TO YOUR I.Q. BY THE U.S. SURGEON GENERAL. LONG TERM EXPOSURE TO STUPIDITY OF THIS MAGNITUDE CAN RESULT IN PERMANENT BRAIN DAMAGE AND A TENDENCY TO VOTE REPUBLICAN. FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION IT IS RECOMMENDED THAT YOU VIEW THIS VIDEO IN SMALL CHUNKS INTERSPERSED WITH SEVERAL LENGTHY BREAKS TO ALLOW YOUR SYNAPSES TIME TO RECOVER. PERHAPS YOU SHOULD KEEP A COPY OF CARL SAGAN’S DEMON HAUNTED WORLD OR SOME OTHER FORM OF INTELLECTUALLY UPLIFTING READING MATERIAL ON HAND TO HELP COUNTER THE STUNNING LACK OF INTELLIGENCE FOUND IN THE FOLLOWING VIDEO CLIP.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED:

The stupid! IT BURNS!

Found via God is for Suckers.

54 thoughts on “A Christian has questions on Evolution for us atheists.

  1. Why are planets round ? Gee you ever hear of something called gravity. What an idiot!

    I didn’t know that the big bang was about a rock exploding. LOL

    Evolution is supported by huge amounts of evidence and can be considered a fact. This guy has it backwards. Religion is a lie!

  2. Les, even the warning was not enough of a warning. Even in all screaming caps, it was not enough.  My trust, u loses it.
    – Matt

  3. Oh dear. I’ve not laughed so much since I was five years old and first discovered Tom and Jerry.

  4. Matt, I would’ve put a loud air raid siren into the post as well as lots of flashing lights, but it would’ve taken a huge rewrite of the template.

    Josh, violence is never the answer. Intensive remedial education might help, but you can’t beat the stupid out of people. It’s been tried.

  5. Someone ever tell him the earth is not perfectly round?

    He looks kinda like you, Les wink

  6. BWAHHHHHH! I feel like yelling loudly. This guy is hopeless. He clearly doesn’t want to hear any evidence for evolution. it is deluding of the highest power. He even said some of the genuine arguments against his claims and said he didn’t want to hear it. Hopeless, I have never seen such a close minded person.

  7. 1) Planets.  Same reason as soap bubbles are spherical. That’s your simple question answered. However…
    2) Deer. Knowledge isn’t genetic
    3) Fish.  Fishermen find there are old, wily fish who know how to remove bait from hooks.
    4) Hammerhead sharks. As opposed to the whale’s back legs- those ones God designed to be embedded in all the blubber. Or the failures of the human eye. The utterly riduclous mechanism for producing sperm- the human body is at 37’C, sperm only reproduce at around 35’C hence this ridiculous architecture.
    5) Tornados.  Same situation as lightning 2000 years ago.
    6) Stupid parents- Rejecting your parents is a teaching of Christ.  We don’t hate all believers, just the ones like you, who start the fight.  Atheists don’t go round knocking on peoples’ doors, and saying “Have you heard the good news about Nils Bohr”.

    BONUS ANSWER (Special offer- get 6 answers, get one free)
    “All this science shit”. Siad the man using a VIDEO CAMERA to use ELECTRICITY to record onto a COMPUTER, and upload to the INTERNET, while wearing his PRECISION GROUND SPECTACLES, and MAN MADE FIBRES.

    Re evil/stupid twin- “Sunset Beach” plots.

  8. the most outrageous claim i saw on the video was “all faiths unite” at the end. now that would go a way toward proving the existence of god.

  9. There’s good news about “Nils Bohr” and I MISSED IT!?!  Hussar you must come over to my house and spread the good news.  I’ll make lemonade.

  10. Talking smack on YouTube with a blunt in your hand…is that what all the kewl kidz are doing these days?

  11. He hasn’t got a clue about the argument he is trying to refute, he admits that he doesn’t understand it, then for some weird reason, decides that his confusion is our confusion and declares victory?

    I am in awe of stupidity like that.  I’d explain all the parts of the BB theory he’s mixed up about, but judging by what I’ve just seen and heard, if I started talking about Quantum BS, he’d just give me a look like a dial tone.

    It boggles the mind how someone could actually convince himself that because he doesn’t understand something, no one else does either.

  12. There’s good news about “Nils Bohr” and I MISSED IT!?!

    Just don’t go knocking at any door that says ‘Einstein’.

    Hussar you must come over to my house and spread the good news.

    If I ever win obscene amounts of money (couple of years ago the Euro lottery rolled over to £130m, which was split 3 ways), I intend to hold a SEBCon, my shout on flights/hotels etc.

    I’ll make lemonade.

    I’m hoping this is Canadian slang for decent beer/wine/whiskey.

