You’ll think this is a parody, but it’s not. James Robbins of National Review Online seems to think Global Warming will come with a lot of positives:
Personally, I don’t know what all the shouting is about. Global warming is great. Granted, maybe it isn’t really happening, and if it is there are strong reasons to doubt that humans have anything to do with it. But if the world is warming, I say “bravo.” People in most parts of the globe should have no objection to a warmer, wetter climate. If the aliens were watching they’d conclude we were making our planet more habitable on purpose.
Consider the large landmasses in the northern hemisphere, say north of 55 degrees. These are very extreme climates for human habitation. A population distribution map of Canada shows most people live in a belt running along the southern border with the United States. But add global warming and vast regions would become comfortably habitable. As well, there would be more land available for cultivation. Resources would be easier to extract. True, there might be some dislocations as crops shifted northward, but so what? Economies change all the time. And imagine the land boom up the coastlines as people rushed on up for beachfront property. If global warming is real it is creating the investment opportunity of a lifetime.
His solution for the flooding that’ll take place? First, he doubts it’ll be as bad as some of the estimates, but if it happens he envisions large sea walls to keep the water out. If the worst were to come to pass that would be 25’ tall walls all along the nation’s seashore to hold the water back. You think New Orleans was a clusterfuck when the levees failed… The positive? The government will have lots of wall building work for people.
Other bonuses he mentions include the possibility of more rain forests from the wetter weather leading to more biodiversity and population gains in Massachusetts and Vermont as people migrate from the “frigid liberal northeast towards the warm conservative south” for some reason he doesn’t bother to explain. He admits that it’ll mean some extinctions, but writes that off as “bad evolutionary choices” that shouldn’t make humans feel guilty simply because we’re so adaptable. Frankly I was surprised that he appears to believe in Evolution.
There’s more idiocy in the full column, go read it and be stunned. If ever there was a perfect example of someone who just doesn’t get it this is it.