Do you have to shoot your dog once he finishes eating?

So my wife asks me to go pick up a couple of gallons of milk at the local Kroger the other day and, being the wonderful and loving husband that I am, I head on over and do so. As I’m headed to the dairy section at the back of the store I pass by an aisle display consisting of many very large bags of dog food that caught my eye for some reason. As I approached the display I couldn’t help but let out a barely audible “what the fuck” as I realized that the packaging read DISNEY’S “OLD YELLER” CHUNK STYLE DOG FOOD. I had to stop and stare at it because I just couldn’t believe it. I was literally flabbergasted for a moment or two and then I busted out laughing. Some of you younger people might be wondering what the hell I’m going on about so let me fill you in.

Old Yeller is a Disney live action film circa 1957 (so it was 10 years old by the time I was born) that tells the heartwarming story of a young boy who befriends a feisty stray dog developing a deep and loving bond with it until he has to shoot the dog at the end of the movie because it contracted rabies. This movie has been traumatizing children for decades and the only thing anyone who’s ever seen it can remember about what happens in the film is the fact that the kid has to shoot his friggin’ dog.

Needless to say, the idea that someone thought “Old Yeller” was the perfect tie-in for a dog food brand sent me into hysterical laughter. As it turns out it was a test run between Disney and Kroger that was launched in April of 2005:

“The movie is a timeless classic that transcends generations, and we believe this brand will appeal not only to original fans, but to the millions of Americans who share the same kind of special bond with their beloved dogs,” said Barry Vance, Kroger senior corporate category manager.

“Bringing Disney’s Old Yeller brand to a trusted retailer like Kroger was a natural fit,” said Christopher King, category director, Disney Consumer Products FMCG. “Disney’s Old Yeller dog food is for those dogs that are part of the family.”

This seems like such a bad idea that it’s gotta be doomed to failure, right? Well, apparently not:

Cincinnati-based Kroger in April 2005 replaced a private-label dog food in its 2,500 U.S. stores with one branded by the 1957 Disney film pooch. Since then, it has become the store’s best selling dog food, Mooney said.

“They’re anxious to develop a whole range of accessories,” said Mooney, a Scotsman who formerly worked for Nike. Disney is already investigating a cat food range with Kroger.

He stressed, however, that Disney’s expansion in the pets business is unlikely to be centered around food, but instead on such items as collars, clothing and bedding, which have been popularized recently by celebrity dog owners like Paris Hilton.

First up will be a new line of fur coats tied in with Disney’s 101 Dalmatians. Yeah, you’re laughin’ now, but just you watch!

11 thoughts on “Do you have to shoot your dog once he finishes eating?

  1. To this very day, Old Yeller launches me into fits of uncontrollable weeping. Needless to say, John and I will not be buying this brand of kibble for our pooches Molly and Phoebe.

  2. Also in the Disney pipeline:

    Jiminy Cricket Bug Spray

    Bambi and Thumper Wild Game Frozen Dinners

    Snow White Apple Pie

    Little Mermaid Fish Sticks

    Winnie the Pooh Toilet Tissue

    Three Little Pigs Ham-a-Palooza Frozen Entrees

    Beauty and the Beast “Magical Transformation

  3. The list goes on and on …

    “The Da Vinci Code” rosaries!

    “Yours, Mine, and Ours” condoms!

    “An Inconvenient Truth” Hummers!

    LOL

  4. KPG: Last Temptation of Christ – Mary Magdalane Rubber Fuck Doll

    All through reading that I thought I have nothing to add except a few LOLs and then …
    You’re a sick fucker KPG. LOLLOL:lol::lol:

  5. I dont know what you all are crying about but take it from me i have 12 dogs and every one is like my kids and i feed them this dog food and i have tryed many different ones and they like this one the best. if they want to try to come out with new things let them. are you mad that you did not come up with it first?  if you dont like it then dont buy it but dont put them down for trying new thigs. i think i have said my mind…

  6. Tammy writes…

    I dont know what you all are crying about…

    Tell me Tammy, have you seen the movie this dog food is named after? If not then re-read my explanation above about how the kid in the film has to shoot his dog at the end of the movie.

    are you mad that you did not come up with it first?

    Not in the least. I think it’s funny as hell that someone branded a dog food after a movie where the dog dies.

    if you dont like it then dont buy it but dont put them down for trying new thigs.

    You’re right. We should never criticize people who are trying new things no matter how stupid they happen to be.

    i think i have said my mind…

    What little there is to share has, indeed, been shared.

  7. I bought a Bag of this Crap thinking my dog would like it. And guess what there is not only junks of Old Yeller in here but there is Roaches inside this bag, Dead and Alive. I noticed after my dog had been throwing up this food so i was like hmm. I look in the bag and into the glass container i use to pour his food and dead roach in the cup. I take it out and pour out 2 scoops and 1 live and 2 deads roaches.. So i will be taking my dog to the Vet to make sure he is ok and Kroger is going to pay for his Bill.. This is just BS..  I will never buy dog food from Frys/Kroger ever again..  Petsmart it is

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