I am selling Stupid Evil Bastard.

For reasons that aren’t entirely clear to me some business suit types at one of the bigger media entertainment websites have offered me a god-awful amount of money for the rights to the Stupid Evil Bastard website. I can’t fully disclose just how much money is involved nor the company as of yet because the deal hasn’t been finalized, but let’s just say that it’s enough that I won’t have to worry about working again any time soon. At first I was sure this was a prank, but over the past few days I’ve had a few phone conversations with the gentlemen involved and it seems to be entirely on the up and up. Apparently they think I’ve managed to build SEB into some sort of angry non-conformist mecca that they hope to capitalize on to sell a new line of clothing with snarky and sardonic messages on them. The one drawback to this development is that I have to sign a non-compete clause promising not to start up another website featuring my particular brand of foaming at the mouth rantings for the next five years so as not to draw audience share away from SEB. Until the deal is final I’ll continue blogging here as usual.

As much as I love blowing hot air all over the interwebs, this was too good a deal to pass up. Someone’s basically paying me a ridiculous sum of money to shut my mouth while they cynically exploit the brand I’ve spent the last six years building up. They say everyone has a price and these guys more than exceeded mine. Given the troubles I’ve had trying to get back on my feet since being laid off from Ford Motor Company, well, I hope you won’t hold my selling out against me for too long.

Who am I kidding? You can hold it against me all you want. I’ll be too busy sipping Mai Tais on some tropical beach somewhere to notice anyway.

21 thoughts on “I am selling Stupid Evil Bastard.

  1. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bas- I mean a nicer guy.  See you on the Riviera, Les.

  2. You are a convincing writer, Les.  My bullshit meter can make it all the way through an hour of network news without recalibration; but about a quarter of the way down the page I actually got just a little bit, maybe two or three seconds, of that “Oh, no!”  feeling before I came to.

    Now I am ashamed that I still haven’t been able to come up with a good one this year, Loki damn me.  I guess this year I’ll have to go to my backup plan, which is to wait until June or July when nobody expects anything!  4th of July pranks are a great way to catch people off guard and express some independence at the same time.

  3. Even if it were true I’d be telling you to go for it!

    Happy April Fool’s!

  4. I actually got a couple of emails from folks who lurk on the site and don’t read the comments who thought this was real. But alas I won’t be sipping Mai Tais on tropical beaches anytime soon.

    I mean we’re a fairly popular blog, but we’re not THAT popular yet. grin

  5. Yeah, it took me all of 1 second to figure it out (can’t say how long it would have been if I hadn’t been warned by the other April’s fools posts that came later).

    Now if you had added this via a single, slighty bitter-sounding “Screw you” kinda comment in a thread somewhere (like seemingly as a response to someone flaming the discussion) it would have been a lot more realistic – but I guess only hardcore readers would have ever seen it there!

    Keep on the good work, Les – your cult (eh, readership!) will follow you. Though those t-shirts… man, we really need some of thoose!

  6. If you sell your shit just remember the posts I wrote for you. Hell if it goes by comments this one should get me a pretty cutcool smile

    Anyways, I am glad you’re not really selling out. I’m not sure where I would waste my time on the tubes if you threw in the towel. And wherever that time was spent it wouldn’t be as rewarding.

  7. Well thank you Webs. That’s a very gratifying thing to hear you say. It’s my goal to lower productivity in offices all around the world with my electronic scribbles.

  8. Definitely a good one, Les!  I’m reading and thinking some religious group’s offered a pile ‘o cash to shut you up and try to subvert us through SEB branding.

  9. Well, just for that, I’m going over to the Dark Side and voting for G.W. Bush. Oh, wait, it’s already April 2. Then, again, G-mail has just offered to back-date 10 entries each year – hmmm. Decisions, decisions.  snake

  10. Guys, a polite request…

    if you spot an April Fools joke, please don’t instantly blurt it out in the comments. You are depriving other people of the joke. This joke didn’t even get past the first comment. That’s no fun.

  11. It’s my goal to lower productivity in offices all around the world with my electronic scribbles.

    Yes, it’s called the SEB Effect. In fact Bush is not the cause for the economic downturn. SEB Effect has a larger presence than many think. wink

    if you spot an April Fools joke, please don’t instantly blurt it out in the comments

    Just give it a day at least.

  12. I’m behind on reading my blog subscriptions, so I just saw this today and didn’t notice the date.  I was reading the other comments on my way to the bottom, to tell you how much I’d miss reading your blog, when I started seeing the messages saying it was an April Fool’s Day joke.  Only then did I scroll back up and see the date.

    You definitely fooled me, and it was a convincing prank at that!  Good one!  ROFLMAO

  13. Ha! smile  That’s the only time I can recall ever having fallen for an April Fools joke. Although, in my defence, it’s now the 17th.

    That’s the final straw… I’m donating when I get my next pay check.

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