27 thoughts on “A Special Thank You To The United Kingdom”

1. Amen, bro. Here’s my (far from complete) list:

   Pink Floyd
   George Harrison
   London
   Status Quo (rock band)
   Baltimora
   John Lennon
   Queen Elizabeth I
   Richard Dawkins
   The Rolling Stones
   The Prisoner (television show)
   The Avengers
   Doctor Who
   Monty Python
   Duran Duran
   Billy Boyd
   Charles Darwin
   Elton John
   Isaac Newton
   John Locke
   J.R.R. Tolkien
   Gerry and the Pacemakers
   The Beatles
   Richard Harris
   Davy Jones
   Badfinger
   David Bowie
   Mott the Hoople
   Def Leppard
   Peter Sellers
   The Who
   Agatha Christie
   Led Zeppelin
   Paul McCartney and the Wings
   Peter Cook
   The Yardbirds
   Marc Bolan
   Eric Idle
   Graham Chapman
   John Cleese
   Terry Gilliam
   Robert Plant
   Michael Palin
   Simon Napier-Bell
   Eric Clapton
   Basil Rathbone
   Roger Waters
   Keeping Up Appearances
   King Crimson
   Patrick Macnee
   Diana Rigg
   Peter Bourne
   Raj Singh
   Adrian Ropes
   Rudyard Kipling
   Roy Kinnear
   Leo McKern
   Jethro Tull
   Peter Gabriel
   Patrick Cargill
   Victor Spinetti
   Sean Bean
   Ringo Starr

2. Oh, and I forgot to mention Douglas Adams and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series.

3. stems from the British aisles.

   Er, I mean isles….

   I’d like to claim that as a clever twist of the languase, you know, shopping aisles, consumerism, entertainment and such. Unfortunately it’s just another in a long string of typos.

4. Thank You.  I accept on behalf of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

   Number 6 in the ‘Big Book of Phrases I’d never Thought I Say’

   House
   CSI
   Babylon 5
   American Dad
   Bill Bryson
   Josesh Heller
   F Scott Fitzgerald
   Terry Gilliam (one of yours, not ours)
   The West Wing
   Apocolypse Now
   Quentin Tarentino
   The Rat Pack
   Dilbert
   Buffy
   Angel
   Fritz Leiber
   Robin Williams

   we will take as down payment.  Please come and take back Gerry, Oprah, Montel et al.  We have decided to invoke the ‘sale or return’ clause.

5. I’m curious as to what was going on inside my head (or, more accurately, what wasn’t going on) that caused me to neglect to mention The Clash.

   I’ll also add Ozzy Osbourne to the list, if only because Black Sabbath rocked.

6. Sadie, surely it was because you heard London Calling and realised the mistake?  Heard any Jam?

7. I’d add the English language to that extensive list. 
   Oh, and Cricket and the Football games of Soccer and Rugby.

8. Speaking of Cricket, does anyone know ANY channel in the states that broadcasts the occasional cricket game. I’ve read so much about the game I’d love to actually see it played for once.

9. KPatrick, unless you want to fall asleep very quickly I’d avoid it, the only thing more boring than watching cricket, is playing it. At least when you are watching, you aren’t out in the blazing sun without a drink, waiting for a hard leather ball to come flying your way.

10. Thanks for the return of compliment, Hussar.

    “We belong to a mutual admiration society”- anyone else old enough to remember that?  I’m awarding a big imaginary friend to whoever can identify the Broadway show it’s from- no cheating, or my imaginary friend will fry you!

    I’ll second the lists above, and add a few of my own:

    the anonymice who wrote Beowulf, Gawain, and the Harley Lyrics
    Chaucer
    Thomas More
    Thomas Hobbes
    John Dunstable
    Henry Purcell
    William Lawes
    John Coprario
    Orlando Gibbons
    David Hume
    John Locke
    Isaac Newton
    …and of course Charles Darwin.

11. I’d like to add……..
    Jonathan Stroud
    Phillip Pullman
    Stephen Hawking

12. Cricket – I do love that game.

    KPG: I’ve read so much about the game I’d love to actually see it played for once.

