Yay! Let’s go to the Creationist Museum!

Crossposted on http://www.smugbaldy.com

The folks over at the Guardian Unlimited have an interesting report about the world’s first creationist museum, which is scheduled to open soon:

The Creation Museum – motto: “Prepare to Believe!” – will be the first institution in the world whose contents, with the exception of a few turtles swimming in an artificial pond, are entirely fake. It is dedicated to the proposition that the account of the creation of the world in the Book of Genesis is completely correct, and its mission is to convince visitors through a mixture of animatronic models, tableaux and a strangely Disneyfied version of the Bible story.

That’s right folks – a museum dedicated to the proposition that the book of Genesis is factually correct – and everything in the museum is fake.  The most interesting thing, in my opinion, is how they fit in all the dinosaurs:  They appear in the Garden of Eden – with their contemporary species, homo sapiens – prior to the fall of man.

Apparently, in order to keep some of the museum investors happy, both Adam and Eve will not appear in the nude, as the Bible says (so much for Biblical accuracy), but rather discretely and tastefully covered in some way.

 

25 thoughts on “Yay! Let’s go to the Creationist Museum!

  1. Wow.  Since when did a structure dedicated to the observance of truth and history become capable of being warped into the twisted fist of religious deception and ruthless obfuscation of what we know to be true? 

    Apparently when the king chief bastards got the keys of power.

    Well, enough about that.  Les, I love the quote on the front page and I hope at least someone is out front waving a sign protesting this bullshit.  Merry Solstice to all, except the misanthropic bastards.

  2. It was really only a matter of time.  I just hope it doesn’t attract those that are kinda of in-between, because the museum clouds the bullshit in so-called science.

  3. both Adam and Eve will not appear in the nude, as the Bible says (so much for Biblical accuracy), but rather discretely and tastefully covered in some way.

    Scamming just comes naturally to some people … and some fall for it. LOL

    Whiteblood, mate, nice comment – I was looking for a mistake (in the structure, punctuation, spelling … anywhere) and, I couldn’t find one – fucking loverly [sic], and, also perfect, too.  wink

  4. The Museum Of Plastic And Fiberglass and theme parks should he only places that have exhibits where the “artifacts” are made of plastic and fiberglass.

  5. The Guardian had it wrong, there is already a museum of creation *and theme park!!* in existence.  See here: http://www.dinosauradventureland.com/  Go frolick in the Garden of Eden which was chock-a-block full of friendly T-rexs and Brontosaurs.  You can’t make this up.

    The head of this higher institution of learning and fun has just been convicted of various tax infractions, and is set to bring the world of creationism to his fellow inmates.  Hehehehe.

  6. And how did he pass the exams? “I never lied, but if I was asked a question about the age of the universe, I answered from my knowledge of the topic, not my beliefs.”

    So he didn’t state what his beliefs were, or they examiner was happy with the answers the speed of light is not constant, and carbon dating doesn’t work?

  7. Since most of the species that have ever existed are now extinct, Eden must have been a fabulously diverse place.  So diverse, in fact, that there would be several species inhabiting each narrow ecological niche.

  8. I wonder if they plan on including some of the lesser known creatures mentioned in the bible. After all, the good book asserts that at some point in time the cockatrice, unicorn, satyr, dragon, and various “fiery serpents” roamed the land. It still amazed me how any adult with a highschool education and swallow this bullshit, smile, and beg for a second helping.

  9. Good point, and apologies for the terrible grammar. I honestly don’t know how the hell my mad-typing-skillz went to shit the moment I decided to post something.

  10. Richard Dawkins argues that indoctrinating kids by (for example) presenting fairy tales as real science by housing them in a “museum” – a place normally considered as a place of learning – is a form of abuse.

    We can laugh at this farcical bullshit, but some fundies are going to use this place to reinforce the idea that creationism has supporting evidence: that’s scary…

  11. Next thing you know, they’re going to say that the atmosphere is the floodgates that could rain down watery death upon the land and that gawd is sitting somewhere up on saturn or pluto. 

    I’m not sure how many of you all had to sit through high school religion class, but we had this odd little diagram of what everyone thought the world was, and it looked relatively similar to a snowglobe.  There were the pillars of the earth and a place for the dead inside it, a big dome which housed the world, and the sun, moon, stars all moved back and forth on the dome, which included convinent trapdoors for rain, and above all that was the “heavenly seat of divinity.”

    If i see it there I’ll go insane and laugh to death if they have it there.  After all, who doesn’t deserve a little earthglobe for their solstice present?

