SEB Mailbag: Jesus Loves Me edition.

Latest from the mailbag. I’ll let it speak for itself:

From: Mike Jelinski uwmikey@charter.net
Subject: [He couldn’t think of a subject for the email]

hey satan Wannabe/poster child for hemorrhoids.

God Bless you!  Jesus/God Loves You
You’re picture/upside down Chia pet distant from the site.
Jesus Loves you anyway!

Well, I’m convinced. Where do I sign up to be a Christian?

 

20 thoughts on “SEB Mailbag: Jesus Loves Me edition.

  1. I always wonder what these people think they are doing.  Its like that great big cut and paste on the kirk cameron thread. Is just by reading it we are supposed to somehow be infused by the holy spirit (tonic, ice and slice please)?

    Les, your a recovering religeonist- can you help out?

    You rarely see these trolls again, and they never answer a direct question.  What are they thinking- is it some sort of my dad’s bigger than your dad thing?

  2. ‘Chia pet’
    A plant commonly grown by children for fun as it is suppose to resemble hair, if I am not mistaken.
    I do not believe that was not a coherent sentence.

  3. Tbacksha – thanks for definition smile

    Moloch – maybe, anyway I think he was describing the pictures he saw (and was maybe drunk)

    On judging, I think only someone who knows the intimite details about what someone was thinking + their intentions +personality is really capable of giving a fair judgement, mainly self

  4. So Les is a Satan wannabe that resembles a chia pet… but God still loves him. So does that mean Mike has dietyenvy cause he is not a chia pet and God doesn’t love him?

  5. Moloch:

    It’s right there in Matthew Chapter 7:

    7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged. 

    7:2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. 

    7:3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

    7:4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? 

    7:5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

    or in Romans 2:

    2:1 Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things.

    —————————————

    So using a little logic:

    Les has been judged by Mike
    The scriptures say the judge of others is condemned
    The condemned go to Hell

    QED…Mike is Hellbound

    Probably a moot point as True Believers (TM) consider logic a worthless tool. (Sign on a church door: Abandon logic all ye who enter here.)

  6. Webs:

    (1)God in Heaven created everything
    (2)God is omnibenevolent, and therefore incapable of creating evil
    (3)Therefore God created Hell, and by the omnibenevolence property, it is good.
    (4) Heaven is good
    (5)Since both Heaven and Hell are good Heaven = Hell

    So, in the end, it doesn’t matter
    shock

  7. Thanks to all for the informationm, I don’t thik I’ve seen one before

    Here’s a challenge – a Chia Les

    On judging – I suppose when someone judges themselves they can cause themselves guilt or pleasure, so I suppose that is like a form of heaven/hell that people temporarily send themselves to while alive

  8. Isn’t Chia one of the herbs that the Israelites were forbidden to eat in the OT?  I think it may have been:

    “Thou shalt refrain from eatething the fruit of the terra cotta beasts with either cloven or uncloven hooves, for it shalt maketh thee geteth the runs and the Lord thy God shall be angry and wrathful at thine transgressions.  Amen.”

    Mediticus 12:15

  9. He should have turned left at Albequerque. 

    I’ve seen those things.  Whats wrong with the shell of a boiled egg with tissue paper and cress seeds- draw a face on th eshell, and presto- his hair grows.

    This mabe be the other problem of the athiest liberal left- we seem to be unable to focus on the subject.

  10. My 3 favorite quotes in regards to religion.

    Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion—several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn’t straight.—Mark Twain

    “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”— Mahatma Gandhi

    A cult is a religion with no political power.—Tom Wolfe

    =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

    Well, at least it was only an email and you didn’t have to talk with le douche.  At the beginning of the summer I had a couple members of the Church of LDS come by my house while I was doing some yard work wanting to talk to me about gods plan for me.  I told them I wasn’t interested, but they kept pushing so I asked them a series of pointed questions their answers were always proved from the irrevocable truth (depending on your interpretation) of the holy bible and the presence of the Bible was proof of the lord himself. 

    So instead of arguing with their silly circular logic I just finally told them that I was an atheist.  You’d think I’d told them I was Satan himself the way the recoiled and looked at me.  Anyways I think my house has been marked as a non-believer house now since I haven’t had any come by to talk to me.  Even when they go to the other houses in the neighborhood.

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