This poor bastard got into a tussle with some nasty bees and lived to tell about it:
James Dunsworth was clearing away cedar trees with his bulldozer on Monday when the 72-year-old hit a bee hive deep inside one of the trees. “Just about one o’clock,” he said, “I hit that tree that had all the bees in it, and those bees came up just like smoke out of that tree.”
The bees attacked Dunsworth, knocking him from the tractor and onto the ground. “They come right under the hood of that dozer, right in on me,” he explained. “I just laid there and thought, I’m going to have to do something or I’m going to die right here.
As Dunsworth rolled down a nearby hill, the bees climbed inside his mouth and ears, stinging his face and arms. “They stung in my mouth, my ears, all over my head and on my arms. I had a pair of overalls on, or it probably would have got worse,” he said.
Then, “I just happened to think about my cell phone,” Dunsworth said. He dialed 911.
Dunsworth: These bees are covering me up! Killer bees!
Dispatcher: Have you been stung?
Dunsworth: All over! They’re all over me!
Yeah, that’s a bad day to be sure. What’s weird is that the article doesn’t actually say in what way Mr. Dunsworth feels that God helped him survive the attack, though it does say:
According to Dunsworth, one thought kept him alive during these two hours of waiting for help. He had to take care of his daughter with cerebral palsy. “I got to thinking about my little daughter, and I thought, I’m going to try to fight it out if I can. That’s what I done,” he said.
“It was a terrible experience,” Dunsworth said of the torturous attack. “I wouldn’t want to see anybody go through that. That’s the worst punishment I ever had.”
Dunsworth is now recovering at JPS Hospital in Fort Worth. His muscles are still stiff, and doctors intend to watch him for a couple more days. Still, he is lucky to be alive. “I know I wouldn’t have been here today if I hadn’t had that little cell phone,” he said.
You’d think that God could do something a bit more impressive such as, say, put a protective anti-bee bubble around Dunsworth while he hauled ass across the countryside trying to get away or perhaps kick up a strong wind that blows all the bees onto a busy highway where they splatter into the windshields of passing cars in huge amounts resulting in a deadly pile up of unrepentant sinners bound for Hell. No, all God does is remind Dunsworth that he has a cell phone and a daughter that needs him.
Thanks for that big hand there, God. Must have left you dead tired from all that effort you put in.