There’s one less stupid person in the world today:
KIEV (Reuters) – A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal’s enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.
“The man shouted ‘God will save me, if he exists’, lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions,” the official said.
“A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery.”
There’s a few possibilities we can draw from this:
- God does exist and doesn’t really give a shit if you get eaten by a lion.
- God does exist and thinks lions deserve a little fresh meat every now and then.
- God does exist and makes some people stupid enough to believe that God will save them if they confront lions while calling on God and then lets the lion kill said people as it brings Glory to God by demonstrating how he can make people stupid enough to walk up to lions and get killed.
- God does exist, but doesn’t respond well to being directly challenged to save people from their own stupidity.
- God does exist and would’ve saved this idiot form the lions if he didn’t already have his hands busy trying to help Bush pass the Gay Marriage amendment.
- God does exist and did tell the idiot to attempt this feat, but the idiot didn’t hear God when God later spoke up just before he climbed into the lion cage with a quick, “Only kidding!”
- God does exist, but doesn’t answer prayers on a set timetable and as such will get around to answering the idiot’s prayer sometime before the end of Creation. Maybe. Unless he’s busy watching the Sopranos.
- God doesn’t exist therefor it’s probably a bad idea to rely on God to save you from your own stupidity. This is the one I think is most likely.