Gnomes Gone Wild!

Apparently they’re very credulous down in Argentina. Recently a bunch of teenagers sitting around on the street after dark in the town of General Guemes managed to catch a “gnome” on video using a camera phone before they freaked out like little babies and ran for their mommas. Really, you can see the video below:

By golly that does look vaguely like a gnome. Or at least someone surprisingly small dressed up like a gnome. According to this article in The Sun it’s been “terrorizing the citizens there for quite a while now:

COPS in a town plagued by sightings of a creepy ‘gnome’ have launched a full-scale investigation – after records showed locals have reported seeing the creature for DECADES.

The knee-high person – who wears a pointy hat and has a distinctive sideways walk – was caught on video two weeks ago by a terrified group of youngsters.

Millions of stunned people viewed the chilling clip after The Sun reported the tale – with some sceptics claiming the footage just showed a dwarf causing mischief.

Yeah, that’d be my guess. Someone very small who’s having some fun with some extremely credulous people.

Only weeks before it was captured on camera, spooked rail workers called the police to say they had spotted the crab-walking gnome side-stepping its way around the train tracks at night.

National newspaper El Tribuno has reported that fear is now so widespread that the town mayor Salta has been inundated with calls from terrified locals and has launched a full scale police enquiry into the affair.

He said: “I am a little sceptical because I have never personally seen these gnomes – but it’s definitely possible that they exist.

“People here believe in them and we have to respect that.

“I do not think that it is completely impossible. Gnomes are part of our culture here.”

And Police Commissionaire, José Luis Núñez – who has been charged with tracking down the creature’s lair, said: “I personally believe in gnomes as I saw one when I was a child.

“But so far we have not been able to determine whether the figure on tape was real or not.”

A local poll showed 90 per cent of General Guemes 30,000 residents believed gnomes stalked the streets at night.

Wow, all this excitement over a little dude in a hat who walks sideways. What do they expect this gnome to do? Bite their ankles off? It doesn’t appear to move very fast and you could probably drop kick it into the next county if it tried to attack you so stop being a bunch of pussies. The next time one of you sees it walk right up to it and figure out just what the hell it is. That’s what I’d do. I’d probably call my friends over too on the off-chance it might be worthwhile to tackle the little bastard and reveal just what it is so people can stop acting like idiots about it.

Or maybe not. Perhaps this is the only fun that little person has. In that case I’d see if I couldn’t make friends and then help spread the mischief by finding overly credulous people for him to dance around in front of. Perhaps start up a gnome protection business selling craptastic products to the idiots fine citizens of Genera Guemes guaranteed to keep evil gnomes out of their homes. Split the profits with the little gnome dude and call the whole thing “Gnomeland Security.” Yeah that’d be a great idea!

8 thoughts on “Gnomes Gone Wild!

  1. Hey, my Einstein Necklace that deflects alien death rays also protects you against gnomes, elves, and agents of the Matrix!  Only $599.99!

  2. My rock that protects me from tigers and bears can certainly be made available for gnomes. I just need to get it away from the bear patrol.

  3. The problem here is… you appear to believe ‘The Sun’.  The Sin a Murdoch owned, scandle-mongering right wing, racist, xenophobic, homophobic bundle of lies whose ‘readers’ are famously the butt of jokes due to the fact that, frankly, many of them are a bit thick.

  4. That’s true. I am giving them too much credit. The folks at Snopes.com check the story out and determined that it’s most likely a prank. The folks they talked to from the region are quite bemused at the idea of them being all panicked about it.

    It’s the sort of nonsense that does occur too often, though, so it makes it easy to believe a bunch of folks are acting like idiots over a midget.

  5. It looks like a little robot to me (if they can build “dogs” like in the DARPA video Les linked to recently…) Then again that might be too-hightech for some pranksters in Argentinia, even if its just the toy gnome variant of Aibo.

  6. “Chuppacabra” comes to mind.  snake
    If the Gnome’s tears are blood, could it be a reincarnation of “Mary?” Ahh, the possibilities are endless.

  7. dude he might be a poor midget guy who decided to have some fun , don’t call him a bastard or call any friends , yu could drop by and say nice costume pal

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