“Suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now!” - Kathy Griffin

If you watch the broadcast of the Emmy Awards on E! Entertainment this Saturday you won’t be hearing Kathy Griffin say that during her acceptance speech even though she did say it:

In her speech, Griffin said that “a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus.”

She went on to hold up her Emmy, make an off-color remark about Christ and proclaim, “This award is my god now!”

The folks at the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences felt Kathy was a tad bit over the line, ya see, so they’re going to censor her:

“Kathy Griffin’s offensive remarks will not be part of the E! telecast on Saturday night,” the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences said in a statement Monday.

According to the TV academy and E!, when the four hour-plus ceremony is edited into a two-hour program, Griffin’s remarks will be shown in “an abbreviated version” in which some language may be bleeped.

Catholic League President Bill Donohue wasn’t happy either. He released a statement saying:

“Mel Gibson. Michael Richards. Isaiah Washington. Imus. Jerry Lewis. Every time a celebrity offends a segment of the population, he pays a price, in one way or another. The question now is whether Kathy Griffin will pay a similar price for her outburst. And as we have learned, her verbal assault was calculated.

“In an interview with Houston’s gay magazine, OutSmart, Griffin described herself as a ‘complete militant atheist.’ Unfortunately, her kind of vulgar in-your-face brand of hate speech found a receptive audience on Saturday: The Hollywood Reporter says her foul remark ‘drew laughs.’

“It is incumbent upon Dick Askin, chairman and chief executive officer of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, to denounce Griffin’s obscene and blasphemous comment; a statement should also be read on Sunday. After all, it is his organization that is responsible for the Creative Arts Emmy event. Moreover, given the way the Hollywood crowd received Griffin’s remark, it falls to Askin to distance the Academy from this outrageous incident. We are contacting Griffin’s agent as well.

“It is sure bet that if Griffin had said, ‘Suck it, Muhammad,’ there would have been a very different reaction from the crowd and from the media who covered this event. To say nothing of the Muslim reaction.”

So I guess what he’s really saying here is that if Muslims can pitch a fit every time someone says something they don’t like then, by golly, us Catholics can do it too! What next? Is he going to unleash rampaging nuns on Hollywood?

News of the Academy’s decision to bleep Kathy’s remarks seems to have appeased the Great Catholic Terror for the moment, but he’s still not entirely pleased:

“The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences reacted responsibly to our criticism of Kathy Griffin’s verbal assault on 85 percent of the U.S. population. The ball is now in Griffin’s court. The self-described ‘complete militant atheist’ needs to make a swift and unequivocal apology to Christians. If she does, she will get this issue behind her. If she does not, she will be remembered as a foul-mouthed bigot for the rest of her life.”

Bigot? For saying “suck it, Jesus?” You’ve got to be kidding me. I could possibly see the claim that she’s a bigot had she said something like, “all Catholics are inbred pedophiles that should be rounded up and shot like rabid dogs” but she didn’t say anything like that. She told Jesus to suck it and if anyone should be pissed it’s Jesus and I’m sure she’d love to discuss it with him over coffee should he bother to actually show up and demand an apology.

First an apology would require that she actually, you know, felt sorry about her comments. I don’t know how many of Kathy’s shows Bill has seen, but she doesn’t seem like the sort to regret saying what she said. Secondly, she has a point about stars getting up and thanking Jesus repeatedly for winning a stupid Emmy as though suggesting that Jesus would give a shit either way. There’s a certain breed of Christian out there that’s not unique to any one denomination that seems to think they have to attribute any positive thing that happens to them, no matter how trivial it happens to be, to the efforts of Jesus as opposed to anything they themselves might have done and all Kathy is doing is poking a little fun at them. If these people really believe that their success is because of Jesus’ and not themselves then they should get the hell off the stage and let Jesus go up there and accept the award. After all he did all the hard work according to them.

In the meantime I suppose Catholic League President Bill Donohue has to do something to ensure that the Muslims don’t get to hog the lucrative Overblown Outrage spotlight all to themselves for fear that Catholics will otherwise become completely irrelevant.

32 thoughts on ““Suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now!” - Kathy Griffin

  1. What next? Is he going to unleash rampaging nuns on Hollywood?

    Well he does have his ninjas. And I guess he could always ask Opus Dei to lend him their army of gun-toting albino assassins. Plus there’s his Spanish Inquisition.That may sound unlikely but NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition.

  2. The Catholic League is an organization that pushes an agenda that I adamantly oppose and Donahue has been called a buffoon on more than one occasion. Coming from him, an accusation of hate speech is high praise. I sure hope Ms. Griffin doesn’t back down.

    Another Pat Condell quote that suitable for the occasion:

    Hi, I’m Pat Condell.
    I don’t respect your beliefs
    and I don’t care if you’re offended.
    Cheers.