    You have a stupid twin and an evil twin, Les?  Isn’t that triplets?

    No because Evil and Stupid were born two years apart. What is the double superlative of Stupid Evil Bastard- and does Les have a Bastardier twin?

  13. He looks old enough to vote. Tell me he doesn’t vote. LIE TO ME! Please tell me he doesn’t vote!  snake

  14. May your children be atheists, good sir, and more tolerant than you.

    Don’t say that, he’ll probably try to beat the devil out of them or something.

  15. He’s my Stupid Twin. As opposed to, say, my Evil Twin.

    You have a stupid twin and an evil twin, Les?  Isn’t that triplets?

    Les is the bastard of the triplets. We’ve seen STUPID Les, our Les says there’s an EVIL Les, so he himself must by default be BASTARD Les.

    Hope the others chip in for the server costs every now and then!

    1) Planets.  Same reason as soap bubbles are spherical. That’s your simple question answered. However…
    2) Deer. Knowledge isn’t genetic

    Actually, if we killed enough deer that way, over a long enough timeframe, they might evolve.

    Ah, what am I DOING? The guy has /99 damage reduction against logic anyway. He is practically invulnerable!!!

    6) Stupid parents

    Aaaah, nothing like a bit of ad hominem to round of your reasoned discourse.

  16. Les is the bastard of the triplets.

    Exactly how does that work out, ingolfson?  On second thought, never mind…

  17. Earth is round because that’s how the Magrathean made it, I think it was in the work order or something.

  18. Aaaah, nothing like a bit of ad hominem to round of your reasoned discourse.

    Ad hominem is one of my favorite spices.

  19. If that guy is the stupid twin, and there’s also an evil twin, does that make Les the bastard twin?

    Saying that reminds me of Douglas Adams “Fourth book in the trilogy”.

  20. 6) Stupid parents
    Aaaah, nothing like a bit of ad hominem to round of your reasoned discourse.

    Hope thats not for me- I was quoting the guy.  Look I had to watch that blasted video 3 times to formulate the answers.  Surely above and beyond.

    I notice Lord Klegg is quiet about the actual drink he is offering me.  I’m going to have to put him on my Christmas Card list, so I can take him off it.

  21. If that guy is the stupid twin, and there’s also an evil twin, does that make Les the bastard twin?

    Saying that reminds me of Douglas Adams “Fourth book in the trilogy”.

    More accurate than you think, if there’s a ninja twin nobody has seen.

  22. 6) Stupid parents
    Aaaah, nothing like a bit of ad hominem to round of your reasoned discourse.

    Why should it be about you Last Hussar? I bet your parents are nowhere near this guy’s.

    Whoops, here I go insulting the poor fellow’s parents (at least not my own, I am a SECOND-Generation atheist, BTW).

    But then, from the evidence of that video, his parents did allow him to inherit certain… abilities. Like: “Protection from Reason” and “+5 Facial Hair” wink

  23. Don’t say that, he’ll probably try to beat the devil out of them or something.

    You’re telling me that, after that big statement he made about not hating your family, you’re telling me that you think he would beat his own children for being atheists?  Yeah, okay, I rescind the blessing.  May his children be just as dumb as he is, and not a single drop smarter, for their own safety.

  24. You’re telling me that, after that big statement he made about not hating your family, you’re telling me that you think he would beat his own children for being atheists?

    Since when have religious nutjobs had a problem with hypocrisy?  The only amazing thing about that is that they expect us not to notice.

  25. You’re telling me that, after that big statement he made about not hating your family, you’re telling me that you think he would beat his own children for being atheists?

    I don’t know if it was just me, but I was picking up some pretty strong hatred from that video.

  26. Klegg changed jobs and has less time for commenting and for drinking, however, Klegg likes this recipie: 1 Can frozen fruit juice (your choice), place in blender, fill said can with tequila/vodka/rum (coconut rum works best IMHO) and place in blender, fill blender with ice, blend, SMILE slurpies!
    As I am unable to deliver, I ofer this bit of sunshine instead.  I hope all your weekends ROCK!

  27. I’ll agree, alcohol certainly has its place as an entheogen, but it can be addictive and harmful, if not treated with respect.  For safer highs, stick with marijuana.

  28. Seriously.  By any criterion you care to measure: addictiveness, health risks, and loss of motor control while high, alcohol is more dangerous than marijuana.  It’s ridiculous that alcohol is legal and marijuana illegal most places, and it’s a crime and mindboggling waste of money and lives that so many people are in jail for possession of marijuana.

  29. /* begin soapbox */

    The only reason alcohol is legal and pot isn’t is because pot is relatively new to western civilization compared to alcohol.  If booze was something that was discovered when people settled the America’s, Prohibition would have worked.  Instead, there were too many Irish and Norwegians already living here, to whom liquor is simply another food group.

