True Believers™ out to Christianize everything they can.

There’s this niche of Christians out there who seem to have this overwhelming need to take a popular idea and try to Christianize it. Take MySpace.com for example. Throw a little Jesus in it and mix on the high setting and you get HisHolySpace.com:

HisHolySpace.com is an online Christian Community that is structured on the Core Essential Doctrines of Christianity. The Bible itself reveals those doctrines that are essential to the Christian faith. They are as follows: (1) the Deity of Christ (2) Salvation by Grace (3) Resurrection of Christ, and (4) the gospel. These are the doctrines the Bible says are necessary. Though there are many other important doctrines, these four are the only ones that are declared by Scripture to be essential. A non-regenerate person, or a false religion, will deny one or more of these essential doctrines.

HisHolySpace.com separates itself from other online religious community sites, by only allowing those religions that follow these Core Christian Essentials, to be promoted on the site. Anyone from any religion is welcome to join HisHolySpace.com. But if your religion and/or your beliefs fall outside the realm of the above-mentioned Core Essentials, and it is your intention to promote your religion and/or beliefs on HHS, you may be in violation of the site rules, which could result in the cancelation of your membership. The main goal for this site is to glorify God, through Christians being able to pray, encourage, fellowship, and grow with one another. If you wish to learn and understand what orthodox Christianity teaches, and are willing to follow the rules that are set in place for HHS members, including not promoting any other faith that does not adhere to the above-mentioned Doctrines, then you are welcome here.

Note: I broke that into two paragraphs to make it a bit easier to read. I find the bit about people of other faiths being welcome so long as they don’t actually, you know, talk about that other faith on their accounts to be rather amusing. Beyond that it looks pretty much what you’d expect of a clone of an already poorly designed social networking site. It’s almost as though they just took the HTML from the MySpace templates and Christianized the text. Which is exactly what The Friendly Atheist also noticed:

Some other amusing elements here: When browsing for someone, you can’t search for Single/Married/In a Relationship/Divorced/Swinger like you can on MySpace.  Nope.  But you can search for Believers/Seekers/Either.

Good luck meeting the gay Christians.

And say goodbye to hookups.

On the profile pages, there are also many differences between the two sites.

MySpace Says… HisHolySpace Says…
Add to Friends Add to Congregation
Instant Message No Gossip IM
Add to Group Add to Small Group
Add to Favorites Save Me
Block User Condemn Me
Rank User Judge Me

All with just a wave of the Magic Jesus Wand.

Then there’s GodTube.com. See if you can guess what ultra-popular video sharing site that’s a rip off of based on.

GodTube utilizes Web based technology to connect Christians for the purpose of encouraging and advancing the Gospel worldwide.

Interestingly enough the users of GodTube.com seem to share the same penchant for using copyrighted material as normal YouTubers as I noticed more than one bit of video that featured clips from various pro-Christian films such as The Passion of the Christ. Which isn’t to say that there’s no entertainment to be found there. There’s this hilariously bad parody that attempts to Christianize the classic rap song Baby Got Back — a song about women with big asses — titled Baby Got Bible:

Which is, of course, another example of this subsection of Christian society that feels the need to usurp anything that’s popular and try to sanitize it into promoting Christianity.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised by this as they’ve been doing this sort of thing for centuries now. After all, that’s how the major holidays came to be. Take a popular pagan festival, wave the Magic Jesus Wand over it replacing the pagan icons with proper Christian versions, toss a handful of rituals that pale in comparison to their pagan counterparts into the mix, and then threaten to kill anyone who insists on sticking with the old bad version of the holiday. Of course since they stopped the whole adopt-our-improved-version-or-we’ll-kill-you part of the strategy they’ve had much less success in getting their Christianized versions of popular things adopted by the majority of the people, but that setback hasn’t slowed down their attempts to sanitize the world for your protection.

Whether you want them to or not.

34 thoughts on “True Believers™ out to Christianize everything they can.

  1. Quote within article: If you wish to learn and understand what orthodox Christianity teaches, and are willing to follow the rules that are set in place for HHS members, including not promoting any other faith that does not adhere to the above-mentioned Doctrines, then you are welcome here.

