A Michigan man by the name of Stephen Humphrey managed to rip his wife’s arm off with his pickup truck over the weekend and the news has been all over the story since. Seems this guy and his wife were having a fight when he pulled over in a huff and told her to get the hell out of his truck. She did so and then reached back in through the window to retrieve her cellphone at which point her husband stomped on the gas to take off and her arm got tangled up in the passenger seatbelt. She was dragged for a distance until her feet got caught underneath the rear tire and her arm was ripped off between the shoulder and the elbow. Not being a complete dumbass, Humphrey turned around and collected his wife and rushed her to the hospital for treatment and tried to tell police that it wasn’t his fault. His story was that he stopped to let her relieve herself while he drove down the road for no apparent reason and turned around only to find her lying in the ditch minus her arm when he came back. He said another car had hit her and took off.
So that’s pretty stupid and all, but not as stupid as what his defense lawyer is claiming:
“I’m saying he’s a hero,” John Gonta, Humphrey’s lawyer, said Thursday. “He made sure his wife survived. Whatever happened before that, I don’t know, but I’m glad he took her to the hospital.”
While I agree that it’s a good thing he didn’t just leave her in the ditch to bleed to death, I find describing him as a hero as being a gross misuse of the word and a rather stunningly transparent attempt to paint his client in the best possible light. Humphrey at least has the (rather poor) excuse of being drunk and angry for his stupidity, but his lawyer looks like an even bigger idiot for making such a ridiculous claim about his client.
Oddly enough the police have been unable to locate the poor woman’s arm or, for that matter, precisely where the incident took place. Meanwhile Humphrey has been charged with third-offense drunken driving causing serious injury and operating a vehicle with a suspended license also causing serious injury and could face up to five years in prison as a result.
Hero my ass.