    Think about it.  If marijuana was used for a thousand years by Europeans and associated with strength and vitality (or at least extreme hunger), we’d have smoke houses instead of liquor stores all over the place where people could go to get stoned.  Cocaine might also have caught on if it hadn’t been pretty much been restricted to the upper classes.  Look what happened to Absinthe… outlawed because only “strange” people drank it, and it isn’t even dangerous.

    The “Drug War” has very little to do with drugs.  It’s a political football, just like immigration and gun control.  There’s no benefit to any politician in actually solving those issues.  The worst thing that could happen is for them to cease to be issues.

    /* end soapbox */

  30. watching Stonedcommander reminded me of a joke about two rednecks:

    Two Rednecks, Jim and Dave, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Dave and says, ‘You know, I’m tired of going through life without an education.

    Tomorrow I think I’ll mosey on over go to the Community College and sign up fer some classes. Dave thinks it’s a good idea, and the two leave.

    The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of
    Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math,
    English, history, and Logic.

    ‘Logic?’ Jim says. ‘What’s that?

    The Dean says, ‘I’ll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater? ‘Yeah.’ ‘Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.’

    ‘That’s true, I do have a yard’

    ‘I’m not done,’ the dean says. ‘Because you have a yard, I think
    logically that y ou would have a house.’

    ‘Yep, I do have a house.’

    ‘And because you have a house, I think that you might logically
    have a family.’

    ‘Yep, I have a family.’

    ‘I’m not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you
    must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.’

    ‘I am a heterosexual. That’s amazing, you were able to find out
    all of that because I have a weed eater.’

    Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean’s hand and
    leaves to go meet Dave at the bar. He tells Dave about his classes,
    how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

    ‘Logic?’ Dave says, ‘What’s that?’

    Jim says, ‘I’ll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?’

    ‘No.’

    ‘Then you’re a queer.’

    Stonedcommander must be Jim. Gotta be.

  31. This guy needs to stop thinking in a fixed 6,000 years timeframe and move on to a larger scale of life, like 6 trillion+ years, possibly trillions of trillions for what speck of knowledge we have accumulated.

    He also needs to figure out that other “theory” called gravity.

    I can’t even finish the video. Its just too sad.

  32. I can’t bear to watch.  And Moloch, I think 6 trillion+ years might be a bit overkill, 15 billion should be more than sufficient (15 billion for the whole shebang, 4.5 billion for the earth, 1-2 billion for life on earth).

  33. Maybe Moloch believes in the “many-big-bangs-and-then-crunchies-again”-theory.

  34. Exactly. It would be foolish to think there has been only ONE cycle. You don’t get that kind of compression and energy release out of nowhere!

    Until we find out exactly what created the universe, where the energy/matter came from and what the universe exists within we can’t do more than guess the actual age of the universe.

    Who knows, it could have already done a few billion crunch/bang/expand/collapse cycles before we came along.

  35. So, after the next collapse/crunch/bang cycle we may not have to put up with this kind of stupidity? Hey, I can dream, can’t I?  tongue wink

  36. Until we find out exactly what created the universe, where the energy/matter came from and what the universe exists within we can’t do more than guess the actual age of the universe.

    If “this universe” is what is occurring between the bang and the next crunch, then absolutely we can figure out the age of the universe.

    The only problems I have with the collapse/crunch/bang cycle is that you’re still looking for where everything in the cycle came from (ie how the cycle began) and you’ve got the same questions you would have with just one big bang.  It all comes down to one thing eventually, unless you want to throw out the idea of any big bang to start this universe (or this cycle) and go with some other form of universe creation…. one in which there is NO evidence for.  So if you can’t accept the idea of one big bang and you have to entertain the notion of a cycling universe, then you can’t be satisfied with just one cycling universe.  It has to be part of something else larger than that, which in turn has to be part of something else even bigger.  You’ve also got the slight problem that the expansion of the universe is accelerating, implying there can’t be a cycle because this universe isn’t going to crunch.  If you want to say that this universe can be traced back to the big bang and there was nothing ‘before’ it, that may be wrong, but it’s not foolish.  It is simply where all the evidence we’ve got is currently pointing.

  37. Right. There is “something” out there that the universe exists in but no matter how the question is looked at it results in a never ending cycle of “what caused/created it”.

    Thats the problem with all the religions, they believe that THEIR deity(ies) are what made everything but they don’t consider what made their deity(ies) or what made the deity(ies) maker(s), etc etc on into the night. Its not as simple as “Yep, thats what made everything” the way they proclaim it to be.

    The little micro-speck of actual evidence we have is not enough to make more than plausible guesses.

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