    They only want to hear what they want to hear echoed everywhere, if they really wanted to teach people about xianity they could’ve just made a site explaining stuff with a Q+A section/contact details for someone prepared to answer direct questions

    Article: Then there’s GodTube.com.

    They should’ve at least called it ChristianTube, anyway I’m not entirely sure why they’re making music videos, it doesn’t validify or explain what the bible’s trying to say, and doesn’t make trauling through the bible any more fun – they’re probably hoping to just culture wash, but then a lot of people rebel against their culture at some point to feel less restricted so they may be creating more people who grow up knowing nothing other than the faith but who leave it when they get a new idea. People who don’t feel obliged to fundie their religous culture who become dedicated xians through their own choice seem to find the religion for themselves as born-agains, so I think the best long-term stratergy for the xians would be to stop alienation through brainwashing and instead operate as sanctuary (in a protective sense against people’s fears of death and whatnot), then work from inside to use fear as fundie-ator.

    But then – my perspective but people don’t seem to stick with views so long when they’re an extreemist (in general terms), they either die fighting for it or they throw themselves onto places like SEB as a ‘crusader’ where they can be directly challenged, and where for once those fears are being dispelled rather than promoted. Another way extreemists throw themselves onto the spikes is when they attempt to convert a more secular/alternative view society, but since views are localised the effectiveness varies per faction per area, and society is a little more reserved than anomanous uncensored blogging, and so not as effective

  2. Eh, it’s ridiculously lame, but I take both as a sign that the fundies are crawling back under their rock for awhile, and good riddance.

  3. Interesting, True Believers™ don’t want us to enjoy sex, and only have it to make children to serve the lord.  But yet they have no problem referring to sexual innuendos from a rap song about woman with big asses…

  4. That song has got to be a parody. back in my catholic days I would have considered that blasphemous even though I was never more than the most liberal of catholics. i cant believe that fundies would not find it blasphemous

  5. First Conservapedia, now this? All of this fundamentalist plagiarism of mainstream pop culture only adds credence to the common observation that fundies can’t and won’t think for themselves on anything.

    Interesting, True Believers™ don’t want us to enjoy sex, and only have it to make children to serve the lord.  But yet they have no problem referring to sexual innuendos from a rap song about woman with big asses…

    I think it’s in the same category as “lying for Jesus.”

  6. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GAY CHRISTIANS!!!!! YOU CANT BELIEVE IN GOD AND LIVE A KNOWN LIFE OF SIN!!!! SAYING YOUR A CHRISTIAN WONT GET YOU INTO HEAVEN!!! IF IT DOESNT BURN YOUR HANDS TO TOUCH A BIBLE, TRY READING ROMANS 1:24-27. PAYING CLOSE ATTENTION TO VERSE 27, OR TRY LEVITICUS 18:22!! THE “FRIENDLY” ATHEIST!?!?!? LETS NOT DISCUSS ATHIESTS. THOSE WHO KNOWINGLY SEPARATE THEMSELVES FROM GOD, LIVING THEIR LIVES AS IF HE DOESNT EXIST, WHILE CALLING CHRISTIANS AND BELIEVERS ALIKE HYPOCRITES. WHOS THE REAL HYPOCRITE?

  7. First off, pick an email address Mookie. This is the second one you’ve decided to use.

    Secondly, a good many of us have read the Bible. It’s a piss-poor work of fiction at best.

    Thirdly, you’re on an atheist website. Perhaps you didn’t realize what you had wandered into.

  8. Typical christian fundamentals. Steal it and pretend the original never exsisted.

  9. Man there aint no such thing as a gay cristian , Dats like sayin a Virgin slut!!! dat dont make sense god created adam and eve, not adam and steve, I think Gay people need to keep it real, if u gonna pick dick over god then do it but just get dat non sense idea dat ur going to heaven and be gay up there,homsexuals, liars, thiefs, witches, killers, drunks, whores,are not going to the kingdom of heave only the brave shall conquer the kingdom of heaven… but if u repent n change ur ways and live acordin to gods will then u can , but do it NOW dat ur alive.. when u got a chance

  10. Virgin Slut- would that be the one who shagged an angel and told her poor husband to be it was a devine miracle.

    WTF is “dat”- there is no such word (though there is an acronym). And Ur is a ruined city in the middle East.