  3. Never been a fan of Kathy Griffin…

    Sorry, I had to check out what Emmy she had won, if it had anything to do with comedy I think my head would have imploded.  Luckily it was only for a relatively crappy Reality TV award.  Okay, I can step off the hate train for a minute. 

    Her remarks don’t seem that out of line, but I guess anytime anyone invokes ‘ole J.C.‘s name in jest someone will have to be “offended”.  The sad fact is that the individuals that are offended and feel the need to let everyone know tend to be some of the most offensive people I’ve ever met.

  4. Good for her!

    Funny enough, I had a similar thought this past Feb after watching the Super Bowl highlights.  This is what I wrote in my journal:

    Post Super Bowl thoughts…
    If it was all God’s fault that you won the game, isn’t that cheating? You used a higher power to win a football game. If it was not all your training and hard work… do you really deserve the trophy and endorsements?
    I would laugh out loud at if someone had their championship revoked because of that.

  5. I hadn’t heard of Kathy Griffin until I watched “My Life On The D List”—and she is GREAT.

    She doesn’t strike me as the type to make bullshit apologies.

    OUTSTANDING REALITY PROGRAM
    KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST

  6. They should bleep out the entire thing because she’s the worst media whore in Hollywood.  Lohan, Spears, and Hilton aren’t nearly as pathetic as she tries to be.  One or two episodes of her show might be funny but try watching just one entire season (esp. the latest one) and tell me you don’t hate her.  It was the only thing on tv this summer where I was and I had no power to change the channel.  There isn’t a celeb in Hollywood remotely as obnoxious or idiotic as I find Kathy Griffin to be.  I don’t care what she said.  The statement itself doesn’t bother me.  It’s the fact she was considered for any kind of award that bothers me.

  7. I demand a “Suck It, Jesus!” bumper sticker. Immediately. Oh, and a car to stick it to. “Suck It, Muhammad” has a nice ring to it, too.

    Not a big fan of Kathy Griffin, but this just bumped her up a few points.

  8. Plus there’s his Spanish Inquisition.That may sound unlikely but NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition.

  9. I guess I don’t watch enough television as I have no idea who she is, but really.  Worshippers of an almighty god shouldn’t be that sensitive to insult. Secularists are constantly blamed for every evil.

  10. She’s funny in small doses, more so if you’re a fan of gossip as that’s primarily what her stage act is all about. I find her anecdotes about other famous people to be highly amusing, but her reality show isn’t something I make a point to watch.

    But then I’m not a big fan of reality shows to begin with regardless of who they’re about.

  11. All she did was provoke people, that won’t achieve anything by itself, it won’t change anybody’s views, it’ll just polarise things more and you’d make the xians more militant, it’d be harder to reason with them

  12. Benior, that was one occasion I was thinking of. Charming, eh.

    Well, I’d probably come off as a fool if I tried to debate Hitchens on something, but I probably wouldn’t come off as big of an ass as Bill Donohue.

  13. The Catholics don’t HAVE to send nuns to do a thing.  Catholics are the most numerous of all the Christians AND other Christians are with us.  All that needs to be done is a total and forever boycott of that ugly, foul-mouthed misfit….in others words, hit the most sensitive nerve in her body: her wallet….and keep on criticizing her behavior for the rest of her life, since she’s not going to be living any longer than this temporal existence.

  14. Had she said:

    “…a lot of people come up here and thank Allah for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Allah. So, all I can say is, suck it, Allah…”

    Not only would have been acceptable to Christians, but she would have been hailed as a hero.

    Please—such hypocrisy.

  15. What’s up with the stupid remarks about what the reactions would have been had she said “Suck it Muhammad”?  Why does she have to say “Suck it Muhammad”?  Because the Christians want her to?  Dream on!!!  Do your own dirty deeds you stupid bastards!!!  This is not the dark age when the earth was still flat, the sun still revolved around the earth and Jesus still didn’t suck!!!!  This is the 21st century!!!  Peoples’ brains have evolved now!!!

    Let me tell you Donnahue, whenever the millions of Jesus’ spokeholes and mouthpieces like you stop brainwashing people with how “Jesus died for our sins” and start brainwashing people with “Whoever do whatever for our sins” then I myself will say “Suck it Whoever” all day and night!!!!  But until then, as long as you people keep continue your propaganda about Jesus, there will be millions of us continue with our “SUCK IT JESUS!!!!”

    Talking about hypocritical, where were you Donahue when thousands of your faithful children got fucked in the ass by Jesus spokeholes like you?  I didn’t see you anywhere speaking out for them?  WHAT A HYPOCRITICAL BASTARD!!!!!

