Tom Delay says: God made America to spread the Gospel!

I’m so glad Tom Delay is no longer a member of the House of Representatives, but his retirement hasn’t stopped him from spouting off with the crazy:

I know that America was created by God and it was created by God, not for wealth, personal wealth. It wasn’t created by God so that we would have the resources that we now have. It wasn’t even created by God to have the freedom that we have now. America was created by God to spread the Gospel; to spread the word of Jesus Christ and to propagate Christianity. And the reason I know that is because my entire political career is exhibited by that. The Lord walked with me …I came to Christ in the first year in Congress and now I’ve been walking with the Lord [and] he has trained me and showed me why he created this nation: to spread the Gospel.

Yep, says so right there in the Constitution.

Wait a minute! It says no such thing. Up the dosage on your medications, Tom, I don’t think they’re working yet.

6 thoughts on “Tom Delay says: God made America to spread the Gospel!

  1. “So many minority youths had volunteered…that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like myself.”—Tom DeLay

    yeah, he’s spreading the gospel all right. prick.

  2. Wow! It really is a good thing he’s out of office. Clearly, he feels that his new job involves making even more of an idiot of himself.

  3. I especially like the passage in the Old Testament that he is apparently working from:

    1 And then the Lord did sayeth unto Mezekial, knoweth this oh wicked man! In the far off land of the Cans of Ameri, there shall come a day when those who toil under the righteous eye of the king of the Island Empire shall rise up and say unto each other:

    2. Lets geteth thee unto the Ton of Bos and dumpeth the leaves of the bush that the devils from the eastern lands doth drinketh into the great and swirling waters.

    2 And then unto the Del of Philid shall we ride, and all wear hair covers the color of bone, and fancy pantaloons and doublets, at which point we shall signeth a declaration a parchment with which to smiteth our rightful king.

    3 And they did as they saideth they would, and wroteth their wrath and ire unto their rightful king, and he saideth back to them, “Ye ungrateful wretches! Doth thou thinkest I can field an Empire without the meager pittance in homage thou dost payeth unto me for the leaves of drink of the east!? Nay I say, ye shall tasteth my wrath!”

    4 And the rightful king, whose mind had grown weary with delights and insanities, praised the Lord his God and waged war on the ungrateful wretches.

    5 But the Lord was on the side of the wretches that day, as a few of the wretches were happy to spread the word of the Lord unto the savages, though the Franklin named Benjamin and the Paine named Thomas were unduly arrogant and refused to spread the word, so the Lord their God did smiteth them with the boils of the backside for four and ten days.

    6 And hearing this, Mezekial did weep with tears of joy, knowing that a great land would one day arise that would spread the word of the Lord his God. So the profit did hold a great ceremony in praise, and did sacrifice a thousand goats to his god to cleanse himself of the sin of expressing joy.

    – Mezekial 43:1-6

    Either that or Tom Delay is batshit crazy.

  4. “My Country ‘tis of Thee
    Sweet land of liberty,
    God Save the King.”

    OOPS!  red face

    Now, then, just exactly what was it that a politician was spreading?  wink

    We all know what politicians spread!!

  5. Sure! Politicians spread:

    A) Peace, Love and Understanding
    B) Sex, Drugs and Rock ‘n’ Roll
    C) Sex, Lies and Videotape
    D) VD
    E) Other (rhymes with fullbit perhaps)?

    I’m not sure which, but I think it’s definitely not A or B.

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