    Hey Mookie- in the unlikely event you read this- do you keep ALL Leviticus laws?

  11. GOOD JOB yuyis!!! LES, you say this an athiest website, but youre the bunch thats discussing the bible. even though i didnt start the discussion, i have the right to interject whatever i want, its a free country. and to Last_Hussar,1.no one ever “shagged” an angel and that would be the reason she was still a virgin, and 2.whether or not i keep all the leviticus laws is not the subject at hand. but i can can assure that i understand all of them, and that i dont twist and manipulate them to mean what i want them to mean. after reading the entire 18th chapter of leviticus, one would notice that all these laws are intended for men (execept the one about beastiality), so i can honestly say yes, i do keep all the laws. do u????
    plus i dont like fruit loops.
    (and i can only assume that Last_Hussar and KPatrickGlover are english teachers…)

  12. YoYo, if your god is as powerful as you think he is, he created Adam and Eve as well as Adam and Steve.
    If you were half the xian you try to sell us you are you would love all of your imaginary friend’s creations.
    And, you’re a lucky little fucker; with the advent of SMS talk you can convince yourself it’s not important to know anything about grammar or spelling.
    Of course most of us here see you for what you are – a typically illiterate fundie who we tag under ‘Don’t be that guy’ and ‘True Believers™’ whilst young mothers point you out to their children saying: “if you don’t do your school work you’ll be destined to a mcjob like that mclown if you’re mc-fucking-lucky” … okay, she wouldn’t really say mclown.  LOL

  13. Nookie: i have the right to interject whatever i want, its a free country.

    You only have one right here and that’s to entertain. When you cease doing that Les has every right to delete you.
    So dance, little merkin, dance.

    And just an unrelated, nevertheless amusing, titbit about the merkin:

    Houghton Mifflin’s American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, 4th edition describes the term’s etymology as stemming from an “alteration of obsolete malkin, lower-class woman, mop, from Middle English; from Malkin, diminutive of the personal name Matilda.”

    I wonder if anyone’s told Michelle her surname is the equivalent to pretend box hair.

  14. Ummm… theres WITCHES in the kingdom of HEAVE??? – fuck i’m scratching that place off my holiday list wink

  15. mookie: bla bla bla i have the right to interject whatever i want, its a free country.

    Wrong, you have no such right. It’s debatable whether “its” is a free country, but in either case, this is a private website. Everybody posts at the sufferance of the site owner. If you and your buddies make enough of a nuisance out of yourselves, he’ll find creative ways to change your user names, devowelize your posts, or delete them outright. Cry me a river if it comes to that.

    bla bla bla
    (and i can only assume that Last_Hussar and KPatrickGlover are english teachers…)

    The point isn’t who is and who isn’t an English teacher, but that the overwhelming majority of True Believers™ who make their invariably short-lived appearances on this site share a number of common traits: Their grasp of spelling and grammar is tenuous at best, they don’t break their rants into paragraphs for readability and clear expression of ideas (get help here: English as 2nd Language: Paragraph Writing), and they’re not usually lucid enough to justify reading their “contributions” in the first place.

  16. yuyis wrote:

    only the brave shall conquer the kingdom of heaven

    Hay, wate a minut, I taught da kindom of heaven was a reward dat u git fer beeing a gud christian?  Do you mean to say that you’re actually going to wage war against heaven or be some kind of insurgent in order to conquer it?  I am very confused.

    mookie wrote:

    and i can only assume that Last_Hussar and KPatrickGlover are english teachers…

    Why do you need to be an english teacher to recognize poor spelling and grammar?  Do you need to be a theologian to recognize poor philosophical and religious arguments? 

    so i can honestly say yes, i do keep all the laws.

    Do you keep all the laws in the Old Testament, or just those you cherry pick and then say you keep?  Are you all set to marry your brother’s wife if he dies?  Will you stone your unruly children?  Eat any shellfish lately?