    Sorry. Can’t help you. I would suggest Fox would be doing it somewhere. Afterall, the game is payed in the US as it is in Netherlands which I only found out last year.
    Although the Poms won the world cup last year, it is the Australians who are the world champions of the current era.
    The first Australian cricket team in the late 1800s to go to The Old Dart and win was comprised of Aboriginals only.
    Every so many years Oz and the Poms play for ‘the ashes’. http://www.news24.com/News24/Sport/Cricket/0,,2-9-839_1740285,00.html

    I heard this may years ago – thankyou ??? for the internet.
    From: http://www.ssdd.uce.ac.uk/learner/whoweare/cricket.htm

    Cricket – As explained to a foreigner …
    You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out. When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

    When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.

    For a little more info: http://www.abcofcricket.com/cfb1/cfb4/cfb4.htmSome of the rules:

    Les: for your info there’s a 7.5 page gap here

    http://usa.cricinfo.com/link_to_database/ABOUT_CRICKET/EXPLANATION/EXPLANATION_OF_CRICKET.html

    On top of that there’s the science, psychology and nuances of the game which takes time to appreciate.

    Gemmark: KPatrick, unless you want to fall asleep very quickly I’d avoid it, the only thing more boring than watching cricket, is …

    Mmm, there is that.
    Trouble is, as per Murphy’s Law and, remembering that Murphy was an optimist, if you look away, roll a joint, go to the fridge or piss-house, you’ll miss something.

    Sledging is a great sport in itself – it’s where the opposing teams attempt to put the opposing team member off his game by … read on
    1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: “So how’s your wife & my kids?”

    2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. “Looks like you spent it eating,” Cullinan retorted. [Shane has a bit of a weight problem]

    3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes):
    “Hey Eddo, why are you so Fucking Fat?” Eddo Brandes: “Because everytime I
    Fuck your wife, she throws me a biscuit”

    4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: “You can’t fucking bat”. Smith to Hughes After he smacked him to the boundary: “Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can’t fucking bat & you can’t fucking bowl.”

    5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad: During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: “Tickets please”, Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

    6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards: During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn’t say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. “This is my island, my culture. Don’t you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl.” Merv didn’t reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: “In my culture we just say fuck off.”

    7. And of course you can’t forget Ian Healy’s legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney… “You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat cunt!!!”

    8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh……. MW : “Fuck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there’s no way you’re good enough to play for England”
    JO : “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family” [Mark is the younger of the Waugh twins – his brother Steve was Oz captain for a few years]

    9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: “So what does Brian Lara’s dick taste like?” Sarwan: “I don’t know. Ask your wife.” McGrath (losing it):
    “If you ever fucking mention my wife again, I’ll Fucking rip your Fucking throat out.”

    10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark “Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then, you’re fucking useless now”. Parore- (Turning around) “Yeah, that’s me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut & now I hear you’ve married her. You dumb cunt”.

    11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, “Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it.”

    12. Malcolm Marshall [an extremely fast West Indian bowler] was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : “Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?”

    13. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row’s legs. Fred doesn’t say a word.
    At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly.
    “I should’ve kept my legs together, Fred”. “So should your mother” he replied.

13. Les: for your info there’s a 7.5 page gap here

    It disappeared. 

14. others not yet mentioned:

    Kate Bush!
    Gerald Heard (philosopher)
    Radiohead
    Cocteau Twins
    Sir Ian McKellen
    Alan Davis (artist)
    Brit-coms (too many others to list)
    X-Ray Specs (the punk band, not the toy)
    Alan Turing (computer scientist)
    James Burke (historian)
    … and many more I’ll remember as soon as I hit “submit.”

15. I’ll add Eric Burdon and the Animals. I do love those warm San Franciscan nights, and we’ve all got to avoid going back to New Orleans to wear that ball and chain.

16. KPatrick, unless you want to fall asleep very quickly I’d avoid it, the only thing more boring than watching cricket, is playing it. At least when you are watching, you aren’t out in the blazing sun without a drink, waiting for a hard leather ball to come flying your way.

    You’re watching it all wrong. Unless bloody Boycott was batting…

    Ex Yorkshire and England Cricketer who was tried for hitting his ex 20 times.  It came as no surprise to England Fans he was let off.  Last time he made 20 stokes it took a day and a half.

    Japan 1 Australia 3

    Craker of a last 10 minutes LJ, but that was definately a Jap penalty

17. As an Englishman, I’d like to say thank you

    Don’t forget, we were also part founders of the New World (part of which you rebels now call America – btw, thanks for 4th July, gave us an excuse to get rid of you ), we’re also partly responsible for your legal system, your constitution and most of your place names (“New” York, “New” England, Leicester are just a few off the top of my head).

