Bible Decoders now up to their 8th guess. Not even trying anymore.

It’s time to check in on the latest guess for when the U.N. will be destroyed by a nuclear blast is supposed to take place according to the The Lords’ Witnesses and the True Bible Code Nutcases:

The UN in Midtown Manhattan will be hit by a sea borne nuclear bomb on 2006Ab15 i.e. on the Jewish Sabbath between Sundown Friday August 11th and Sundown Saturday August 12th, 2006

Our new and 8th sabbath lookout attempt at the date should now be correct, according to 1 Kings 18, since Elijah told his attendant to go back and look for a man made mushroom cloud 7 times during a festival after the first no show during a festival, giving 8 attempts during festivals in all…

I think constantly being wrong is starting to wear on them a bit. There’s no apology for being clueless idiots in the past this time around, no estimates on how sure they are about this latest guess, barely even a change to the page other than updating the date and the number of bad guesses they’ve had so far. Who knows? Maybe reality will eventually beat it into their heads that they’re delusional after all.

Update: It appears they’re putting the explanation for their past mistakes on their front page of the site now:

What we now propose is…

2006Ab15 (August 11/12) [7th sabbath lookout period after first mistake]

So one could say you have had 9 attempts, you screwed up each time, give up and try doing something less dramatic! But although our repeated failures would at first sight take more and more credibility away from our work, the world security situation is for a fact moving in a direction that lends more and more credibility to our work.

Uh, no. No it doesn’t lend more credibility to your work. All it lends is more evidence of your gullibility and never ending abundance of credulity.

From there they go on to grasp at straws claiming to have predicted all sorts of things (e.g. impotency of the U.N.) that have supposedly come to pass and by deciding to suddenly change which calendar they’re using to form their calculations seeing as too much time has passed by the current calendar for there to be any chance of being correct in their predictions:

So we correctly predicted the impotence of the UN and we have homed in on this critical and decisive time for global security. If we are right then things will get worse and go nuclear. If we are wrong then this will all fizzle out and Israel will, through warfare, find the lasting peace in the middle east that politicians’ talk about whilst they ship arms to Israel. Which of these seems the more likely really? Jesus said: Blessed are the peace makers, not the arms dealing peace talkers.

So world events impel us to continue to try and put this jigsaw of interpretations together, notwithstanding our date setting failures so far. The first problem is that if we continue to use the solar calendar to count out the pregnancy of 1 Thessalonians 5:3 we are now past 46 weeks, which really is too long. So we must use the Biblical Lunar Calendar instead. This is the calendar which the bible itself uses.

This is a classic example of a group of people seeing what they want to see in world events and trying to make predictions off of it and then modifying their predictions to fit whatever facts they can manage to shoehorn into a semi-plausible explanation so as to toss aside their failed predictions as merely being mistakes of calculation on their part rather than the arbitrary guesses of a bunch of batshit crazy True Believers™. They can’t possibly be wrong because they read so much into the events unfolding around them that won’t allow them to accept any other possible world view even though they have been wrong almost a dozen times now. It’s like the crazy inventor who thinks he’s always just this side of invention a perpetual motion device.

5 thoughts on “Bible Decoders now up to their 8th guess. Not even trying anymore.

  1. Surviving a Nuclear Attack

    It is perfectly possible so long as you are outside the blast radius (2 or 3 miles from the bomb) and so long as you can put 3 feet of soil between you and the rest of the world for 7 days

    Why am I reminded of Neil in the Young Ones painting himself white, to “deflect the blast”???

    I’m surprised they didn’t use the old, “But we prayed and prayed and that’s what saved us!” excuse.

  2. They are stupid as well. Any good cult uses a date that you can WORK with (i.e. one away long enough to fleece the worshippers). They haven’t even gotten that far…

  3. Theyed have more luck using the aztec calender, provided they’re competent enough to read something that doesnt BLEED christianity.  They need to have a column in the newspaper right next to the horoscopes, itd make for entertainment, thats for damn sure.

  4. Good things come to those who wait… and wait… and wait.

    how much do you want to bet they say they were predicting the terrorist plot that was just foiled. So it was air-borne liquid bomb that would have gone off, instead of a sea-borne nuclear device. Don’t be so nitpicky grin

  5. You do realize that eventually there going to be right just because eventually someone really is going to nuke the UN.  Then whatever show takes the place of “History Channel Declassified” in the future will report this as an instance of actual prophecy and Christian e-mails telling the story of how the bible predicted the destruction of the UN weill appear?

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