  17. Mookie: i have the right to interject whatever i want

    You have the right to remain silent (and we wish you fucking would), anything you say may be used against you (so we’ll continue to make fun of all the idiotic crap that you post).

    You have the right to an attorny (although we only have one of those around here and he’s not overly sympathetic to illiterate morons, so you may be out of luck).

    You also have the right to go fuck yourself…..

  18. Another cash in on the popularity of a trend Christian site is http://www.blogpot.com, which has been around for at least three years.  Obviously they hoped to catch folks looking for Blogger.  But be warned, clicking on that link brings up a whole bunch of crap besides the badly formatted and reasoned attempt at evangelism.  Probably should be avoided if you suffer epileptic seizures from flashing things.

  19. LJ, thanks for the merkin reference. That was fascinating reading and just goes to show that even the illiterate rants of a True Believer™ can lead to a new bit of knowledge, though not necessarily from the TB themselves.

  20. Mookie: i have the right to interject whatever i want

    Of course you do. But we then have the right to make fun of the stupidity of your interjections.

    so i can honestly say yes, i do keep all the laws.

    Sold your daughter into slavery recently? No? That’s what I thought. You just pick and choose which “laws” you happen to think apply. That you have apparently picked and chosen the “law” supposedly concerning homosexuality says far more about you than about the Bible itself.

    and i can only assume that Last_Hussar and KPatrickGlover are english teachers…

    I happen to be an English major, and I can tell you that your grammar, spelling, and capitalization are positively abysmal. You don’t happen to be fifteen years old, do you? The fact is that when someone consistently utilizes terrible grammar, that person is going to be taken less seriously as a result. Of course, the fact that you are also spouting fundamentalist nonsense damages your credibility even further.

    /done feeding the troll

  21. yuyis – Gays can’t reproduce but that doesn’t make it wrong, ask yourself who exactly are gay couples harming, or quite frankly why anyone (god included) should give a damn about their sexuality. In my view something is only wrong if it harms someone. The reason to put a male with a female would be for breeding, not morality.

    yuyis: only the brave shall conquer the kingdom of heaven…

    Brave = Reckless
    One’s regarded as a compliment, one’s regarded as an insult and yet they both mean exactly the same

    yuyis: but do it NOW dat ur alive.. when u got a chance

    It would be a little unfair of god to give people no choice but to exist, then force them to live life regimentally in an arbitary way or else face eternal damnation, and give no warning as to how long they have to make the change. If god was such a judgemental asshat, fuck him.

    mookie: i do keep all the laws

    Why take it at face value? The bible has had many oppertunities for alteration by it’s writers and translators, so ask why god might want you to keep to a law. It wouldn’t be beyond human logic because anyone laying down the rules would know that people won’t do/not do things for the right reason if they don’t know why, and that the reason is the motivator for doing it for many people.

  22. whether or not i keep all the leviticus laws is not the subject at hand.

    Actually you walking collection of poorly formed literacy it is. You are the one who started yelling the odds on homosexuality being against Leviticus.

    so i can honestly say yes, i do keep all the laws

    Really? All of them? Including the obscure ones on shaving, and the ones on mixed fibres?  Have you actually read Leviticus. Laws fine for a small nomadic desert tribe, but completely nonsensical for the 20th Century West.  Is stoning children to death for rudeness acceptable?

    i can only assume that Last_Hussar and KPatrickGlover are english teachers

    2+2=5.  I assume only mathematicians are allowed to correct me in the mookiverse. I don’t have to be a psychologist to know what ever you’ve got it’s hard to spell.  Oh- I’m not, but wouldn’t mind if I was.

    Question for all the fundies out there. Are any parts of the bible not literally true?

  23. Last_Hussar and TAFKA Buzz…i believe i said LEVITICUS CHAPTER 18. we ARE dicussing gay christians right? homosexuality goes against leviticus and romans. because of the fact that leviticus is in the old testament, there are a lot of odd laws. some people dont believe that the laws in the old testament are meant for people today. thats why it was also discussed in the new testament. LuckyJohn19, i love all homosexuals. i love them enough to show them the truth. and to that so-called “Sexy” Sadie…i said teacher NOT major…thanks for trying though.
    you all have the right to say what you want. and i see youve all taken advantage of your right to be wrong. i have no problem with you disputing anything i say. it makes for a good, healthy discussion. (and i dont have to use inappropriate language to get my point across)

  24. Mookie Said: after reading the entire 18th chapter of leviticus, one would notice that all these laws are intended for men (execept the one about beastiality), so i can honestly say yes, i do keep all the laws. do u????

