Yes folks, there are still people in the world today who believe they hold the knowledge of “real” alchemy and they’re going to hold an International Alchemy Conference in Las Vegas:
Don’t miss this rare opportunity to meet and work with practicing alchemists from around the world! Practitioners will share both practical and spiritual techniques in this intensive, multimedia event. The emphasis is on real alchemy, and the goal is to inform and empower individuals with the ancient wisdom. Practical methods of transformation in both laboratory and inner work will be featured throughout the event. There will be lots of opportunities for informal meetings, plus free prizes, entertainment, and other fun surprises.
The alchemists tried not only to change base metals into gold but also rejuvenate their bodies, integrate their personalities, and perfect the very essence of their souls. Although they spoke of retorts, furnaces, and chemicals, they were really talking about synchronous changes taking place in their own bodies, minds, and souls.
It appears that alchemy has moved beyond simply being a pseudo-science into being pseudo-religious. Here’s some of the amazing things you’ll learn at the conference:
· Discover the secret history of alchemy and how it is practiced today.
· Learn the secret formulae and processes of the alchemists.
· Learn how to set up an alchemical laboratory in your own home.
· Be able to recognize hidden “signatures” of people and events.
· Learn to make tinctures and elixirs that capture spiritual energy.
· Resonate with the magical power of alchemists’ symbols and drawings.
· Awaken powerful energies to fuel your continuing transformation.
· Understand how the ancient principles work in your own life.
· Learn how to transmute emotions and thoughts into purified consciousness.
· Take part in meditations and experiments demonstrating esoteric principles.
· Discover ways to harness the life force for alternative healthcare and continuing rejuvenation.
· Exchange the latest research in such diverse areas as the history of science and quantum chemistry.
· Learn to make alchemical tinctures, oils, elixirs, and other products in the privacy of your own kitchen.
· Become a certified alchemical practitioner or apply the principles in your present career.
· Turn lead of everyday life into the gold of health, wealth, and new opportunities.
How could I refuse the opportunity to recognize hidden “signatures” of people and events or transmute emotions and thoughts into purified consciousness? I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean, but I’m sure it must be a wonderful thing to do. So how much does a reservation for this amazing conference cost?
Current registration for all three days of the event is $235. After June 1, registration increases to $285.
Just a mere $235! And you can mail your payment to their payment processor which, for some reason, has a P.O. Box as an address… nothing at all slightly suspicious in that. But wait! There’s more! (… that’ll cost you more money!)
REGISTER FOR SPAGYRICS WORKSHOP
During the conference, formal instruction in basic and advanced techniques of spagyrics will be offered by by Robert Allen Bartlett, chief chemist at the Paracelsus Research Institute. The three-hour workshop will be held in two parts after lectures on Saturday and Sunday. $45.
So altogether, if you register for this “spagyrics”
nonsense workshop you’ll be set back $280 if you register early and $330 if you don’t. Not to mention whatever the vendors can squeeze out of you.
Now if you’re like me you’re currently wondering to yourself what the fuck “spagyrics” is. Here’s what the site has to say about it:
During the conference, formal instruction in basic and advanced techniques of spagyrics will be offered. Spagyrics (spa-gîr-iks) is a Greek word meaning to separate and recombine. Spagyrics was the basis of Paracelsus’ work, and he is often considered its father. The spagyric process is a three-fold process of separation, purification, and cohobation (reunion of the purified parts). During the process, the essences of the substance are exposed and reborn under planetary influences. The spagyric product is considered to be at a higher level of potency able to effect not only the physical body but also the underlying or spiritual cause of disease. This class will meet twice during the conference. Certificates of completion and credit in the Alchemy Home Study Program will be provided by Flamel College. Taught by Robert Allen Bartlett, chief chemist at the Paracelsus Research Institute.
Huh. Sounds like a variation on the homeopathic gobbledygook. Anyway it’s one of several workshops being offered each with an increasingly silly name— ARCHETYPAL ALCHEMY: MADNESS AND THE TRANSFORMATION OF THE PSYCHE/MATTER CONTINUUM —each being taught by people who claim this stuff actually works. Some of them even have Ph.D.s which is a good reminder that even very smart people can get caught up in some very silly beliefs. Not surprisingly many of these folks are also into homeopathy as well.
So if you’re looking for a way to blow a couple hundred bucks to spend some time hanging out with a whole bunch of loony people while in Las Vegas come October, this is your best bet and probably cheaper than any other bets you could make in Las Vegas. If nothing else it might be somewhat amusing.