Sweet Mother of Jesus, literally.
Seems God’s mistress/mother got bored with showing up in grilled cheese sandwiches and sewage stains on the walls of underpasses and decided to sculpt a small version of herself and her illegitimate son in chocolate drippings on the floor of Bodega Chocolates:
FOUNTAIN VALLEY, California (AP)—Workers at a chocolate company have discovered a 2-inch-tall (5-centimeter-tall) column of chocolate drippings that they believe bears a striking resemblance to traditional depictions of the Virgin Mary.
Naturally the employees were amazed by this discovery, but quickly got back to work after a few moments of idle chatter about it.
Ha! Ha! No, that would be the rational thing to do. Instead…
Since the discovery of the drippings under a vat on Monday, employees of Bodega Chocolates have spent much of their time hovering over the tiny figure, praying and placing rose petals and candles around it.
“I was raised to believe in the Virgin Mary, but this still gives me the chills,” company co-owner Martucci Angiano said as she balanced the dark brown figure in her hand during an interview Thursday. “Everyone should see this.”
Indeed so I’ve included the picture from the news item to the right. I’m sorry, but it looks like an overused butt-plug.
“When I come in, the first thing I do is look at the clock, but this time I didn’t look at the clock. My eyes went directly to the chocolate,” said Jacinto, wearing a hair net and apron as she paused from her work. “I thought, ‘Am I the only one who can see this? I picked it up and I felt emotion just come over me. For me, it was a sign.”
It’s a sign alright. A sign that the cleanliness standards at Bodega Chocolates could use some beefing up. Perhaps if they hired less credulous employees that aren’t inclined to worship random blobs of chocolate as divine messages at the drop of a hairnet there wouldn’t be any chocolate drippings coalescing on the floor.
For Jacinto, the discovery came just in time. The single mother said she has struggled with personal problems for months and says she was about to lose her faith.
“I have big problems right now, personally, and lately I’ve been saying that God doesn’t exist,” she said, pulling the dog-eared prayer card out of her pocket. “This has given me renewed faith.”
Wow, just… wow. All it takes is an amorphous blob of chocolate to restore her faith in God. Her head would probably explode if anything approaching a significant miracle were to happen. Good thing she doesn’t have to worry about that.
Thanks to Terry for the passing along the news item via email.