    I wonder about you now, Mookie, if you think that bestiality prohibitions (according to the Bible) are only intended for women. It sounds pretty suspicious that you immediately follow “one would notice that all these laws are intended for men (except the one about beastiality)” (sic) with “so i can honestly say yes, i do keep all the laws”.

    Do you have a significant otter you’re not telling us about?

    i love all homosexuals. i love them enough to show them the truth.

    Please! Keep Mr. “Truth” in your pants, dude. Your idea of “love” is dangerous. We don’t need your tainted love and we don’t need your moronic remarks. Go save the whales or something.

    “And you think love is to pray
    But I’m sorry I don’t pray that way”

  25. LH: Go on LJ say it – “She says no”

    Actually “until she says no or the wet spot becomes too annoyingly sticky.”

    Nookie: we ARE dicussing gay christians right?

    At top of this page are the words ‘True Believers™ out to Christianize everything they can.’
    I think that makes you fairly well wrong, sunshine … but you are still one of god’s special little people. Don’t be sad. You just keep dicussing gay xians.
    Let us take a break for a tickond; I have to know. Is “dicussing” the latest fad or some special sort of xian cussing (in Oz we call it swearing or cursing) with a definition listed somewhere in Conservapedia or am I off the mark in a big way?

    i believe i said LEVITICUS CHAPTER 18.

    You may have said that but most of us here are all-or-nothing type people unlike you cherry-picking fundies.
    Be strong! Your bauble is either all literally true for you or it is not – do not be doing the ‘this bit is true and this bit is not – this bit is true and this bit is not’ spin and dance trick.
    Smoke and mirrors, mirages and invisible deities don’t really do it for most of us here – we have chosen to become un-enslaved from childish delusions.

    i love them enough to show them the truth.

    I love the way you fundies talk about The Truth as though there is only one and you have it.
    Could I venture out onto the tip of a philosophical branch and suggest any truth is the truth to someone, or even, everyone’s truth is true for them.

    But Nookie, I understand your thrall and after all is said and done, why wouldn’t you defend whatever delusion you think is keeping you safe this year?
    By the way, I am aware there’s good money to be made from the xian scam if you can keep a straight face. 

    Go save the whales or something.

    I think the whales are abso-fucking-lutely sick of Jonah and his moronic mates wailing about The Truth, Brock.  LOL

  26. Mookie writes…

    (and i dont have to use inappropriate language to get my point across)

    Eh, fuck you.

    Gets the point across in a much more succinct manner if you ask me.

  27. Fuck is such an expressive word. If you say ‘Fuck Off’ to a non Anglophone, they know exactly what you mean.

    Anyway…

    Spookie
    Surely you have to take all of Leviticus, or none of it. How do you pick and choose which bits to take?

    In Romans Paul is not acting as a prophet in the same way as Leviticus did- he is not passing on a revealed truth.  Instead he is giving his opinion.  That opinion IS solidly based in biblical law, I grant you, but it is based on the Bible, not a revelation.  Paul is therefore what is known as a secondary source.  He is basing his belief system on Jewish law.

    No Christian on this site has ever been able to tell me where in the NT it makes clear which laws we can safely ignore (mixed fibre clothes) and which we have to keep (homosexuality)  Virtually all the laws we kept (and are shared by cultures around the world) are those where there is a victim- Murder etc. Homosexuality stands out as one of a only a few ‘moral crimes’ where there is no victim. Who is actually hurt by same sex relationships?

  28. IF IT DOESNT BURN YOUR HANDS TO TOUCH A BIBLE, TRY READING ROMANS 1:24-27.

    Well I used to get hit over the head with Bibles in my Chinese school as well as use them as building blocks, but they never burned me =O

    And I think someone doesn’t know what hypocrite means.

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