  16. And in world sport news, the USA Women’s football team have been disqualified from the World Cup for testing positive for Jesus.  A FIFA spokesman also confirmed traces of Holy Spirit were found in the dressing room.

  17. No ones ever going to be ragging on Allah – thats the line they’ll never cross.Christians are all full of bluster;militant islamists actually kill motherfuckers that piss them off.

  18. militant islamists actually kill motherfuckers that piss them off

    Christians say to me “Hey Carrot, why don’t you take the mickey out of Muslims”
    Because they’d kill me.
    -Jasper Carrot

  19. Militant Christians are just too chickenshit to strap bombs to their chest and throw themselves at police checkpoints for their superstitions. They’ve never had any trouble murdering people who piss them off, no matter how they’ll cage their reasons for doing so.

    Hell, I’ve been stuck in traffic waiting for folks in the US to clean up after Christian fundamentalism’s bombs against the unholy. It’s not what variety of fundamentalism that’s the problem, it’s that deeply held beliefs in humans often lead to violence when challenged.

  20. If you want to kill somebody, and you’re wealthy, you send cruise missiles and an “all-volunteer” army.  If you are poor, and it matters enough, you goad your disaffected youth into becoming suicide bombers. 

    (I don’t buy the idea that suicide bombers are well-off and educated.  In wealthy countries like England, maybe, maybe, but in poor countries the well-off outsource their suicide bombing to poor kids with PTSD from growing up in a war zone.  Not unlike the way our own soldiers are often from less economically successful families.)

  21. Personally, I could care less what a loud mouthed cow moos about.  Cows moo. It is their nature.  What puzzles me is what is fascinating about a cow? 

    That said, this point by Les seems to be a misunderstanding about what “certin breeds” are saying:

    …there’s a certain breed of Christian out there that’s not unique to any one denomination that seems to think they have to attribute any positive thing that happens to them, no matter how trivial it happens to be, to the efforts of Jesus as opposed to anything they themselves might have done and all Kathy is doing is poking a little fun at them. If these people really believe that their success is because of Jesus’ and not themselves then they should get the hell off the stage and let Jesus go up there and accept the award. After all he did all the hard work according to them.

    It ignores the fact most of them see themselves as vessels.  And moving onto Mook’s point, I think there is a difference between those who strap bombs to themselves and those that attempt to implement the following:

    Make me a channel of your peace,
    Where there is hatred let me bring your love,
    Where there is injury your pardon Lord,
    And where there’s doubt true faith in you.

    Lord grant that I may never seek,
    So much to be consoled as to console,
    To be understood; as to understand,
    To be loved as to love with all my soul.

    Make me a channel of your peace,
    Where there is hatred let me bring your love,
    Where there is injury your pardon Lord,
    And where there’s doubt true faith in you.

    Seems like a difference in philosophy to me, but hey, what do I know, I failed miserably at it.

  22. It ignores the fact most of them see themselves as vessels.

    Yes, most people see themselves as vessels, as God acting through them. Yet, we are the vehicle for religious conduct, and not God, as free will would have it.

    One would think that, having become tremendously successful, they would say that the philosophies gave them direction, and they tried to be good, moral people in getting this far.

    Unfortunately, I know that’s not actually going to happen. Too bad – would be a far more inspiring speech than any amount of name-dropping.

    edit: not entirely true. Someone getting up and saying

    Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! 

    would inspire some laughter.

  23. Consi: “And moving onto Mook’s point, I think there is a difference between those who strap bombs to themselves and those that attempt to implement the following:

    Make me a channel of your peace,
    Where there is hatred let me bring your love…

    I think the reason for this is that the peace-seeking Christians (like my friends at the Mennonite church here in town, who often quote the piece you just quoted, and who average 200 on a Sunday morning) are not the loudest Christians.  That sad distinction belongs to the ones who hate the most; hate Democrats, hate gays, hate Muslims, hate the French… Those are the Christians who have the largest presence on broadcast media, who buy large tracts of real-estate for their megachurches, and who have the ear of our current executive branch.  Apparently bombast sells.

    I don’t know enough about Islam to draw any broad conclusions, except to say the Islamic warmongers are doing the best job at advertising right now, like their Christian counterparts.

  24. That sad distinction belongs to the ones who hate the most; hate Democrats, hate gays, hate Muslims, hate the French… Those are the Christians who have the largest presence on broadcast media, who buy large tracts of real-estate for their megachurches, and who have the ear of our current executive branch.  Apparently bombast sells.

    It’s always the ones who subvert the message that attract the most attention. As a society, we’re more interested in pathology than normality. Americans love dirty laundry. They would rather hear about Fred Phelps’ latest shenanigans than about Reverand George Martins, a mininster in my town who promotes love and tolerance.

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