SEB Mailbag: Clueless idiots want me to put them on my blogroll.

I suppose it’s a sign that SEB is at least somewhat popular that I regularly get emails from people who want me to add their website to the SEB blogroll. Usually these come in a form email that suggest that if I link to SomeObscureSiteDesperateForPageRank.com they’ll put SEB in their blog roll too and I’ll see tons of additional traffic as a result. These emails are almost always word-for-word identical to each other with the only difference being the name of the desperate for page rank site begging for links. The other day I got a new one that seemed, well, different:

From: tiffy.hamilton@gmail.com
Subject: Blogroll

Dear webmaster,

My name is Tiffany Hamilton, and I am contacting you regarding your Blogroll section located at https://stupidevilbastard.com/.

I’m working in association with [DesperateForPageRank Website], I have been tasked with promoting their Website, which can be found at [DesperateForPageRank.com].

It’s a comprehensive resource center featuring information and reviews on the most recent technology trends and gadgets.

I can be reached via email at Tiffy.Hamilton@gmail.com, or, if you’d like to talk about this by phone, my direct number is [redacted].

Best regards,

Tiffany Hamilton
AIM // Geeky Tiffy

That’s it. No promises of reciprocal links. No suggestions that the arrangement might be mutually beneficial. Not even a direct request for me to add them to the blogroll, just an implication that I should. I thought this was very odd and unusual so I did something I don’t normally do. I wrote a reply:

    You don’t specifically say what it is you want to talk to me about. Presumably you want me to add [DesperateForPageRank.com] to my blogroll in hopes of increasing the page rank for that site. Oddly enough you don’t try to suggest there’s any benefit to me for helping you to promote [DesperateForPageRank.com]. Most other such emails at least suggest they want to trade links even though they’d never actually put a link back to my blog on their site. You seem to think that just suggesting you’d like me to add your link will be all the motivation I’d need.

    In short, you need to work on your sales pitch a bit.

    Les

I didn’t expect a reply, but today I got one:

Dear Les,

Thank you for the response. Unfortunately I don’t have the ability to alter code to the site. Thank you for considering the site!

Best regards,

Tiffany Hamilton
AIM // Geeky Tiffy

I actually laughed out loud at this. My policy for the blogroll is very simple: If I read a site regularly and it has an RSS feed then it goes in my blogroll. I’m not asking for reciprocal links or cash for placement in my blogroll—though I doubt I’d turn either one of them down if proffered—I just ask that your site be interesting enough for me to want to read it. The traffic increase you’d likely get from SEB is nothing compared to some blogs out there anyway so it’s not like I’m trying to horde my little fiefdom on the net. If you’ve got a cool site I’ll probably blogroll it, but the approve approach isn’t the way to get me interested.

Try something more like:

Hey Les!

We dropped by SEB and noticed your a big fan of movies/gadgets/video games. It just so happens we’ve got a website devoted to that topic that we think you might enjoy reading. Check it out and drop us a note telling us what you think as we’d love to get some feedback.

And thanks for your time!

Sincerely,

Some Random Website Trying To Get Eyeballs

No promises of link exchanges and no groveling to be added to the blogroll are needed. Do you know why they aren’t needed? Because bloggers tend to blog about shit they like and if I like your shit I’m likely to at least blog about it and if I really like it, and you have an RSS feed, you’ll end up in the blogroll. Better yet if I don’t like it I probably won’t end up blogging about what a clueless twit you are for sending out a ham-handed email pitch. 

8 thoughts on “SEB Mailbag: Clueless idiots want me to put them on my blogroll.

  1. I’ve had a couple of those kind of requests turn up in the comments sections on mine.  Not a good way to do it as there’s no guarantee I’ll read the comments, especially when they’re made to a post i made weeks or months ago.

  2. I’m finding that my new sales pitch is sublime, and usually takes the very breath away from my page rank quarry, who I stalk as a veritable starving puma would a life giving, page-rank-bloated gazelle:


    Dear [owner of site who will eventually cave and link to mine],

    My name is Michael.

    I have a nickel.

    I’ll give it to you if you add [my amazing site in need of eyeballs] to your blogroll.

    Cheers, Michael – aka [some wonky pseudonym]


    Why does this work so well?  Here are the secret steps:

    1 – send a copy of the message every day for a month to your quarry.
    2 – don’t remove the replacement text, people love getting form letters in the raw.  Especially the same one.  Over and over.

    Elwed – yours are in the mail smile

    Cheers!

  3. personally i find your requirement of an rss feed to be included on your blogroll to be both discriminatory and disenfranchising; when i become president of the united states i will outlaw this barbaric practice and be freedom back to the american people.

    – vote often, vote bakiwop

  4. Having read your campaign site I would happily vote bakiwop. As a foriegn national I am unable to do so.  When you are elected please change the law so I am allowed to retroactively vote for you.

    “Walking for president, because running is too hard work”

  5. Bakiwop, the requirement is one of necessity. I cannot add your site to Google Reader if you don’t have an RSS feed and I user Google Reader to generate my blogroll. It’s a limitation of the tool I am using, but it accurately reflects the sites I’m currently paying attention to so it is worthwhile.

  6. Last_Hussar:  as a citizen of America I cannot in good conscience ask you to break any law to vote for me.  as a politician who really really really wants to be President i say find a way man!

    Les: perhaps i should have used the sarcasm tag – of course you cannot add a site to a blogroll without rss.  in my attempt to be snarky i have failed utterly.  in my attempt to be president i shall succeed magnificently!

    or not.

    – vote often, vote bakiwop

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