No sooner than the last Jet Li movie ends then over on the Spike TV channel another one starts. This one is 1991’s Xiao ao jiang hu zhi dong fang bu bai or, as it’s now known in the U.S., The Legend of the Swordsman.
This one isn’t billed as a comedy and yet it somehow manages to be even goofier still than the earlier movie. Right now there’s these two women being attacked by bandits or assassins or something and the bad guys are doing things like spinning into the ground where they burrow around with their sword sticking up out of the ground to try and kill the women. Meanwhile the women are leaping from tree to tree using some whip like thing and occasionally pulling trees out of the ground with the whips and throwing them at the dude who’s under ground. One of the women starts playing a teeny flute and calls on all the hundreds of thousands of snakes that all apparently just happen to live in the immediate area to attack one of the other bad guys who manages to slice them all into snake McNuggets when they leap at him. Now Jet Li shows up after the fighting is all done and he appears to be some sort of a monk and now he’s being attacked by a bunch of other monks for no apparent reason.
I have no idea what the fuck is going on in this movie and it only just started. That’s not a good sign.