    Admittedly, you have made a few mistakes (driving/riding on the wrong side: obviously you’ve never had to participate in a sword fight!), but you are beginning to get the hang of things.

    Oh – and I’m sure you didn’t forget that we provided you with irony and sarcasm as well (don’t forget the difference between them!).

    Last_Hussar – you forgot a few things when you were thanking these rebels:

    House – Main actor: Hugh Laurie, a Brit.
    CSI – Theme song “Who Are You” by Pete Townshend, a Brit.
    Bill Bryson – I believe he is currently a Brit.
    Buffy – Anthony Head (aka “Rupert Giles”). Brit.
    Robin Williams – not to be confused with the wonderful Robbie Williams, a Brit.

18. While we’re on the subject of all the great things you brits have sent over here, there’s one thing I’d be ever so grateful if you’d just take back:

    Gerry Anderson and his stupid fucking puppets.

    I’ve always hated those damn things.

    His live action shows kind of sucked too, just not as bad.

19. Apparently Hugh wants Greg House to suffer a blow to the head, so he has an excuse to not to do the accent (‘Oh, what has happened to the way I talk?’)

    Last_Hussar – you forgot a few things when you were thanking these rebels:

    I was returning KP’s compliment. Pity HL had to go to that side of the pond to get a serious role.

    Cross overs I’d like to see

    House as a Doctor Who Assistant (Is even the TARDIS big enough for those two ego’s?)

    Robin Williams as House (think about it…)

    KP- probably the best cricket to start watching is 20/twenty.  This is named after the format in which team bats for just 20 overs- a total of 120 balls (pitches in baseball), so you have to score quickly.  Teams tend not to worry about getting all out (10 wickets (BB=outs)) and just go to slog the thing.

    Best commentator quote has to be the late great ‘Blowers’ (Henry Blofeld)  ‘The Batsmans Holding the bowlers Willey’ better even than ‘Botham failed to get his leg over’

20. Gerry Anderson and his stupid fucking puppets.

    KP- I had you down as a man of taste.  I suppose everybody is allowed one mistake (eg putting forbidden tree where easily reachable).

    You need to see the new CGI Captain Scarlet (no puppets). What I love about old Cpt S is the continuing story arc, especially in the original.

    Terrahawks succed though.

21. Maybe it’s just me, but in every thing I’ve seen that Anderson’s been involved with (from Captain Scarlet to Space 1999) the actors all sound like they’re doing their best just to stay awake.

    For continuing story arcs I like Blake’s 7 or Babylon 5 on our side of the pond. (I have a friend who refers to those shows as the sci-fi vitamin shows, B5, B7)

    I suppose the new CGI version could be all right, but how would you react if I said “You have to try Hasselhoff’s new version of Knight Rider.”? (Not that I ever would say such a thing….)

22. LH: Cracker of a last 10 minutes LJ, but that was definately a Jap penalty

    I’m glad it was 3:1 and not 2:1.
    The Twenty/20 game? It’s fast. I’m trying to imagine Boycott in one.

23. I started off thinking I should thank you for Nigel Kennedy and then … Vanessa-Mae (drop-dead gorgeous, not even 30 and done so much – notice how she hardly stops to be untangled from the head gear) who brought sex back into classical music as at:
    
    
    

    But how did I get there? I know you don’t care but …
    Last nite I was YouTubing round and found myself at:
    
    
    
    One of the best (Dutch) Gypsy guitarists I’ve heard for a while – which reminded me of Django at:
    
    
    
    Which then prompted me to Stephan, the maestro violinist, and then to:
    
    
    
    Which then directed me to Jean-Luc with a classic, from my stoned 70s favourite, Frank Zappa with Dentil Floss at:
    
    
    
    Buzz.
    Thanks for the trip, LH.
    Oh and before I forget Jean-Luc fed me into Vanessa-Mae.

24. IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR K PATRICK GLOVER:

    27-31 2nd Test, Old Trafford

    You can listen via internet

    here

    If that is wrong (will be my fault) Go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio/ and pick Radio Five Live Sports Extra (make sure its Sports Extra, not just 5 Live)

    You can also listen to BBC comedy via this page on Radio 4 and Radio 7

25. It appears to be something about chickens. I don’t get it.

26. KPG: It appears to be something about chickens. I don’t get it.

    Did you get you meds thrixed up?

27. Oddly enough, no, which just makes it funnier.

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