  12. I hate it when religious nuts try to reconcile religion and science.  They act as though their beliefs are to be assumed true by default and they use any failure of real science as arguements against the entire scientific method.  They seem to think that disproving evolution proves creation. (not that they have disproved evolution of course, but they would like to think they have)  Rather than back up their silly beliefs, they try vainly to poke holes in other theories! (ok I’ll stop now as I am just getting angry and beginning to rant incoherently)

  13. The head of this higher institution of learning and fun has just been convicted of various tax infractions, and is set to bring the world of creationism to his fellow inmates.  Hehehehe.

    I’m sure you’ll all be happy to know that Dr. Dino™, the irrepressible Kent Hovind, is blogging from jail, and has already saved five fellow inmates.  Reading the comments there on the good “Doctor’s” Jesus-like persecution is a sobering glimpse into the mind of the fundy.  Warning: brain-numbing drivel.

  14. I stole this quote from Last Hussar:

    And how did he pass the exams? “I never lied, but if I was asked a question about the age of the universe, I answered from my knowledge of the topic, not my beliefs.”

    So he KNOWS what the truth is. But because his BELIEFS tell something else his beliefs are the truth? Seems logical to me.

  15. Thanks for the link to Dr. Dino™‘s blog, Zilch – I spent 2.5 minutes in there.

    I used to belive [sic] that I came from a rock 4.6 billion years ago until I started watching your material and thinking for myself.

    I found that one particularly enlightening.  wink

  16. stole this quote from Last Hussar

    That was just one of the enlightened quotes from the Guardian article.

    I want to see the exhibit where Jehovah orders the Israelites to butcher all the Amalekite babies.

    I read this, Zilch. What a nasty piece of work. But written with such love- “it was in their own interests”. I considered an email, but he reckons he gets so much, the chance of him responding was low.  The chicanery- “it wasn’t genocide- here’s the modern legal definition”, the worry at the detail, the same old same old. “Manners of the age”.  Next time an American uses that one, tell him to be thankful that the British didn’t brutally suppress a certain bunch of traitors, as happened in other colonies.

    Particually creppy “sins of the father”- God is actually punishing the evil-doer, not the child.  Don’t think they would try this one even in Texas.  “To punish you we are going to execute your child”.  While I agree that many people would find this the ultimate punishment, I can hardly see how that doesn’t make the law the ultimate evil killer. But Hey Goddidit- so it’s ok.

  17. You read the whole thing, Hussar?  You’ve got a strong stomach.  An apologist of this guy’s caliber could have had a great career as a defense lawyer at the Nuremberg trials.

    I especially liked his closing statement:

    I am forced to say (with heavy heart, but probably not nearly as heavy as God’s was that day—judgment has always grieved God—He knows all about the sorrow of governance, believe me) that the swift death of the innocents, in the context of a certain and much-more-suffering death in the desert, was the most merciful and least tragic course of action…

    So, the Amalekite parents got wasted because they were evil, and their babies got wasted so they wouldn’t suffer.  Sounds just to me.

  18. wboth: Since when did a structure dedicated to the observance of truth and history become capable of being warped into the twisted fist of religious deception and ruthless obfuscation of what we know to be true?

    Ah – epistemology has always been the rub, hasn’t it?  How do we know truth?  If you’re a free thinker or a scientist, then you likely rely on direct observation and verifiable evidence – or maybe even the scientific method.  If you’re a person of faith – no evidence is needed, and in some cases – evidence is actually there to test your faith – so it should be rejected as evil.  After all – who you gonna believe, your religious Authorities, or all that data?

    Of course, if you’re on the fence – it’s nice that there’s a group that’s willing to make up come cool looking dioramas, and then plunk them down in a “museum” in all their animatronic glory.  Then they can say, “See kids, 4 out of 5 scientists surveyed perferred our God to all the others. You see, God’s already sciency, so you don’t have to learn math, or civics, or how to think critically, or how to debate your ideas.  No no – come on in.  Have a cookie.” 

    zilch: I’m sure you’ll all be happy to know that Dr. Dino™, the irrepressible Kent Hovind, is blogging from jail.

    I had some fun with Dr. Dino’s logic earlier this year, and I had seen the reports of his tax problems.  I suppose God hates that fucker, huh?

  19. I must admit I did start to skim towards the end as it was getting a bit repetative, and I prefer to read printed stuff rather than a VDU (and no I wasn’t going to waste ink and paper).  Lets face it, this is a god who drowns new born babies, just because they were stupid enough to be born just before the flood.

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